elvis called it "golden handcuffs" which while it may be an adequate description of five weeks vacation... is a wee bit slutty.

i am vaguely dissatisfied with my job. partially i am bored. partially i feel unappreciated. partially i am trapped.

i am bored because it's autumn and i am always bored in the autumn, looking for the new school year to start, looking for some new project on which to apply my brain. i am bored because the crown prince is getting laid off at the end of the month. while getting laid off is supremely sucky on the one hand... on the other hand it's a clear bright wide open clean slate of sky waiting for the skywriter of your soul to blast out a new message. suddenly, you HAVE TO find another job, by which of course i mean, you GET TO. you have the ultimate permission to seek new employment. i am bored because mini-me has a new job in a new city which is a double-whammy of enviable newness. i am bored because elvis is applying to law school, and part of why he can apply to law school is that he works from home, on a relatively flex schedule. i am bored because i spend hours every day simply being present at the office. and, by "spend" i mean "waste".

i feel unappreciated because it's my nature to feel unappreciated. all modesty aside, i am brilliant, a certified genius. i'm diligent and dependable. i show up and i work hard. the work i do is high quantity and high quality. i am a valuable employee at any time, but especially at this time when employers are soaking employees completely dry, wringing us for all we're worth... because i am worth more than others. egotistical? yeah, sure, whatever. unappreciated? definitely.

i am trapped because i am the benefit bearer. if there's one thing a person cannot do without these days, it's medical benefits. we have a pretty good program, i guess. i am not a shopper-arounder. they offer a package, i take it. body, teeth, eyes, mind, it's all in there. good, fine. i can go to the doctor when i want, if i am sick or not, if i just want to chat up the doctor, i can go chat up the doctor. i would be an idiot to throw that away over a little boredom, and as already established, i am by no means an idiot, so the only logical conclusion is that i stay right where i am.

* sigh *