31 October 2011

res ipsa loquitur


i saved this for you because it's so neat how when you look at it upside down, it says "less lo". haha! less lo! haha! haha!

ha.

yeah, okay. I KNOW. shut up.



look! jam free paper! that's good cause the last thing you want in your copier paper is the jellied fruitstuffs. ew. sticky.




i took this picture in traffic at great risk of life and limb, just to show you how this car is a digital file.

if you don't get it, i cannot help you.



did i show you this one already? did i? well, guess what, here it is again.

STILL FUNNY.



how to look slimmer in your jeans...



...for starters, spit out that hallereen candy. SPIT IT OUT, FATTY!

also, your butt will look smaller if you take your hand out of your pocket.

29 October 2011

dis manibus

it's all hallows eve eve eve! the night before the night before the night before all hallows day. are you ready?

there are a lot of holy days and celebrations around the world and through history. it's all there, in wikipedia. reading about all hallows day leads to all souls day to the day of the dead to parentalia. parentalia is an ancient roman holiday dedicated to veneration of ancestors. sounds like a made-up word, don't you think, but obviously we get our word "parent" from the latin "parent". or, you know, something like that.

parentalia was a 9-day festival in rome's "classical" period. [i am not all that familiar with the periods of roman history, but i believe the classical came between the country & western and the hip-hop.] for 9 days these people celebrated the dead, visited the cemetery, ate cake, and drank wine. 9 days of cake! 9 days is longer than the dratted dragon boat festival that closes down every chinese vendor i deal with at work and must be accommodated in purchase orders. clearly the romans didn't have contracts to fulfill.

the 9-day festival of parentalia ended with feralia, a public holy day wherein the caked-up masses made offerings to the "manes" which in this case the english word for lionhair is not derived from the latin in which manes were malevolent spirits of the dead. so, parentalia was for honoring ancestors and feralia was for placating manes. all this contributed to keeping the dead in their graves and not out roaming about causing mayhem.

parentalia took place in february, so it's not closely related datewise with samhain, an ancient nordic-celtic festival celebrating the dead and placating their angry spirits, which takes place around all hallows eve. it's samhain that the christians commandeered when creating the all hallows and all souls celebrations.

however, we do practice placation of potentially angry spirits in february, specifically on the 14th.

28 October 2011

they have magnetic poetry online. huh. who knew? but it's not really magnetic, is it?

27 October 2011

if you want to see the pictures, you can google 'em up for yourselves. feel free to disagree with me, but don't expect me to care if you do.

have you heard about that group at ohio university that's protesting hallereen costumes? they are saying that many costumes are racist. the theme of the protest is "we're a culture, not a costume" and the students have made posters of themselves holding photos of costumes they think are inappropriate.

for instance, a young african american girl is depicted holding a photo of what appears to be a white girl in brown makeup and hip-hop couture (wife beater, golden bling chains, side-slanted trucker cap [which begs the question why are trucker caps hip-hop anyway??]) holding a drink in her one hand, flashing a gang'esque sign with her other hand. in the picture, a boy wearing completely white makeup is either dancing with the brown-slathered white girl or is preparing to bite her neck, but either way, he's very predatory. the captions on the posters are "we're a culture, not a costume" and under that "this is NOT who i am and this is NOT okay".

um... what?

what is the culture she is concerned about here? hip-hop party hos? mud daubed tri-delts? truckers whose caps have been commandeered by a society quite divergent from their own? vampires?

and, if this is NOT "who she is" then what the hell's the problem?

you're a culture, not a costume.
this is a costume, not your culture.

seriously. get over yourselves.




25 October 2011

sometimes history doesn't precisely repeat itself, but it sort of rhymes.

A - boy
B - girl
C - boy
D - boy
E - girlboy
F - boy
G - boy
H - boy
I - boy
J - boy
K - girl
L - boygirl
M - boy
N - boy
O - girl
P - girl
Q - girl
R - girl
S - girl
T - boy
U - boy
V - boy
W - boy
X - girl
Y - girl
Z - girl

as you can see, there aren't many girl letters as boys and most of them are piled up at the end, but that's just how it is.

1 - boy
2 - girl
3 - girl
4 - boy
5 - girl
6 - boy
7 - girl
8 - boy
9 - boy
10 - boy

girls do a bit better in the number area, a bit closer to half.

red - girl
orange - girl
yellow - girl
green - boy
blue - boy
indigo - boy
violet - boy

more of the colours are boys.

carrots are girls. potatoes are boys. celery, boy. lettuce, girl. peanut butter is a boy. jelly is a girl. milk, butter, cheese, all girls. cottage cheese is a boy. bacon is a boy. turkey and chicken are girls. roast beef is a boy. the kitchen is a girl. the bathroom is a boy. pine trees are boys. magnolias are girls. brick and board are boys. glass is a girl. zippers are girls. buttons are boys.

i could go on. it's all there. everything's a boy or a girl. you see it too, right?

oh, and... 1 is blue and 2 is red and 3 is yellow and 4 is green and 5 is blue and 6 is blue and 7 is red and 8 is orange and 9 is green and 10 is pink. A is blue and B is red and C is yellow and D is green and E is green and F is blue and G is green and H is yellow.... and, you know... et cetera.

you see it too, right?

right?

24 October 2011

ke$ha could tell 'em what's gonna happen next.

there's a volcano in bolivia which's expanding at the rate of about 1.5cm per year. as volcanoes go, that's volcanic growth. this particular rapidly-expanding volcano has been dormant for 300,000 years. you know, give or take. scientists noticed the growth, which reaches out in a 43 mile circle, five years ago, using satellite pics. the scientists only have 20 years of satellite data, so they're using geologic, GPS, and gravity data to determine what's the happs. the fiery hill has been dormant 300,000 years and the scientists have determined that the volcanoes in this area blow once every... 300,000 years. they say that this one is not in imminent danger of blowing. now, i am not a scientist, but my personal advice to the bolivians is to get the hell out of there. but, again, not a scientist.

23 October 2011

if you want to measure a man's success, don't count his money, count his happiness.


from NPR:

On a recent visit to McDonald's, Christie Coleman, a mother of two boys, was surprised to find that her kids' Happy Meals included fewer french fries and something new: apple slices.

Coleman says her boys are extremely picky eaters, so she was not happy with the change.

"When they do want to eat, they will eat all of their fries, and I don't think that they should get 15 or 20 less fries because McDonald's thinks that they need to eat apples as well," she says.


yo. christie. if you don't like the happy meal, DON'T BUY IT. sheesh. how hard is that? this is a free country. you are free to purchase what you want. mcdonald's is free to sell what it wants. the story goes on to say that christie thinks her choices have been taken away. it's just one semantic from saying christie's rights are being infringed. what the hell have we come to? gah! there is no "right to 35 fries" guaranteed by the constitution. you've got the right to pursue happiness, chris. mcdonald's doesn't make you happy? leave!

believe you me, mcdonald's will notice your leaving much more than they'll notice your complaining.

the market will decide if mcdonald's has made the right choice, and by "right" i mean "profitable". don't fool yourself into thinking mcdonald's cares about our health. HO! HO! HO! mcdonald's cares about profits. mcdonald's cares about paying stockholders. mcdonald's cares about selling stuff people will buy. the only reason they've put apples into happy meals is in hopes of selling more happy meals. if putting arsenic in the burgers would sell more burgers, mcdonald's would be piling in the ol' poison powder.

corporations are not people, and believe you me, the vast majority of the world's population doesn't give a ratsass about you. being as corporations are not even people, don't expect them to have emotive output in your direction. corporations are answerable to stockholders, stockholders want payoffs. it's not more complicated than that, nor should it be.

it's so simple that people just miss it. you don't like something? don't buy it. if enough people don't like it, then it will not be profitable, and it will be discontinued. if enough people buy it, it will remain available. majority rules, see? if people stop buying happy meals because they don't like the apples being in there, then mcdonald's will stop producing happy meals with apples.

see, christie dear, the happy meal is about mcdonald's happiness, not yours.

22 October 2011

it's a bit chilly for sitting about, out of doors.

i bought a pair of shoes today. not because i have the money, which really i do not, and not because they are the pair i have sought for so long, because really they are not. they are in fact doubly unsatisfactory - i could not afford them and they aren't precisely what i was looking for. what they are is -- they are a good fit, they are comfortable, and they are compatible with many clothes i own. i can see them becoming a somewhat go-to type of shoe, however at the same time, i can see them sitting unworn for weeks on end whilst i completely forget that i own them. they are comfortable enough to be worn every day and they go with enough of my wardrobe to be worn every day... yet... they are simply another pair in a litany of not-quite-rightness. why do i do this? why do i acquire the not-quite-rightness? it's not like i will be able to make these shoes into the right thing. firstly, i am not a cobbler, and secondly, i am not a blackberry. HAHA. get it? blackberry cobbler?? ah... good stuff. okay, srsly, i am not a cobbler. i cannot change the shoes. pluswise, they are not even the correct materials. what am i thinking? i know, right? *sigh* i am thinking here's a quality pair of shoes from a reputable manufacturer made following a model of stylish comfort. what's that ace? what did you say? did you say you bought sensible shoes? sensible?? but... but... i was acting so logical. dependable. practical. acceptable, respectable, presentable - a vegetable! oh, now there are times, when all the world's asleep, the questions run too deep, where are the shoes i seek?

shut up, you ninny. they're still at the store. take the sensible shoes back and get the ones you really want. what's your damage? jeez.

21 October 2011

smoke signals

running is rage and joy
catharsis and madding
pain and release
freedom and obsession

running is my life partner
and my mistress
my forbidden pleasure
and my revealed pride
my source of strength
and a poison in my blood

running will be the death of me
and when i run, i am most alive

well, here it is friday.

and vacation is over and what do i have to show for it? jeez.

finished reading jane eyre. took a day trip. got a pedicure. spent a half day with my old man's mom. went for a long walk and a couple short runs. made some banana bread. went to the grocery. i didn't clean the house, or clean out my closet, or balance the checkbook, or anything else really productive or much to speak of really (besides the day trip which was totally spot on) and so today i am a complete wreck of anxiety for having wasted an entire week. this is what i get for going into it without a plan. jeez. nothing like a vacation to transform me into a complete hot mess.

i am going for a run. you're on your own.

20 October 2011

you can't start a fire if you ain't got no fuel. (and, a match or other means of igniting it.) (and, a place for fire to burn safely, smokey bear).

my recent running career has been beset by setbacks. i've been sick or injured one way or another off and on for about 5 years now. before that i was simply a true faddist hobbyjogger so i wasn't pushing any limits. it's the limit-pushing that leads to trouble. long about 5 years ago i decided i wanted to train for the marathons i was running, and that meant running more mileage more days more consistently. to make a really massively extensive story incredibly condensed - i either discovered and/or developed asthma and i discovered a significant leg length discrepancy. neither of these are the sort of condition you can rub some dirt on and just run on through. left untreated, the asthma will stop you like a noose binding your neck to a freight train moving in the opposite direction. the leg length thing is sneaky because you can run on it for a long time and not really know, but the muscle compensation that is required to undertake this endeavor will eventually collapse. oh, and you might get a stress fracture, which should really be a clue to either yourself or a medical professional.

speaking of medical professionals, just quickly and with all due respect, there are some suckwad doctors out there. some of them have serious compassion deficit disorder and some of them may "care" but they don't "understand". they're not always listening or, reading, in the case of notes sent through the online portal my medical providers of choice so wonderfully provide (seriously, online portal = good stuff). sometimes a doctor will reply with a reply that makes you go "huh?" and wonder did they even read the message. i credit a rheumatologist with solving the asthma riddle and a physical therapist for correctly treating the leg length thing and neither was by any means the first to give it a go yet both were spot on in a way that makes me wonder why it took so long to get to what seemed so obvious in the end.

anyway, so what.

now, here i am running again for the first time in months and i am torn between the joy of doing all i can and the fear of injury. the world could end tomorrow (or, i believe 12 may 2012 is the correct date) so what i am saving up for? run today for tomorrow we die! on the other hand, too much too soon and i'll be out of the game and then tomorrow becomes today and i cannot carpe the freaking diem because i am on the bench. the trick is to do just enough, to walk (or... run) that fine line between boredom and injury. do enough to delight without doing enough to injure. but, where's that line? i have not yet been successful in my attempts to locate said line, and i am beginning to think it's simply imaginary and possibly different for every person, and if that's the case, then with my finely-tuned inability to discern my own limits in any aspect of my life, well i am just screwed.

19 October 2011

on 19 october in the year...

439 - king gaiseric leads the east germanic tribe known as the vandals to take carthage in north africa.

2003 - user maakkleine posts a positive review of the album "internet dating superstuds" by the punk rock band the vandals.

2011 - the idaho vandals are picked to finish fifth in the western athletic conference preseason coaches and media men's basketball polls.

1386 – the universität heidelberg holds its first lecture and thereby becomes the first german university.

1806 - wilhelm friedrich applies for a marriage license in heidelberg in baden in germany.

2009 - litho press company upgrades its plateroom and bindery with technology from heidelberger druckmaschinen.

1466 – the thirteen years war ends with the second treaty of thorn.

1984 - siouxsie and the banshees release the EP "the thorn".

2008 - podcaster thorn posts episode 5 of "spirit" in which witch and medium medusa joins thorn in a powerful discussion about the living and the dead.

1844 - elizabeth nantz marries john shell in harlan county, kentucky.

2007 - wikicommons user terryjoyce posts an aerial shot of shell haven.

2011 - twitter user @sea_shell celebrates a (happy) birthday.

18 October 2011

just because it's not a new song, doesn't make it any less sad.

i was trying to find something interesting to talk to you about so i was looking around at various news sources, and on the BBC i found this story about stolen spanish babies. sounds intriguing, no? yes.

back in the day, spain was ruled by an evil dictator named francisco franco. americans can't really comprehend dictatorship because it's not any part of who we are or what we do here. in america, you can basically do whatever you want whenever you want wherever you want. well, except pray in school. can't do that. but, anything else goes. in dictatorships, not only can you not do what you DO want, if you do what the ruler DOES NOT want - you will be punished. punishment which be anything from personal sanction to death. there is no plea bargain. there's not even a chance to give your side of the story. break a rule? BAM. dead.

okay, so, point number one about franco --->> strict in a way you should thank those lucky stars you're not allowed to pray to in school, that you will never understand.

point number two, franco was a fervent supporter of the catholic church. not like, "oh, i go some wednesdays and most sundays and if there's a potluck i will stay for that afterwards." more like, "if you don't believe what i believe about church, i will kill you." which, knowing the wee bit that i know about god in general and catholicism in particular, strikes me as somewhat ironic. anyhoo - the catholic church (not the little-c "catholic means everywhere" church, rather the big-C Catholic church, but i don't hang much with the bigs here, so you're just going to have to imaginate.) had a largish role in the franco régime. and, by largish, i mean there were laws forcing, enforcing, and reinforcing catholic values.

one thing catholics are pretty set against is the whole out-of-wedlock sexual relations thing. well, they were in franco's time, at least. i am not so sure where the pope stands on anything nowadays. also, at least in the past, the contraceptive thing was a huge no-no for catholics. for the confused and lustful young catholic folk, the choice was fairly much sin this way or sin that way or sin both ways. lots of couples chose to sin only in the sexual relations way and opted not to sin in the contraceptive sense. in case you aren't completely familiar with the mechanics, the outcome of this combination is unwed mommies.

the catholic church recognizes the validity of one and only one unwed mother, and her, well now, they venerate her. but to the rest of the unwed masses they are not quite so friendly. this puts an unwed mother living under a religious dictatorship at a bit of a disadvantage. starting sometime in the late 1930s and continuing on up to franco's death in 1975 and beyond that into the 1990s, these unwed babies were removed from their unwed mommies and turned over to married couples.

how did this happen exactly? well, apparently and according to the BBC report, the unwed mothers went to hospital to have their babies and left hospital without them. the hospitals were run by priests to whom answered the nuns and the doctors. (the nuns acted the role we now assign to nurses, although our modern day nurses are doubtless better-trained.) okay, so... what do we have? a scared and guilty unwed mother combined with authoritative doctors, nuns, maybe a priest thrown in. child is born and immediately taken away by nuns. later, a nun comes and tells the mother that her baby is dead. and, that's it goodbye pack your bag out the door. NO QUESTIONS!

the practice went on, as i said, for decades, and over time it was expanded beyond unwed mothers to include all sorts of families the government-church or church-government deemed unsuitable. the babies were at first given into and later sold into more suitable "approved" families. officials involved with the cases believe that up to 300,000 babies were removed from their birth parents. as investigations continue and more cases come to light, it is believed that the evidence will point to franco's people removing babies from dissident familes and giving them to facist supporters so that they could be raised in an approved manner. (durr.)

how could this happen? firstly, a technicality - in spain, neither the mother's nor the father's name is required on a birth certificate so a baby can essentially be declared an orphan by the doctor who signs the form. secondly, the government believed they were entitled to make these choices, a common attitude in the dictatorship type of government. finally, the parents of these stolen babies were in no position to argue. a technicality allows the strong to exploit the weak in the name of "right" as defined by the philosophy held by the strong.

just because it's not a new song, doesn't make it any less sad.



from the BBC report:
The scale of the baby trafficking was unknown until this year, when two men - Antonio Barroso and Juan Luis Moreno, childhood friends from a seaside town near Barcelona - discovered that they had been bought from a nun. Their parents weren't their real parents, and their life had been built on a lie.

Juan Luis Moreno discovered the truth when the man he had been brought to call "father" was on his deathbed.

"He said, 'I bought you from a priest in Zaragoza'. He said that Antonio had been bought as well."

The pair were hurt and angry. They say they felt like two dogs that had been bought at a pet shop. An adoption lawyer they turned to for advice said he came across cases like theirs all the time.

The pair went to the press and suddenly the story was everywhere. Mothers began to come forward across Spain with disturbingly similar stories.

17 October 2011

books 2011



currently:
the disappearing spoon
sam kean

complete:
jane eyre
charlotte brontë
hp7
[jk rowling]
hp6
[jk rowling]
hp5
[jk rowling]
hp4
[jk rowling]
hp3
[jk rowling]
hp2
[jk rowling]
hp1
[jk rowling]
the yiddish policemen's union
[michael chabon]
american gods
[neil gaiman]
land of a hundred wonders
[lesley kagen]
swim to me
[betsy carter]
princess academy
[shannon hale]
the angels game
[carlos ruiz zafon]
they almost always come home
[christina ruchti]
lifeguard training manual
[red cross]
the broker
[john grisham]
queste
[angie sage]
the things we do for love
[kristin hannah]
physik
[angie sage]

16 October 2011

and so, it is october.

i voted in the first election for which i was eligible and have voted in every election, in every primary, and on every referendum since. in america, we get to have a say in what goes on, and i take that seriously. i would estimate that i spend an above-average amount of time researching candidates and investigating topics, but that's only because most people spend no time at all. i do read newspapers, both actual paper and online, and i consume both television and radio newscasts.

it's not only politics and current events that i process. sports, health, lifestyles, culture, technology, food, science, fashion, nature, philosophy, art, entertainment, et cetera and so on and so forth - it's all there. i research some through personal experience, some vicariously. i wouldn't characterize myself as a spontaneous storyteller, but if you ask, i will tell you something relevant about most anything.

i harvest content, grind it in the mill of my mind, mix it with other content from the pantry shelves of my intellect, bake it in my thoughtfulness, and produce a loaf of opinion. that loaf contains whole grains and refined sugars, sweet spots and sourdough. some of the lumps are weighty chunks of fruit, some are simply nutty. but it is my loaf, and i will slice it and offer you a piece to share. so bring your loaf, and join me at table. slice your loaf and offer me a piece to share, and we will spread the slices with the sweet compote of friendship... or perhaps the adquate butter of mutual toleration... and we will each consume the opinion of the other, take sustanance from it, and grow stronger.

15 October 2011

s.a.t.u.r.d.a.y. night! s.a.t.u.r.d.a.y. night! ....bay city rollers. that 45 was the first i owned, a gift from the crown prince.

i will be on vacation next week, but it is currently the weekend before vacation, so that doesn't count as part of vacation because i don't normally work on the weekend. vacation is time off regular workdays. what do you do on vacation? go somewhere? work around the house? the problem i have with vacation is anticipating its being over. it hasn't even started and i'm already regretting how short it was. i don't have any plans, really. might take a day trip. might clean the house. might make some banana bread. i would like to spend some time just sitting and reading. maybe line up some blog topics. do a little shopping. take a long walk or two. i don't want to to anything, really, but i don't want to do nothing, either.

14 October 2011

is this any way to start a vacation?

my right leg is one inch shorter than my left, and after years of stumping merrily around on this lopsided pair, i came up lame last fall and have been working thru it since. i have been walking miles and miles and miles until this week i finally felt strong enough to try some runnish jogging. sunday nite i had a soccer game, then monday, tuesday, wednesday all three i went for a sort of more runningish type activity than i had been doing for months. yesterday i didn't go because my leg was hurting a wee bit, and today i was back out there for a walk. all that is good, fine, and well. it's the type of thing that's encouraging to folks who are open to encouragement. having traversed many pits and hurdles the past few years, i am not one to feel particularly encouraged. another injury, illness, condition of some sort is waiting right around the corner. enjoy it while it lasts. gather ye rosebuds while ye may. just don't expect it to be around for long. so, right, anyway, whatever, that brings me to my point which is that i am in a state of growing agitation which i attribute to the additional exercise because while scaled up levels of activity would for some people bring a relaxed sense of tiredness, for me the increase in output engenders a state of the fine fidgets.

13 October 2011

i am not sure how this came out or if i made my point, because there's not really enough mental space here to think.

it doesn't bother me to have disagreements. it's not the disagreeing that is disagreeable. i'd go so far as to say that the disagreement is agreeable. why? because it's through the disagreement that i learn. how can you learn from agreement? you cannot. you can receive validation, but you cannot learn. learning, by definition, requires exposure to ideas that are different than those that you already hold.

i don't automatically disagree with things i don't know. learning does not by default involve disagreement. conversly, disagreement doesn't always involve learning about or even hearing or being exposed to new concepts. i can disagree with concepts with which i am familiar. but, say i disagree with a familiar concept, and then someone who espouses the viewpoint in support of that concept comes around preaching on it, i will listen. why not listen? i might learn something. it's possible that i am not completely informed. it's not going to hurt me to listen.

it's not going to hurt me to change my mind, even. my opinions are not who i am. they are part of who i am, but my opinioins don't define me. i define my opinions. i am in control.

being exposed to viewpoints with which i disagree is a good way to learn, and having a disagreement can be civil. you can exchange ideas, listen, learn, perhaps modify your opinion, perhaps not. disagreement can go smoothly. it's when folks won't listen, when they shut down the opposition, that disagreement becomes disagreeable. it's being shut out, not listened to, that is intolerable.

12 October 2011

pan am

watching the show pan am and it's amazing how relatively recently events took place... i mean, this show is set in 1963. one of the young ladies who is a stewardess was 3 years old when the nazis invaded france. when was that... like... 1943 or something? so, like 20 years previous? she's 23? so young. anyway, from ww2 to kennedy's assassination is just no time at all, at all. and these stewardesses in their gloves and hats, they're so classic, so old school. i wasn't there and i don't know what happened. by the time i came along, things were already changing. i do know how it is on teevee and how they can make things look different than they were - romanticised, glowing, rosy, simple. they were only 20 years from ww2 in 1963. it's been such a long, long time since then.

11 October 2011

elvis called it "golden handcuffs" which while it may be an adequate description of five weeks vacation... is a wee bit slutty.

i am vaguely dissatisfied with my job. partially i am bored. partially i feel unappreciated. partially i am trapped.

i am bored because it's autumn and i am always bored in the autumn, looking for the new school year to start, looking for some new project on which to apply my brain. i am bored because the crown prince is getting laid off at the end of the month. while getting laid off is supremely sucky on the one hand... on the other hand it's a clear bright wide open clean slate of sky waiting for the skywriter of your soul to blast out a new message. suddenly, you HAVE TO find another job, by which of course i mean, you GET TO. you have the ultimate permission to seek new employment. i am bored because mini-me has a new job in a new city which is a double-whammy of enviable newness. i am bored because elvis is applying to law school, and part of why he can apply to law school is that he works from home, on a relatively flex schedule. i am bored because i spend hours every day simply being present at the office. and, by "spend" i mean "waste".

i feel unappreciated because it's my nature to feel unappreciated. all modesty aside, i am brilliant, a certified genius. i'm diligent and dependable. i show up and i work hard. the work i do is high quantity and high quality. i am a valuable employee at any time, but especially at this time when employers are soaking employees completely dry, wringing us for all we're worth... because i am worth more than others. egotistical? yeah, sure, whatever. unappreciated? definitely.

i am trapped because i am the benefit bearer. if there's one thing a person cannot do without these days, it's medical benefits. we have a pretty good program, i guess. i am not a shopper-arounder. they offer a package, i take it. body, teeth, eyes, mind, it's all in there. good, fine. i can go to the doctor when i want, if i am sick or not, if i just want to chat up the doctor, i can go chat up the doctor. i would be an idiot to throw that away over a little boredom, and as already established, i am by no means an idiot, so the only logical conclusion is that i stay right where i am.

* sigh *

10 October 2011

clacking around in wooden shoes

i wanted to make some sort of statement on the occupy wall street phenom, but the only thing i can come up with is "wtf??" which is sadly unoriginal. seriously, though, wtf? i have seen the occupiers say into televised microphones such things as "if the rich people would share, we could all live in prosperity." or when asked if the 1% offered them a job, would they take it - "no!" in conclusion, wtf?

unless i am gravely mistaken, these protestors aren't the poor, downtrodden masses. these protestors are the bored, overeducated masses. kids with college degrees dumped into a collapsed job market where they cannot find work. or, shall i say, will not find work. because i look around my town, and i see 'help wanted' signs in the windows of retail and restaurant, bank and billiard hall. (okay, not billiard hall. who says billiard hall, anyway? it was allitertive. poetic license. you get the point.) point being - you want a job, you can get a job. c'mon. srsly. you might have to (OMG!) move to another geographical location or (double OMG!) take a job that pays less than you thought you'd make or (treble OMG!) take a job that is outside your chosen field of study.

and in case you don't know how it works, if you want a share of the prosperity pie, all you have to do is purchase one. it's called, interestingly enough, a SHARE and if you purchase shares, you get to share in the profit (or... loss) of the business in which you have a share. you put something in, you get something out. i'd venture to guess many of the college educations being squandered in the gutters of wall street these past five weeks were funded by dividends on the very shares that are the foundation of the system these kids seem so very mitten-brainedly to simply not comprehend at all, at all.

go ahead. tell me i don't understand. i double dog dare you. kindly remember that we are not speaking of the actual disenfranchised here. we are speaking of the occupy wall streeters.

09 October 2011

three things about food

What's the oldest known dessert? According to a new book by author Michael Krondl, it's a fruitcake-like recipe from ancient Mesopotamia.

fruitcake! i am a fruitcake fan. i know most people think they're not fruitcake fans, but i believe it's because they haven't had good fruitcake. my personal favorite is the claxton. yes, it's storebought. i haven't had a homemade that's better, but years ago, someone at work made one that wasn't "cake" per se, but some sort of cakeless fruitcake. that was good. not as good as a claxton, of course.






today at the frys.com golf tournament, a fan ran onto the 7th green and yelled "tiger!" (at tiger woods, who was on the green at the time) and threw a hot dog at him. A Hot Dog. tiger was putting at the time and says he barely noticed, which is a laudable amount of focus. why are the marshalls all the time telling everyone to hush and hush and more hush if running onto the green yelling the golfer's name whilst projecting foodstuffs his way doesn't distract him?




the world championship chili cookoff of the international chili society (founded 1967) was won in 2010 by thomas h. hoover, jr, and his 2010 happy trails chili.

Ingredients:
2 ¾ lbs. tri-tip sirloin beef cut in 3/8” cubes
1 15 oz. can beef broth
1 8 oz. can chicken broth
1 8 oz. can tomato sauce
1 T. granulated onion
1 T. granulated garlic
1 T. pasilla chili powder
4 T. Gebhardt chili powder
3 T. California chili powder
1 T. New Mexico chili powder
1 T. cumin
1 fresh minced Serrano chili pepper
2 t. salt.

Instructions:
Brown meat, drain fat and juice, add to pot. Add both broths and tomato sauce and simmer ½ hour. Add other ingredients and simmer covered until meat is tender. Add 2 T. Happy Trails Chili Seasoning Mix and simmer 5 minutes. Check for salt.

08 October 2011

the disappearing spoon

i'm about a third of the way into the disappearing spoon by sam kean, and i have been pleased to find that it's a very good book. having both spoon and jane eyre going at the same time has been a bit of a challenge. not that one would ever confuse the plot or characters of the two, but constantly facing a choice of what to read, i find myself reaching for the fiction with a pathetic predictability.

i picked up spoon today for the first time in... well... in a few days. i had last left off in the middle of a chapter, interrupted by life in some way, and didn't remember that until i opened it again today. i was anxious that i would not remember my place and quite pleasantly surprised to find that i did. i credit mr kean for that, as his writing style is straightforward and approachable. he marches through the facts with an understandable rhythm and just the right touch of humor. he's got an unobtrusive yet thorough way of reminding you who and what he is talking about, without causing you to feel you've wasted his time. in short, mr kean is a superb teacher-narrator.

are you interested in science at all? most people would say, "no, not really" but read this excerpt and tell me you're not interested:

Mortified, Berkeley retracted the claim for 118. Ninov was fired, and the Berkeley lab suffered major budget cuts, decimating it. To this day, Ninov denies that he faked any data--although, damningly, after his old German lab double-checked his experiements there by looking into old data files, it also retracted some (though not all) of Ninov's findings. Perhaps worse, American scientists were reduced to traveling to Dubna to work on heavy elements. And there, in 2006, an international team announced that after smashing ten billion billion calcium atoms into a (gulp) californium target, they had produced three atoms of element 118. Fittingly, the claim for element 118 is contested, but if it holds up--and there's no reason to think it won't--the discovery would erase any chance of "ghiorsium" appearing on the periodic table. The Russians are in control, since it happened at their lab, and they're said to be partial to "flyorium".

al ghiorso! georgy flyorov! berkeley! dubna! ten billion billion calcium atoms used to create only three of 118! so many atoms, dollars, and years went into these experiements. i am continually surprised by the recentness of discoveries documented in the book. 2006? that's only 5 years ago! (i know, right?)

ninov had tried to create 118 by firing krypton into lead, and found that it would work if you faked some of the data. physicists, unlike novelists, frown on faking data. the krypton->lead idea was proposed by a theoretical physicist from poland. i shall close this post by not making a snide remark about nationality and its relation to his bright idea.

07 October 2011

what's wrong with that pillow?

we were living by the lake so i couldn't have been 12 yet, but i think it was the last year we were there, which would make me close to that. like, probably 11. i was an active girl scout -- yet another in the litany of activities that went by the wayside when we moved. that year, the troop was hosting a halloween party. we'd spent a voluminous amount of time planning the decorations, the food, the entertainment. it was gonna be great. for myself, i had this stellar devil costume - red leotard and tights, red tulle skirt, some sort of red glittery hair thing. i had a vague idea that it was sexy, but didn't really understand. anyway, this party was going to be spectaculous. at least, that was the plan. the reality was that i contracted an intestinal virus and spent that halloween alternately puking and sleeping.

06 October 2011

me so busy

wake up. get out of bed. take a shower. dress. make lunch. eat breakfast. check email. read newspaper. finish breakfast. wash dishes. brush teeth. fix hair. put on shoes. pack gym bag. gather lunch, gym bag, commuter coffee, phone, keys, netbook, wallet, chapstik. put stuff in car and get in car. open garage. drive out. tune radio. drive to work. park car. place sunshade in windshield. exit car. gather belongings from trunk. lock car. walk across parking lot. use access key to enter fitness center. cross locker room to locker. work combination, open lock. place gym bag inside locker. close locker, engage lock. exit locker room. enter stairwell. descend stairs to office area. cross office area to enter assigned cubicle. place knapsack on desk. log into computer system. remove lunch from knapsack, place in mini-fridger. work 4 hours, run, eat lunch, work 4 more hours, gather belongings, exit building, enter car, drive home, the end.

yeah, lost the momentum there a wee little bit.

05 October 2011

4000 words and a few more


fate of his seat? i didn't know it was his SEAT that we were all so worried about. HAHAHAHA!!!! okay, yes, this is very old but i just found it in my email, so shut up and laugh.





this rich spanish lady is 85 and her new husband is like 60 or something. you can tell just by looking at his face that he married for True Love. sweet, isn't it? yeah.





okay, i saw this sign while i was out runwalking today and i would like to know how they can say "welcome" and then "meet or beat policy"? i mean, i am a little shy sometimes, and so you're saying if i don't introduce myself and shake your hand, you will sock me in the noggin? is that really welcoming?? i don't think so.





no. crinkly-bag-at-the-movies tiger will not be missed.

04 October 2011

in the city

this town sucks* at being a city. public transportation sucks. downtown amenities suck. it's all spread out and suburban and very much requiring of a personal vehicle. now, i have just previously yesterday in this space covered the fact that i enjoy driving myself to work, so let's try not to get confused, okay? my enjoyment in driving myself to work is relative to the other choices. if i could get on a train and clickity-clack into the city, that would be ideal. if you live 20 driving mins from your office in NYC or in chi-town or virtually any real city, you don't take your car to work. you get on a train or a bus. if you live 20 walking mins from work, you probably walk many days. this city is trying. developers are creating urban living spaces but that's not enough. you cannot have urban living without urban shopping and i am not talking urban outfitters, i am talking walgreens and piggly wiggly. if you reside in a real city, you don't have to get in your car to purchase tampons and bacon bits.

there's a coffee shop kitty-corner across burdock's pasture (haha, little AHM jokie there)... kitty-corner across the parking lot from my office. i like to go to that coffee shop every morning and spend a ludricrous amount of money on a cup of coffee because besides the fact that the coffee is actually very good, going over there feels cityish. walking across the parking lot and then crossing a 3-way stop intersection, i am in the midst of a smallish bit of "traffic" and exposed to a smallish bit of sounds and smells of a "city". there's a ginormous construction project down the block that lends some distinctive busy-city noise - the beep-beep of trucks backing up, honking horns of cars navigating the construction zone, crash of dump trucks dumping, and lots of other mechanical and people noises that form a backdrop of cityish sound. crossing the parking lot, i can smell wet pavement and exhaust and a whiff of the dumpster. yes, i can hear you thinking i am crazy, but those are city smells that i savor. closer to the coffee shop, the coffee blends into the air.

i push into the shop and the vaguely hippyesque staff greets me. they all have long hair - guys and girls - and make equal use of kerchiefs and beads. they are friendly. they know me. they don't have a loyalty program, but because i asked about it, they started one. whoever rings up my coffee draws a picture on the coffee sleeve, and i bring back the sleeve until there are 9 pictures, and i get the tenth cup free. today, the guy had his hair all down and flowy (probably a health code violation) and he drew a little doggie face on the coffee sleeve as i explained that yesterdays "mark" was the date, and i had to write it in because the guy working there didn't believe me about the "program" and flowy-hair said that's probably because i am the only one they do that for.

i enjoy my walk back over to the office. no, this town is not a city, but it's got potential and could get there with just a little more effort.


*i don't like the word "sucks" because it sucks as a word and reflects a sucky vocabulary; however, in this case it seemed to fit the bill.

03 October 2011

drive yourself insane tonight, it's not that far away, and i just filled up your tank earlier today

every day this week butcept friday is drive-yourself day in carpool. it's nothing against my carpool buddy, but i am a fan of driving myself. being in a carpool is panning out to be a much better way to garner drive-yourself days than being in a vanpool ever was. since i first started living in this house and working in the city, i have been ridesharing - either carpooling or vanpooling. it's not even that far - just 20 mins - but gas is dear and sharing saves the environment, not to mention wear & tear on the ol' slingshot. pluswise for the most part the companionship is fairly allright. i mean, that one vanpool was pretty bad and got worse right at the end where they kicked me off for being on crutchers and asking to be dropped off closer than 1/4 mile from my building. missed my chance to sue on the grounds of discrimination against a cripple, based on the ADA, seeing as how our tax dollars subsidized that vanpool. yeah, i missed my chance to make a big old stink. but other than that the ridesharing's been okay, fine, allright, whatever. it's not as fun as driving myself, but it's not that big of a deal.

so, today was drive-yourself day, and i thought i would listen to NPR a while and collect some good stories to share with you, and i turned it on but i didn't tune in (if you know what i mean), and now i couldn't tell you one dadgum thing they said to work or from work, not at all, because i was having so much fun driving myself, i forgot to pay attention.

02 October 2011

past the treeline

she opened the door, cautiously stepped out. not as cold as she'd feared, good, because she only had the one sweater and no coat. she closed the door gently and turned the key in the lock, pulled it, stowed it in her hip pocket. she stood for a moment, took a breath, waited for her eyes to adjust. the full moon high in the sky, and what it contributed in luminescence, it robbed in colour. the backyard was bathed in a dim grey glow that slowly gave up objects: the magnolia bush, the swingset, the patchy garden, the tree line. when she could see to the edge of the property, she hitched up her knapsack and started walking. the grass was wet and soon so were her shoes, socks, feet... soon wet and soon cold. she contented herself thinking about the dry socks in her pack and the sunshine that would greet her in a few hours. she passed the treeline and kept on walking.

01 October 2011

why can't blogger ever remember where i put my pictures?

as a general rule, boys who play sports generally seek individual glory, generally speaking. (this is a generalization.) girls who play sports seek team glory. (another generalization.) the point is that coaching girls and coaching boys is different.

with boys, you appeal to their sense of self. you show a boy ways to gain personal growth and success in sport. the team is secondary to him, so in order to get him to contribute to the team, you remind him of his personal contribution. a starting position on varsity will be important to a boy because it communicates to the world his superiority, so a starting position on varsity would be a goal for a boy. when you coach boys in soccer, the challenge is getting them to ever pass the ball or acknowledge their teammates at all.

with girls, you appeal to their sense of team. you show a girl ways to gain team growth and success in sport. the self is secondary to her, so in order to get her to contribute to the team, you remind her that her contribution is one of many and that others are counting on her to do her part. a starting position on varsity will be important to a girl because it communicates to the world that she is part of a special unit, so a starting position on varsity would be a goal for a girl. when you coach girls in soccer, the challenge is getting them to ever take a shot or make an individual standout plays at all.

note that while both boys and girls will seek to play sports at a high level and both will seek varsity starting positions, the motivation for these same goals is quite different. that means the way you reach them, inspire them, coach them, is different. yes, these are generalizations and yes, they may even sound stereotypical, but it behooves a coach who seeks success to acknowledge that these generalities exist. as is the nature of generalities, there will be exceptions, and coaches ignore those exceptions to their detriment, but successful coaches integrate both the general case and the exception.