in my junior high english class, we were required to memorize several poems. only a couple stuck with me and they're both appropriate for this day when we're specially focused on the hope for a world of peace & love. as hippy-dippy as it may sound, spending more time loving and less time hating really will make the world a better place. where to begin? with the kids. kids aren't born haters - adults teach them. hate is a sad legacy to leave your children.
this first poem is by countee cullen. i've edited it out of respect but i am sure you can figger it out. it just breaks my heart, poor sweet little boy on his trip to baltimore.
and this one by edwin markham explains in a few short words how to heal just such a situation. of course, you really can't expect an eight year old to do this. the poem has a simple sing-song nature, but it's really a note to grown ups.
he drew a circle to shut me out -
heretic, rebel, a thing to flout,
but love and i had the wit to win -
we drew a circle that took him in.
[edwin markham looks like he'd whip a heretic, not love one.] |
go bears! go jay cutler!
the average american eats 150lbs of white sugar per year. good lord. i don't add sugar to my food, so whereas i am sure there's a bunch of sugar already in my food, i would like to say that someone is eating a hella lotta sugar to take up my slack. sugar.com would like to warn you to be aware that artificial sweeteners aren't organic and that sugar doesn't make you fat (eating too much food makes you fat). also, this: sugar does not turn normal children into hyperactive ones. c'mon sugar.com. just because something is organic, this doesn't mean it's good for you. and, sure, sugar doesn't make you fat, but it's easy to consume a lot of calories in a small volume of sugary foods. i will grant you, sugar.com, that sugar doesn't turn normal kids into clinically hyperactive kids, but surgar does make normal kids hyper and hyperactive kids uncontrollable.
hockey talk
we've been to a couple hockey games this season, which is a couple more than we usually go to. it's not that we don't like hockey, we just don't usually think about going. we like sports and we watch a lot of sports on teevee, but we don't have season tickets to any sports. anyway, that's not really the point. the point is - hockey. hockey is graceful and powerful at the same time. the graceful part is big strong men skating fast, backwards, who stop on a dime and change direction. sometimes the way they are skating together makes it look like a choreographed piece. srsly. in soccer, we call it jockeying on defense - moving backwards, switching weight from side to side, staying between your man and the goal. i don't know what they call it in hockey but it's the same thing only really fast and smooth and with two guys moving the same way at the same time, it looks like a couples skate. then they cram their opponent into the wall and jerk off his helmet and sock him in the face. that's the powerful part. hah! of course fighting is not the only powerful part. the superfast skating and the slapshots are certainly powerful. one of the really interesting things to me is how the players move when they are basically sprinting down the ice holding their sticks. watch sometime and you'll see that the way their upper bodies move makes their hands turn over so the stick flashes back-front-back-front. then think about a relay runner holding a baton - it's a totally different motion. a runner's arms pump up & down, a hockey player's side to side. that completely fascinates me and i really need to know that you GET THIS. tell me you GET THIS! 
here we are at the end of another grueling 4-day work week.
The Stoics had a very dim view of the ability of the individual to change his life. The best that the individual can do is understand the unchangeable aspects of his nature and Nature at large and live according to them. This idea of living in accord with yourself is a humble one, and it lies at the core of Stoic philosophy. The self that Scout alludes to, then, is not some independently free will that invents itself and has only itself to blame for its sins. The Stoic self is a natural self, the self given to you by nature, that has its own form and purpose. The key to life is not to transform that self, but to live according to it. Harmony being the key concept. well, what do you know. i am a stoic. this description was written by jeff, who will sometimes post comments here, so if you want to know more about jeff or see more of the original post by scout that he references, well you can just toodle on down the page here and find some comment by jeff and follow the link to his blog. you are a big kid. you can handle it. anyway, back to this description of stoicism that i find so appealing. seems that according to this, life is not a journey of self-evolution, but rather, it is a journey of self-discovery. the more i know about ace, the very essense of ace, "ace-ness" if you will, the better i can harmonize the existence of ace with the greater existence of all mankind, animalkind, florakind, earth, wind, fire, et cetera and so for and so on. i am not tasked with continually reinventing myself. i am tasked with discovering my true nature and also discovering the true nature of existence and then attempting to harmonize the two? or live in harmony with the two? not clear on that point exactly, but this idea of harmony with self and with the greater is in keeping with what i was saying about talent the other day - that my talent is part of who i am and it is my talent that drives me and starves me and pushes me and feeds me. my talent is both my quest and my reward. my talent is in me, it is me, and the more time i spend discovering my talent and honing it, the more i am living in harmony with my true self, the better steward and master of my talent i will become. people get so obsessed with constant reinvention, rebirth, reincarnation, always reaching outward, outward, outward - wanting to discover who they are by measuring against the sticks of the world. but the world doesn't determine who we are, and we don't determine who we are. disappointed? why? you are who you are. stop trying to make yourself over, and instead try getting to know yourself. ah, see? there's the problem. we're all full of these black pits of ooze that we'd rather smooth over with a nice 12-step program and membership to the Y. get over yourself. embrace the ooze.
zork? dork.
tonight on big bang theory sheldon was playing a text based computer game, probably zork. i googled it and learned you can download zork and install it on your pc or mac - right now today. i almost downloaded the zip file but then i was like, what the hell are you doing ace? downloading a zip executable from an unknown source? gonna just pop it open there on the ol' netbook? why'nt you just throw the computer down the stairs and give it a quick death instead of making it suffer with a virus? back in the day we had some sort of text based game on the trs-80. zork, colossal cave, something. probably zork. anyway, the point is that i played it once, didn't finish the round, and found it both boring and complicated - a bad combination. would i find it more fun now? doubtful. it's not like i was thinking, hey - i would sure like to play a round of zork! no. i saw sheldon playing it and i was all, hey - i would sure like to be like sheldon! who needs zork to bolster your dork quotient, when you have sheldon-envy? 
light the corners of my mind
life is not made up of discrete, snapshot-flat occurrences. life is a series of interrelated, complex experiences that combine concrete events with how you feel about those events to create memories. but once they're formed, memories don't just sit there waiting to be remembered, they morph and drift. high school graduation is simultaneously yesterday and years ago. all the games of pente you played in junior high are melded into one. that one night in college when you wandered for hours under snow-orange skies overshadows months and months of other nights. did you ever think about something so much - remember it so purposefully - that you reach that point where you don't think about it at all anymore? it becomes a piece of you, a reality absorbed into your very essence. it is The Way Things Are. you so deeply ingest it, so completely process it, so absolutely accept it that you don't even notice it while you are moving around your day, don't even see it is there and with a trick of the mind, the ultimate irony -- you hold onto it so tightly that you squeeze it right out of your grasp. you remember it so well that you forget it altogether until you walk right into it and break your toe against the solid granite truth of it and you're reminded again that things will never be the same again. like, maybe this weekend you'll see if speedy wants to hit the trails for a snowy run and then you walk right into the fact that speedy lives 800 miles away now. ouch! or, you'll go out to the old homeplace and see if you can find that electric football game and you smack into the granite of not knowing who lives there now. ouch! or, you're reading your emails and one's really funny and you know who would laugh at it and you're fixing to send it to her when you crash into remembering they don't get emails in heaven, or, you know, where ever she is hanging out these days. ouch. ouch. so maybe you broke the toe of your soul or maybe you just bruised it or maybe it's not even bruised but merely scraped. whatever. it's gonna hurt for a few minutes or a few days but it's eventually gonna quit hurting again, just like it has quit before, and you'll be skipping around soon enough, oblivious, well on your way to running into one of those walls. again.
this is not the snowy day mr keats wrote about.
today was a snow day. starbux is a complete mess. there have clearly been kids here all day. my old man was going to work out so i was all like, hey you can drop me at the bux, and i thought i'd relax here a while, maybe blog a bit. so i got my tea and a bagel and i settled down and then the bux guy goes - due to the weather we are closing in 1/2 hour. c'mon! really?! i just got my tea, you wanker! you could have said something then, could you not? the weather?? what a bunch of wusses. i was planning to be here at least an hour and so now what? i am trying to get hold of the man, but as he is working out, that is proving to be a problem. starbux = idiots. they WILL hear from me.
cloudy with a chance of snowmageddon
it's supposed to snow tonight & tomorrow and around here, snow just shuts everything completely down - not because we are wusses but because we don't have the appropriate equipment to clear it away because it snows rarely so all that equipment would be a poor investment. so there's a chance i won't be able to get out of the driveway tomorrow so i drove up to work today to collect some work so in case of snow i can work from home. no, i don't think i could just take a snow day. no, i have no idea why i am compelled thusly.
go back to bed!
it's common knowledge that turkey contains tryptophan which is a substance that promotes sleep. did you know that bananas also contain tryptophan, plus magnesium and potassium? magnesium and potassium are natural muscle relaxers which probably explains a bit about why bananas are good to eat after a hard workout. here are some other foods that promote sleep and their sleep-promoting ingredients. almonds - magnesium green tea - theanine miso soup - melatonin-boosting amino acids dairy products - tryptophan plus calcium oatmeal - calcium, magnesium, phosphorus, silicon, and potassium eggs - protein edamame - natural estrogen-like compounds cherries - melatonin-boosting ingredients so, a small bowl of oatmeal with milk, almonds, and dried cherries, accompanied by an egg and cup of green tea is a snack that will help you sleep. too bad this describes breakfast.
66666 happened on the freeway and by the time i came to a stop it was 66667. for the record, driving backwards does not reduce the odometer reading.
¿que hora es?
so i went to that thing at the place with those people and it was about what you'd expect so after an hour i was ready to go so here's what i did - i left - and nobody was all "c'mon ace, don't go!" which was good because i wanted to go but also bad because you know how even if you really want to leave you also want somebody to want you to stay, but they didn't i guess, which is fine, or maybe they were like - hey more food for us! - or maybe it's because if i ever show up at all i never stay for long so the ace endurance barre is set low, and hey now, by ace endurance are we talking 'bout how long ace can endure, or how long ace can be endured?
is supper ready yet?
there is a recurring discussion in the running community about rewards such as medals and "plastic trophies", and it's a bit of a point of honor to say that the measly trophies from local road races are unimportant. maybe not so much with marathon medals, but even those aren't generally esteemed highly. at least, not out loud. as is so often the case with recognition, those who are vocal about dissing the trophies are the folks who have quite a few of them. it's easy to say something is meaningless when it's meaningless to you, and i'm certain i am not the only one to whom the plastic trophies are NOT meaningless. i worked, i achieved, i earned, i succeeded. and, i keep quiet for fear of looking the fool. trophies in general are devalued these days because too friggin many have been handed out to this generation of kids. i came up in the last generation not to get trophies for every freaking thing and as a consequence, trophies are both meaningful and rare to me. so rare that of all the tokens of recognition that i have, i do not have a single trophy, and so meaningful that i still covet the little golden plastic statues. yeah, i have $5. i can go buy me one. but, that's not the POINT, is it now?  there's really nothing about my running that could be attributed to talent. not to say that i work particularly hard or that i do not enjoy running. no. that's not it at all. it's mostly the opposite - i flitter around, just playing not working, and i enjoy the hell out of it. but when i do decide to set my sights, then i have to work harder to achieve a lesser goal than would someone with talent. my talent is brains and my academic medals are for actual achievement where my running medals are frequently mere tokens of participation, but my academic medals are not displayed alongside my running medals. i'm not sure i can explain the dynamic. it's not that i didn't work hard for the academic wins. i worked very hard, harder than folks would like to believe. people like to think all those As come easy, that i'm just naturally smart, that i am doing something they could never do because i have this gift. it's not that i didn't work hard - it's that i would have worked hard anyway. i worked hard in order to win, and the reward for the win was the winning itself, not the medal. it's a bit like that with running, too, i'd wager. sure, that fast guy works hard, but it comes easy for him. not that the work isn't hard, but it's work he would have done anyway because that is where his talent lies. it's like having a calling or a true love. and, so, to the fast guy the reward for the win is the winning itself, not the medal. the trick in our own lives is to recognize our talents, cherish and not squander them, work hard to develop them, but all the while remain open to the extra patches of joy that are available in the things that we're not particularly talented in.
8000 words, plus
 if you look closely you'll see that one at the top reads "sparkle", not "spackle". what kind of an idiot thinks a christmas tag reads "spackle"? probably YOU!
 look. a special card for a special person. all eight of them.
 this is the logo for the olympics to be held in rio in... what year? you can figure that one out. there's some sort of controversy about this logo being a reminiscent of another logo of some non-profit agency in like spokane or someplace but if you will observe you will see that it is reminiscent of not a logo, but rather, quite simply, of a weenus.
 this morning when i logged into the internet this was on my home screen. it took me a few moments to recover from the panic that the country's financial structure had given way. IT'S AN AD. sheesh.
 because the house is in a disarray, we've been dining out at breakfast. cracker barrel has this cranberry orange muffin encrusted with pecans and toasted oatmeal. it is probably the single unhealthiest thing on the menu besides the gravy. however. it's delicious. so i have been ordering the muffin breakfast with the muffin in a box, and then i have the muffin for lunch. the muffin for lunch with my other lunch? no. nothing else. the muffin will suffice. if you look closely here, you will see the letter "n" is wearing a tiny oatmeal hat.
 someone put this picture in the restroom at work. is it a decoration? is it for sale? is it an art show? thoughts? anyone?
 when i first saw this i thought it was hilarious. "their toothbrush"! hahaha! as if your family has only one tb between them. haha. ha. yeah, i am tired of it already. now you get to be tired of it, too.
 and, last but definitely not least, this is an example of the kind of gift you would receive if the person you lived with found you as fascinating as the person i live with finds me. or, you know, something along those lines.
don't hold your breath.
this woman in illinois had twins and one was born on 31 dec 2010 and the other was born 1 jan 2011. one is the perfect tax credit and one is the perfect tax burden. a complete portrait of life in two little lives. some days it's all good and some days it's just all hood.
ode to the day, redux
today i did not go for a walk.
ode to the day
the afternoon typifies early winter around these parts. it's chilly but not cold, temps hovering around 50º, no wind. a cloud ceiling hangs low and steely grey but gentle - the storm it holds is not today's. i put on my new pink princess mittens, my old swatch sweatshirt, my new adidas pants, my old new balance trainers, and go outside into this weather that is my favorite, my precious. this weather that i cherish, that i wait all year for. if weather were children, this is the one i would spoil. crossing the neighbor's yard feels a bit of a trespass and i think about when we were kids and we didn't know about boundary lines. devoid of actual puddles, the blacktop is a patchwork of wet + dry, light + dark, its slumping shoulders sloppy with mud from last night's thunderstorm. the run-off from that storm gurgles in the culvert. cold-worn squirrels move slowly among the tall trees and occassional thickets of this older neighborhood. i wave at folks who are inside cars as they pass and i smell woodsmoke caused by folks who are inside houses playing with fireplaces. people around here don't really use wood to heat their houses. college kids on holiday have caused driveway overflow. parked in the yards and streets, old jeeps and hand-me-down camrys sport new stickers that proclaim future alma maters, recently-pledged greek affiliations, authorization to Park On Campus. the world is muffled and distant. i could walk for miles and miles and miles. and miles. 
|
bare yellow bulb, vol 1
i would hold your soft hand
two people have me on their blogrolls and one is a poor lead-in, generating zero referral traffic. the other, though, is a jackpot of riches. and by jackpot i of course mean one or two people once or twice a week click over here from over there. i know what is happening. they are going there to see if there's anything new, which there too rarely is, and when they find nothing new there, they come over here for a bit of a consolation prize. that's fine. i will be your consolation prize. that is how pathetic i am. 
