cleaning house

no, not metaphorically. real-life-ly. el cleano mi casa. my new formula for housecleaning is focus. tonight i spent 1.5 hours cleaning one room. if you come in here & cannot tell a difference, i am really going to need you to lie & say you can. thanks, there.

tomorry we're planning to go see the u-s national soccer team take on trinidad & tobago at the local professional football field. in soccer, you call the field - "the pitch". in real soccer, you call soccer "futbol", but hey, we're the nasty eejit americano yanks who don't know no better, so we call it soccer. and, we play it on a football field, b/c that's the way we roll our own, and if you don't like it, you can take your ball & go home! i predict we are going to kick some trinidadlian & tobagoanian ass tomorry - if not in the futbol match itself then we will kick some cheering ass b/c their country takes so long to say that we will be doing like 50 cheers in the time it takes them to do 1! yipee-ki-yay!

tomorry is also april fools day, so watch out for the fools. they are sure to be out in force, unlike on normal days where they are just milling about aimlessly.

copy me

this evening - my old man suggested we stop in the kinko's we were driving by and make copies of ourselves. i was like - haha, sit on the copier, haha! and he was like - no, we should demand to be cloned.

i posit this as evidence that i am not the weird one.

fold 'em! fold 'em! fold 'em! keep those clothees foldin'! cross-eyed!!

green team tied yesterday, 1-1. so we're 1-0-1 on the season. it's soccer 101. ha.

went for a run today at lunchtime and enjoyed it so much i went for another when i got home. this warm sunny weather you folks go on & on about - it has its appeal, i grant you that.

i should be folding clothes right now.

read an article about fb & the guys who invented it. their vision is to create a worldwide communication thigiemadoogie. recently, they changed the home page and made it what i like to call «wack». many other fb users would agree with me. in the article, the guys in charge of fb were quoted as saying they basically didn't care what people thought. «it's not a democracy,» they said. okay, yes. they are correct. it's not a democracy - it's a business. and, if you want to run your business with the customer service model we don't care what our customers want - well, more powah to ya. that's a tried & true model - and, a highly successful one. if you define success to mean «no customers». enjoy your arrogance, fb boys, b/c your golden days will not last forever. don't forget that i am working on the next big thing - in-your-face-book, the anti-social network.

i really should be folding clothes right now.

i opened a pkg of fig newtongs today, and one of my newtongs was deformed. you know how newtongs are closed on both sides & opened on the ends? well, this one was open down one side. cripes! the best way to eat a newtong is to pull off the side crusts & eat them first, and then eat the rest of the newtong. if there's a side missing, that takes some of the fun out of it. not to mention - the newtong was hideous in its ugliness. where was quality control? didn't anyone notice a sideless newtong riding along the conveyor to the pkg machine? maybe someone did notice, but they thought it was okay enough. maybe someone ate the side crust! maybe the quality control guy ate the side crust! omg! he is probably reading this & laughing about it right now, thinking how he ate the side crust & marred the newtong! curse you, crust-eating quality control guy!

i am going to fold the clothes now.

artfully done.

i'll admit there's a lot about art i don't understand, but a lot of what the so-called experts say is art is not art. it's just not. some of these purported masterpieces are just a bunch of lines or color blocks on a canvas. i don't care how it makes you feel, it's not art. i don't care how long the painter thought about the painting or how anguished the painter is - it's just not art. there has to be some real thought & meaning to art. cbs sunday morning this morning had a story about cezanne's influence on modern art.

here's a cezanne -

notice the color, the portrayal of perspective, the details. it's a beautiful picture with depth & feeling. there's a sense that you could visit the place.

here is an ellsworth kelly, influenced by that cezanne -

notice that the blue block is vaguely the same shape & color as the lake in the cezanne. have you spotted it yet? yes, it's very complicated, but i know you will get it eventually.

ha.

a blue block that is roughly the same shape and color as a lake in a great painting - this blue block is not art. ellsworth kelly has duped the art world. how do people fall for this stuff?

in other art news, currently watching the file strange days with ray fiennes, aka ralph fiennes, aka rafe fiennes. his name's properly pronounced rafe, but why would you name your kid with a first name ending in the same sound that begins the last name. rafe fiennes is clearly going to be interpreted as ray fiennes. you've done the kid a disservice. also in this movie - vincent d'onofrio being a totally psycho cop and angela bassett & juliette lewis in short skirts. it's a sort of futuristic anti-utopia thing with a police conspiracy and these virtual reality video headsets that somehow can fry ones brain. and, women in short skirts. i do not understand why in the future, women are always wearing so few clothes. well, few is one thing - why such uncomfortable clothes & such high heel shoes. have the women in the future lost all sense of practicality?

the bottom line here, really, is that tom cruise is a fine specimen.

finished paradise war and started irish tweed. i do like andrew greeley books, but cripes, they are just not edited anymore. greeley's an irish catholic priest who's written about a billion books, so i'm sure he's got a lot of influence at his publisher, and i'm sure he wants his stories unchanged, but the mistakes are ridiculous. names and faux-irish words spelled one way here, another way there. inconsistencies in characteristics of people and places. repetitions & redundancies. it's really sort of distracting from an otherwise gentle & entertaining tale. he's a good storyteller, and i'm always after a good story, but forsooth, the errors are a distraction & a shame.

watching far & away with tom cruise & nicole kidman. mr cruise is a fine looking man, he is. interestingly enough, he & nicole are portraying irish folk in this fine tale. irish in the book & irish in the screen. course ms kidman is an aussie & ol' tom's a yank, so there's really no irish here at all. looked for a pic of ol' tom in this movie, and this is all i could come up with.

speaking of irish, vandy girls lost today. okay, that's got nothing to do with irish, but there is a post theme to uphold. vandy was the last sec team in the march madness - boys or girls. they lost to maryland. vandy was the underdog, but they had like a 15 pt lead going for a while - just couldn't hold it. sort of crumbled under the pressure. started shooting too quickly, lost focus on defense. frustrating to watch, really. sort of like trying to read a greeley novel, thru all the errors.

books 2009

currently:
irish tweed
[andrew greeley]

complete:
the paradise war
[stephen lawhead]
hood
[stephen lawhead]
scarpetta
[patricia cornwell]

liveblogging from panera

gruhtings. we are at panera in mini-me's college town. had that awkward "what are you doing after grad" talk. would have to ask mini-me how it went.

this 89 yr old woman is fixing to play the accordian on the leno show.

so we all gave money to a-i-g & they kept it. they paid each other their bonuses with our money. and, they're all like «it was in the contracts - we had to!» and i am all like «uh-uh!» and they're all like «yuh-huh!» and i am all like «shut up!» and they are all like «you shut up!» and then the convo just deteriorated from there.

so this 89 yr old woman started singing & playing her accordian, and apparently it's really hard to play the ol' 'cordian, b/c she kinda quit singing, but not before she sang enough words to remind me of the song, which is that kid's song that involves sliding down a cellar door, which is a line i never understood. let's see if i can find some words for this song.... wootwoot! i found it. i remembered that it was a hand clapping game. that's a lost art, i'd say. the hand clapping game. you remember, eh? takes 2 to play, and there's all these complicated shakes & slaps & snaps & stuff, and you sing these songs and do all the hand motions. miss mary mack - that was a hard one! anyhootle - here's the playmate song -

say, say my playmate
come out and play with me
and bring your dollies 3
climb up my apple tree
slide down my rain barrel
into my cellar door
and we'll be jolly friends
forever more - more - more !

say, say my playmate,
i cannot play with you.
my dolly has the flu,
boohoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo.
ain't got no rain barrel,
ain't got no cellar door.
but we'll be jolly friends,
forever more, more, more!

these girls are playing mary mack, in a big circle. if you have never played mary mack in a circle like this, you have really missed out.


string games - there's another lost art. the witches broom & the witches keys. cup & saucer. jacob's ladder. cats cradle - the big challenge that requires 2 people to pull it off. we could actually play for extended periods of time with nothing but a shoelace.

what about outdoor games like red rover & elbow tag & red light green light & freeze tag & mother may i & simon says & four square??? cripes! do kids even know how to do any of this stuff anymore?

man, we had fun before electricity.

liveblogging from the van

installed an iPhone app to blog. we shall see how this pans out.

my eyebrows have minds of their own - and by that I mean each wee tiny browlet has thoughts, dreams, and ambitions of its own. each has an entreprenurial spirit which is played out in careers ranging from modern dance interp to barrister. i posit to you that while a strong independent streak is something one might cherish in ones self or ones child - it is inappropriate in eyebrowdom. characteristics one looks for in a worthy brow participant include: steadfastness, loyalty, ability to take direction. one is looking for the tom hanks of the facial hair realm - not the sean penn. brows should not speak unless spoken to. they should not feel empowered to be adventurous, to wander, to imagine, to dream. my brows are prima donas, and i have had enough. tomorrow, i shall begin interviewing replacements.

i always have my cookies on.

about once a quarter or so, when i log into blogger, it will redirect me to the "no cookies" error screen which tells me to set my cookies & come back later. so, i just backbutton right back to blogger login, and wahlah, i am logged in & cookiefied. i don't know why this detour occurs. i always have my cookies on. heh.

so today i got an automobile for $1. it runs okay. the trunk leaks. it looks like maybe it's never been cleaned. the driver side door appears to be falling off the hinges. but, it's in decent shape, and hey, even if it got me off the vanpool just one day, that's worth $1. it's an old sentra with 140,000+ miles. might clean it up and give it to mini-me - you know, to show her how much we love her & all that.

my job has deteriorated into a series of clerical tasks. this is not good. i don't particularly enjoy clerical tasks, and doing everyone else's clerical stuff tends to put one in a position of doormattieness. that fine line between helpfulness & doormattieness is looming closer & closer. ::sigh:: stop venting & do something! okay! get your cookies on!!

monday monday... i love that day....

did you know that ravel means the same as unravel? you don't have to say the "un". all that wasted time un'ing. yes - i got this from gary unmarried, but it's still funny.

why is it when a girl takes a guy to the opera, it's all about changing the guy, but when a guy takes a girl to a basketball game, it's all about having fun. okay, maybe the girl likes bball, and who the hell likes opera, but i think you get the point here. when one person introduces another person to something new for the nother person - is it about the one person wanting the nother person to get to know the one person better, or is it about the one person wanting to change the nother person? like, if i say to you «you should read this book that i enjoyed» - is it b/c i want you to enjoy something i enjoyed... b/c i think it will bring you pleasure like it brought me pleasure... or is it b/c i want you to be more like me, b/c i think being like me is a good way to be.

right. okay. that's just complicated.

tonight for supper we had salmon, rosemary potatoes, and broccoli. it was yummy.

from the weekend rental, i brought you 18881. also brought you 18818, 18828, 18838, 18848, 18858, 18868, 18878, 18888, 18898, and 18908. then, i stopped, but i brought you those & that should be enough for anyone.

monday - the mulligan of the week. do over!

drove & drove & drove & then played some soccer

green team 2 - orange team 1. woohoooo!! green team is undefeated on the spring season. 1-0. yipee ki yay!

do you want some pinstanchinos? you know... those little green nuts in the sharp little shells? pinstanchinos??

ran 10 today with elvis in his hometown & it turned out quite well. he's a better runner than you'd think, and of course, we can chatter-chat-chat. after running, we went to a mexican breakfast place where you can get any kind of breakfast or any kind of mexican food. no kidding. their menu is like 25 pages long. you can get pancakes, french toast, biscuits, grits, omelets, huevos rancheros, enchiladas, quesadillas, mexican rice & beans, tacos, well... i think you get it. everything. you can get french toast & enchiladas together. get it???? they bring you chips & salsa even if you ordered pancakes. get it???? do?you?get?it?

perhaps i am overasking this.

tomorrow i have a choice of trying to make it home in time for the soccer game or taking a nice run on the greenway in mini-me's college town and probably missing the game. gosh. no, seriously. gosh. it's a hard decision. and, the thing is, i kind of have to decide before the day gets started because it factors into how i will face the day. like, am i going to rush home to play soccer or just take my time & get there when i get there. gosh. i would like to take my time & get there when i get there, and then be there in time for soccer... without rushing at all. for that to happen, i would actually have to leave tonight.

perhaps i am overthinking this.

i got a coke zero - which i really like - at the speedway, and it was 99 cents [cannot figure the cents sign on this guest computer], and it is smaller than the one i got at the dollar tree for $1. the dollar tree's are like 20oz, and this one is like 16oz which is perfectly fine. it's not like i am going to miss those 4oz, and people can charge what they want. none of that is a problem. the problem is the bottle of this one is smaller and feels funny in my hand. that is a serious, serious problem.

perhaps i am overfeeling this.

marching on thru march

forgot to mail someone's birthday cards. had them. had them early as a matter of fact, but didn't get them mailed. saying forgot isn't exactly correct, either, b/c i thought about it over & over & over again. just didn't make it happen. needed to get the address, and i thought i had it in my old email. didn't find it, so that sort of put the whole process off. ::sigh:: but, really, i just don't think i tried hard enough, and i'm aggravated with myself about it all.

ut lost today in the ncaa first round. they really could have should have won. now, vandy's out & ut's out. the women are still in it... i guess... hrm. perhaps i should check on that. the women's games are at the same time as the men's. heard a great idea on the radio. the women's season should start a month earlier and have february fever or somesuch where the men's game has march madness. what a great idea - provide focus to the women's game that it deserves. maybe even get some new fans interested in the women's game while they're waiting on march madness. okay, i just looked and the women's final four is april 5-7 in st louis and the men's is like april 4-6 in detroit. it is amazingly difficult to find final four information. the ncaa website is a wee bit wack. but, we don't say wack anymore, do we? no.

march madnesssss

my hair smells like oranges & ginger b/c that is the kind of shampoo they have here at graceland. yummm! mini-me & i are on spring break. yipee-ki-yay!

in some ways it is difficult to be on vacation. there is the nagging feeling that there is something that i should be doing. went for a run - check. ate breakfast - check. had a shower - check. what else am i supposed to be doing? well, nothing, of course. it's vacation. durr. so, i check my work email b/c it makes me feel better to know that there's nothing going on there at all.

speaking of goings-on -- have you heard about that dance competition that is going on? it's called "the big dance". so far, i haven't been able to find any broadcasts of it b/c the sports stations are all covered up with b'ball, but when i find it, i will certainly report on it. you can trust me for the up-to-date & accurate reportage.

julia louis dreyfus demonstrated a vocab bel grande on jay leno, and i am saying peeps at the bestbuy.

so mini-me & i were driving along today on a travelling trip & listening to the radio when what to our wondering ears should appear but the inimitable mr joel singing piano man. for some reason, when i hear this song on the radio, i always want to listen to it, but when i hear it on the cd, i always skip it. who knows. anyways - there's this line where the inimitable mr joel says --they sit at the bar & put bread in my jar-- and i am thinking --haha who says "bread" for money anymore haha-- and this reminded me that last night when we were getting my birthday gift of a [drum roll] new iphone [!!!] the guy at bestbuy put my existing 3g sim card into my new phone, and wah-lah there were all my contacts b/c durr they were on the sim card. my response? --yay - there are all my peeps-- OMG OMG OMG i don't even SAY peeps!! who says peeps!! gah!! now the guy at bestbuy thinks i am a flaming eejit. oh, you think it's not so bad i said "peeps"? well, pair that with the fact that just before that i had said --my old man really needed a new phone because his old phone was wack-- OMG OMG OMG i actually do say wack, but that is not real vocab and not meant for public consumption but is simply something i say around my peeps.

sheesh.

no time for this!

gotta hit the road. going on a trip. woohoo!!



p.s. happy birthday to the most wonderful person in the world. heh.

madagascar!! boompt-boompt-boompt!! madagascar!!

turns out madagascar is not populated by amusingly flatulant jungle animals who sing in english & dance merrily together. instead, it's filled with poverty striken peons ruled by a smarmy young dictator -- excuse me, president -- who just pulled a military coup and is rewriting the constitution as we speak b/c it currently does not allow someone his young age to be president. who knew? he looks young enough to be a fan of the disney dvd. what is he doing overthrowing his government? that's him there on the left. andry rajoelina, former dj & current teevee star, new pres of madagascar.

today at work, a coworker introduced me to an industry colleague as «the one who does everything around here & also runs on her lunch hour». introducee said «i wish i had your energy.» never sure what to say to that. «um... yeah, too bad you are such a slug. energy is super!!» yesterday, another coworker introduced me to her dad as «the one who keeps everything organized & thinks linearly.» again, not sure what to say. don't really think of myself as a linear thinker. more like a holistic thinker. i can see the linear path and also see the tangents, distractions, inputs, outputs. «you just think more linearly than the rest of us - haha!» yeah, i almost tangented right over & stomped on her toes. «oopsie! didn't see you there, outside my linearesque scope of vision.»

today at work i...

...noticed a sign on the vending machine - "machine owes vanessa .90 cents!" putting aside for the moment the fact that i do not believe vanessa is owed 9/10ths of a cent - but rather - 90¢ -- the note on the machine caught my attn b/c it was on bright blue post-it with big black sharpie lettering. so, i read it. another coworker approached the machine & said hello to me. i said hi, and that i was just reading the note and thought the machine might be broken. i was trying to warn her, you see, not to lose her money. she said - «it wasn't broken the other day.» i just smiled and walked away because she had so clearly established that what was working the other day could in no way have failed between then & now, so it must be working now.

...passed by the machine on my way back to my cubby from the front desk, where i had been collecting packages due to me - a description of which adventure follows thusly. i approached the front desk & noticed the guard was not looking at approachees, and it appeared she was on the phone b/c she was holding her hand [covered by her jacket] up to her head. not sure why she'd have to cover the phone w/ her jacket, but anyhootle, i approached & signed the register verifying acceptance of the packages. i waited a moment, watching her, and realized she was not on the phone. also realized she appeared to be playing solitaire on the computer - the distinctive mouse movements & clicks gave her away. so, i spoke up - «i'm here to collect those packages.» she said - «oh! please sign the register.» i said - «i already did that.» she said - «oh! haha! i know i am not feeling well, but didn't realize that i was that out of it.» hrm. did i mention she is the guard at the front desk which faces a front door which faces a high crime bus terminal? seems like it might be helpful if she were, you know, aware of her surroundings.

...created three pdfs.
...moved various files thru the workflow system.
...answered email.
...updated a project plan.
...read a couple enewsletters.
...ran 6 miles in 55:58. okay, that part was not technically "at work" but more like "during the workday hours".
...ate a turkey sammich. again, not technically a work activity.
...not sure what else i did. didn't keep track.

stimulus package. heh. i said package.

you've heard about the latest round of stimulus pkg being distributed to us regular folks - right? it's about $13 per week on everyone's paycheck. i have no idea who thought this up or how it works. like, i think it's some sort of tax break, but since we don't have a flat tax, how does it work that everyone is getting the same amount? there is very little talk about how it was conjured. there's very little talk about it at all, save scoffing. everyone's all like - $13? what the hell can i do with $13? i probably won't even notice it. ah-hah! did you see it? the brilliance is in the smallness.

see, the problem with the big stimulus checks is that people save them or use them to pay off existing debt. normally, that would not be a problem. saving & paying off existing debt are good things, but - here's the key - they don't stimulate the economy. for the stimulus to work as it's designed to, we must all go out and spend it. $13 per week for 52 weeks is $676. if you received a check for $676, what would you do with it? probably pay off existing debt or save it - this has been proven through past stimulus checks to be our modus operandi.

so instead of giving us $676 apiece, they are giving us $13 per week. not enough to even notice. a small trickle that will work its way back into the economy. the simplicity is part of the brilliance.

and, the stimulus goes to people who are working - people who are bringing home a paycheck. it's not just free money being handed out randomly to people who aren't even working. sorry to you people who aren't working, but i am supporting a bunch of you already with my tax $$ so instead of handing more to you, it's nice to get a wee bit back for myself.

a wee bit every week. not enough to notice. an extra tank of gas. a couple sub sammiches or baked potatoes. an extra steak at the supermarket. a book. a new pack of tee shirts. this or that. something small. but added together, and it's not so small anymore.

and what would you buy with $676 if you did spend it? a wii? a washing machine? new tires for the car? you'd make one large purchase, and then go back to your regular habits. with the wee bit extra every week, there's a constant supply of money being spent here, there, & yonder. the supply is constant and widespread, and we all get used to spending again. we're all scared to spend, concerned we'll need the money later, and probably wouldn't spend our $676 at all [yes, i already said this]. it's not scary to spend $13. it just slips through your hands. you get comfortable with spending again.

widespread & consistent. nonthreatening & easy.

simply brilliant.

another thrilling saturday

so, it's raining, and i'm sort of killing time until the rain lightens up a bit. my old man's gone to the gym, and i guess i could have tagged along, but it's not like i was invited or anything. so, i am killing time till the rain lightens up so i can go outside & run. later, we might go to the mall to purchase tee shirts & underpants. yes, another thrilling saturday. okay, i am actually a little excited about buying new tee shirts & underpants, but i am fairly certain that's simply a commentary on how easily amused i am.

where have all the flowers gone?

this blog has a sitemeter on it. ooo! big whoop. the point is that for about a week, this place was downright hopping. well, hopping is all relative, but there were 10-12 visitors per diem. today? zero. zip. zilch. nada. nil. none. fascinating, really, the nature of internet search. for a week to 10 days, 10-12 folks per day were running aground here thru google or somesuch search. suddenly today - totally & completely ice cold. the googling google googs, and having googed, googs on.

today on my lunchtime run, i [ahem... wink-wink] accidentally went too far & then had to run back. it was oopsie-doopsie 10 miles. not really sure how that happened, but perhaps it had something to do with the fact that there's a 100% chance of rain tomorrow when i would have usually done my weekly 10. i don't think anyone missed me from work during the time i was gone, b/c you know, i run so fasterly.

tonight my old man showed up with whitt's stuffed taters. yipee ki yay! delishus taters with turkey bbq and add in there the cornbread - hooo-yeh! so, i ated the whole tater, and the tater skin cause i likes me some tater skins, and then ate 2 pieces of the cornbread which they call corn "light" bread. not sure what the "light" part is, b/c it's the same color as any other cornbread, and it's sure not light in weight. it's kind of heavy & sticky. but, it's yum yum yummy!

so, he brought home something yummy to eat, but another key factor in the pure delight was that he decided, purchased, and carried home a certified dinner item without requiring coaching or cajoling. go you mr man!

friday the 13th

just heard an promo ad for oprah's show for this afternoon -- join the facebook revolution. heh. i'll show ya a fb revolution - it's called in-your-facebook. haha! yeah.

michael phelps will talk this morning on the today show about the pic of him w/ drug parephenalia [sp?!] in his hand. i predict he will say it was a mistake. i predict he will be meaning that getting his picture w/ the paraphenalia [is that right?] snapped was a mistake, and not a mistake having the parephernailia in his hand per se.

why are local commershals so stupid? is it really that difficult to write a good commershal? why do local biz owners feel compelled to act the fool on teevee?

today's thurs, so tomorrow's friday, unless you travel across the international date line & then maybe it'll be thurs again - or maybe saturday?

vandy v bamalama in the sec tourney. vandy lost. boo! i guess it's the nit tourney now for the dores and then on to next year. with nary a senior on the team, all faces should be familiar next year.


today is was sleetsnowing in my town, and i went for a run, and it was quite amusing. the sleet was a wee bit painful, but not bad, and there was snow, and it wasn't even all that cold - probably b/c not much wind. sleetsnow is less wet than rain, so there wasn't a problem with being wet. overall - it was a sweet run.

soccer is scheduled to start this weekend, but it's also scheduled to rain tomorrow & saturday & sunday, so we'll see how that turns out. if we play, i can wear my new christmas cleats! yay! been missing me some soccer. there was no indoor league this year so it's been a while. but, i am just betting it will be a while more b/c i don't think the weather's going to cooperate this weekend.

my old man was supposed to play golf on saturday, and of course, i was planning a long run for saturday. a wee bit of rain won't bother me, but it will be the end of his plans. a lot of rain would rain on all our parades.

went by the liberry this afternoon & picked up another book - a book i'd reserved. of course, i'm in the middle of the paradise war by stephen lawhead. so, now i have a backup & when i finish this one, i won't have to be without for even a moment. now, let's just see if i can get done with this one before the liberry book needs to be returned to the liberry.

penultimate does not mean the best writing instrument evah. dubble durr.

top search on msn.com - "what is a fauxhawk?" uh... really, folks? we are searching for "what is a fauxhawk?"? we don't know this already? a fauxhawk is a stuffed bird. dubble durr.

did you hear about the omnibus bill? no, it's not legislation about giant commuting vehicles. it's the govt spending bill - like, the giant all-encompasing bill that appropriates funds to keep the govt's day-to-day wheels turning. without the legislation in place, the govt would shut down. so, the omnibus bill must be passed, and since it is deemed necessary, the legislators know it will pass the congress & be signed by the prez, so they hang earmarks on it like tinsle on a xmash tree. prez obama said in his campaign that no earmarks would be on bills he signed, but just like he said no lobbyists would work in his administration - when the campaign meets the real world, things don't always go as planned. the world is not printed in black & white, yes & no. the question is - will we let him get away with the hypocrasy? well, yeah, we probably will. i mean, what are we supposed to do about it? i would like for him to admit that he is acting in ways that he said he would not. i would like for him to admit that he knew this would happen even as he made the promises in his campaign. because any fool would have seen he couldn't keep those promises, and i do really hope he's not a fool. i mean, i think we are all kinda counting on that, eh?

according to that i-q popup ad that keeps flashing here-there-&-everywhere, obama's i-q is significantly lower than mine. this does not make the man a fool. actually, you could technically be a genius and still have an i-q lower than mine, so there's that. heh. but, here's one thing i would have thought he would have been smart enough to do - you don't want earmarks on bills you sign? well, then, don't sign bills with earmarks. double durr. let the govt shut down. there would be such an outcry if that happened, the congress would be forced to pass a bill that simply funded the govt without the earmarks.

seems obvious to me. why not simply keep it simple?

what else is up? yesterday it was 80º and tomorrow it's supposed to snow. i have run every day for the past 30 days. today i went to the dentist. we are out of graham crackers & bananas. the liberry's holding a book for me, but i'm in the middle of reading one. the blooming trees are making me sneeze.

wake up, sleepy tea house friend!

crunchatize me, cap'n!

when my publix has buy one get one free sales, you don't actually have to get 2 of the merch to take advantage of the sale. you can get one for 1/2 price. last week, cap'n crunch was on bogof, so i got one ginormous box for 1/2 price. i am right now eating some, dry, from a bowl. sort of like kibbles & bits, but not, and let me tell you what i saw today! this guy pulled up to the traffic signal and, being an apparently obedient citizen, he stopped at the signal. i noticed he had a bag of kibbles & bits in his truckbed, and as i was busy twittering about how this guy had some k&b and maybe that was b/c he has a dog and maybe it was just b/c he likes crunchy snacks, i hear him go do you know which way is marby avenue? and i am all like - where? b/c as far as i know, my town doesn't have a marby ave. and he goes, sort of louder, marby avenue! - and i am like no! since i have never heard of it. we were talking, so i was looking at his face, but then we are done talking, so i am looking back to my phone to finish twittering, and i am sometimes sort of slow on the uptake and so it hits me after he has already pulled away that OMG HE HAD A HANDFUL OF HIS HANDFUL! i don't think he simply forgot to zip his fly. i don't think his handful just fell out there into his hand. of course, i did not get his license plate or even a good look at his truck. but, if you see a wanker driving around in a white pickup truck with a bag of k&b in the back, and he asks you where is marby avenue? -- tell him - one thing's for sure, buddy, it ain't in your pants!


p.s. i felt sort of bad associating the cap'n with the story about the wanker, but then... i think the cap'n would understand that sometimes flow of consciousness takes us places we never thought we'd go.

do not disturb the driver - you may be the lone survivor.

traffic circles - the very bane of my driving existence - are safer than four-way stops or traffic signals. this of course makes sense b/c stupid traffic circles require so much attn b/c most drivers are complete & total eejits and cannot navigate them effectively. the whole concept keeps those of us who know what we are doing on our toes. we can tell those of you who don't know what you're doing because you are on your heels. or, mabye on the sides of your feet, like, balanced on that little outside part of your foot opposite your arch b/c you can't balance on your arch unless maybe if you are flat footed, but even then, you wouldn't really be on your arch, you'd be more on the whole bottom of your foot.

anyway, where was i? oh, yeah, traffic circles. they are safer than 4-way stops. curvy roads with no guard rails are safer than straight roads with rumble strips & guard rails. seems contradictory. roads that are designed to be safer are ironically less safe. why? b/c drivers become complacent - have a latte, send a txt, check out the gps, change the cd, eat a fry, drive. wait, what? drive? i am supposed to be driving??

let's make some coffee & have another biscuit.

balanced the checkbook & paid the bills & now there's a big pile of trash here & some filing to do, so be a doll & pick that stuff up for me, eh? while you're up, nab me a packet of the figgie newgies, eh? faboo, doll - faboo!

spring forward. bah. slept till my regular time this morning, and it was an hour later. they should just set it & leave it. changing the time is merely an affectation. we pretend we are in control of time & the seasons. haha. you can say it's midnight at 9am, but that doesn't make you in control. it just makes you weird. of course, they should set it & leave it this fall, after we get our freakin' hour back.

some of the geico commershals are annoying, but you have to give them this - they are covering a lot of ground. they've got those cavemen, the gecko, that freaky pile of dollars with the eyeballs, and the spokespeople. my favorites are the spokespeople and of those, it's a toss up between little richard and mrs butterworths. my next fave is the gecko. he is holding in there after many years of use and has recently had a couple good new ones where he uses a guy's momento first-$1-earned to buy a bag of crisps and another with the same guy where the guy wants the gecko to catch him in a trust fall. those show some freshness to the li'l gecko. the cavemen are simply eejits. period. and the freaky pile of dollars with the eyeballs is not only freaky, but shallow. there's just not enough to it. i am sure they were going for simple/straightforward, but it's too simple. in conclusion, covering a lot of ground sometimes leads to stupidity.

golf club. heh.

ode to spring

10. spring forward - lost hour of my life. 'nuff said.
9. pale legs - ew. nobody wants to see that.
8. white dress shoes - ew. nobody wants to see that either.
7. wind - blows.
6. hot weather - ack! ack! schweaty!
5. golf on tv - golf is not football. 'nuff said.
4. yard work - work + weekend = bad
3. pollen - ah-choo! ugh.
2. birdsong - cheep!whee!tweet! oh, please just shut up!
1. spring forward - on the list 2x. yes, it is that bad.

books 2009

currently:
the paradise war
[stephen lawhead]

complete:
hood
[stephen lawhead]
scarpetta
[patricia cornwell]

should i bango and if so why?

finished hood by stephen lawhead. it's a good book, and i enjoyed it, but i am undecided about continuing with the series. i am sure the entire series is good, like the book, and i am not sorry i read the book, but maybe the one book is enough. undecided.

currently reading another stephen lawhead book -- the paradise war. both hood and the paradise war are set in england. lawhead himself lives in oxford, so that likely explains the setting. the paradise war is set in modern times; hood is set in midieval times. there is more use of references and lingo in the present book that are not immediately clear to a non-british speaking person. in hood it was all midieval and no one speaks midieval anymore besides mini-me, so it's not like anyone is going to really get that stuff, is it now? anyhootle, in general a certain number of these references & lingo occurrances are fun - especially if they can be deciphered from the context - but overuse indicates inadequate editing for the american audience.

but enough about lingo - what about language? while hood was mostly honor & betrayal & blood & guts, the paradise war holds promise of some intriguiging philosophical insights. from pg 13 -- Digital clocks are sympomatic of our ambivalent age; they provide he precise time to the nanosecond, but no greater context: an infinite succession of "You Are Here" arrows, but nary a map. bango! this is prigzactly the problem with being informed constantly about where we are geographically, temporally, developmentally, whatever. makes one finally want to shout - yes! okay! i am here! so the fig what?? should i be someplace else? is here good, bad, indifferent? should i move? and if so, why?

context. that is what is lacking in our lives. context. big picture. vision. overview. raisin-debtor.

does anybody really know what time it is?
does anybody care?

underworked & overpaid

talking to one of my lunchtime running buddies, i mentioned how things are a wee bit hectic at work. not overwhelming by any means, just hectic to the point where you've got to make an intentional choice about what to work on and realize that some stuff may not get any attention. some stuff does not get done well - some stuff does not get done at all.

this is new to me - this concept that there's work that just doesn't get done - that things roll off the bottom of the to-do list before they can be accomplished. he said - perhaps you've never been challenged in your job before. now, that's an interesting perspective. i am not sure if he was kidding around or what. is that what it means to be a fully-challenged worker - that some stuff doesn't get done? does a fully challenged workforce leave work undone? i am not sure. i mean, he could have been yanking my chain - telling me it was my problem - that i should work harder. but he didn't act like it, and he'd usually act like it if he were kidding, and it is a point of view i can comprehend - i just don't agree with it. the point of view i'd summarize as - a fully loaded workforce will leave some tasks undone and by natural selection, the most important tasks will get done.

firstly, i believe that fully loaded worker gets his work done, and if there's work that's not getting done, it's because that worker is overloaded. secondly, who can count on natural selection to get the most important tasks done? when i've got a lot to do, i'll often start with the short-term tasks, just to get them out of the way. things at work right now are so hectic that small or short or easy tasks keep coming in by email all day, so the whole day is consumed by the short tasks. the long term stuff isn't getting any attention.

in conclusion, speedy & i are running 10+ miles in the morning. wanna go?

a wee bit o' basketball chat

watching ut v south carolina and the commentators are brent musburger & bobby knight. the only thing that would make it worse would be if dickie vitale were there, too. musburger & knight?? c'mon, espn, you can do better than that.

speaking of basketball, vandy has won their past couple games and are looking really strong. i am hoping this is a taste of what's to come next year. there's nary a senior on the entire roster. jermaine "dollah" beal is the lone junior. all year, the talk's been about how next year will be their year. all signs point to yes.

speaking of basketball, the coach of kentucky, billy gillespie, is an eejit. kentucky's not been winning as much as they should this year - based on the talent they have. patterson & meeks in particular are both exceptional players. so, the other day gillespie says to the press about kentucky's loss to lsu - he says that his players are too stupid to run the screen play he called for at the end of the game. in the first place, wtf? in the second place, if they really are so stupid, perhaps you should design some easier plays? in conclusion, eejit.

march forth!!

today while awaiting the vanpool, i was assaulted by a hobo. clearly he did not receive the "ace is queen of the hobos" memo. he came strolling up to my streetcorner and danced a little jig. kinda cute, so i smiled. then, he held out his hand. i kept my hands in my pockets and shook my head no. he wagged his hand and said "gimme fiiive". i shook my head & kept my hands in my pockets. he slapped at me and hit my arm. then, he started to walk away, turned back, and smacked me on the other arm. ::sigh::.... look, mr hoboman, i am your queen. i always smile at hobos and give them food. you are not supposed to hit your queen. get with the program.

for your viewing pleasure, a hobo who needs $4 karate lessons. i don't know how much karate you get for $4, but whatevs.

money talks, but it can't sing & dance, and it can't walk. okay, technically - money cannot talk. or, make sammiches. but, money can buy sammiches!!

firstly, in case you didn't know, today is square root day - 3/3/09. last one was 2/2/04. next one, 4/4/16. i think you get it.


setup: my child's grandfather likes to participate in her education by providing money. my child's father has a difficult time accepting this money b/c he sees it as some sort of charity to us.

convo:

ace - so, dad is giving us [insert amt here {no, i am not typing it in, you nosey parker!}]

mini-me's père - aww... we don't need it. we can make it fine without it. why is he doing that?? awww....

ace - he wishes to participate in mini-me's education, and this is his way of doing that. we will put it straight to tuition. it is like a pass-thru from him to the school. no worries. it is not like we are accepting money from him for ourselves.

[insert 10 mins]

mini-me's père - hey, we could use that money to buy a lawnmower.

ace - [insert deafening silence]


{i feel compelled to point out at this juncture that mini-me is not studying landscape architecture.}

facebooking it out of here

tired of fb. so tired of fb. culled my friends down to a mere 6, and you know who you are. probably won't be updating there much, but there are pix & notes & stuff there, and mini-me is there, so i am not 100% killing it off. i did not have many friends, so i unfriended like 30 people, and fb posted this on my page:

You're a top inviter
Thanks to you, many of your friends are now on Facebook. Use our simple tools to find and invite more of your friends.

HAHAHAH!!

wankers.

that'll teach me to leave all my miles in the 4pm-on-sunday basket

speedy called about 3:30 & said - okay, i am on my way to the gym. so, i was like, okay, i will see you there. and, then she called back in like 5 mins & said that she had been rear ended & had to wait on the cops to show up. well, sigh, sigh, sigh. i mean, i am sorry about her car and all, but what about my running? i headed outside & did 10 miles before the sun set. it got very cold & windy, and i nearly ran out of daylight, but i got it done goshdarnit. in conclusion, we went w/ junior & speedy for pizza, and if someone could explain to me what is going on with those two, i'd pay to listen.

the first of march

happy new month!

today we awoke to cold, slush, snow, mud, wind. speedy & i were supposed to go run outside in the morning, but she said she'd rather go inside in the afternoon. i said okay, but it's like having something hanging over me all day. turns out, i would rather go run in the morning.

like many folks, i enjoy the occassional glass of wine. the only place to get wine around here is the likker store. the likker store doesn't bother me, exactly, but i do feel a little out of place b/c i don't know much about wine. there's a sort of nicer likker store beside the publix where i shop, so that's where i usually buy wine, and i've asked the guys who work there for recommendations, and they really don't know much of anything - which is surprising b/c the place looks like the people who work there would know something. i started asking questions, and they got out a book. what is this, a liberry? i can get out a book. don't y'all know nuthin? so, anyway, i am already feeling a wee bit out of place going into a likker store, so i try to be extra careful about checking my hair & clothing. don't want to be that crazy person with the wacked out hair & underpants showing trying to buy some vino.

yesterday, vandy men beat south carolina in bball. in case you're not following things, that's an upset. vandy has had some good wins this year, but not enough. there's no way they'll be going to the big dance unless they win the conference tournament. they've got 0 seniors, so everyone will be back next year. if they play like they played last night, and play that way consistently, next year - they will be stellar. right now, we're watching ut play florida. ut's taken a quick lead. we shall see if they can maintain it.

::sigh:: is it time to go run yet? i am getting sleepy.