begin the night, end the day. cold winter will now come this way. evil spirits wish to harm - be mindful of the smoke alarm!

tonight begins samhain, the ancient celtic festival celebrating the coming of winter. to the celts, as to the israelites, each day begins at sunset, so samhain begins on 31 octobre and ends at sunset on 1 novembre. of course, to the ancient celts, samhain would not have fallen on 31 octobre. samhain would have fallen on samhain. what i mean is that they didn't have the julian calendar - they measured by stars and sun and moon - so samhain would have been measured by some calculation of the motion of the sun & moon.

the measurement would have been done at various holy places similar to stonehenge, most much smaller than that. the community shaman would measure the movement of the earth as demonstrated by the relative movement of the stars, sun, & moon through the heavens, and then relay to the community when the aligment was in place. samhain falls a certain point between the autumnal equinox [20/21 septembre] and the winter solstice [20/21 decembre] and that point would have been revealed in these measurements.

the traditional halloween game of bobbing for apples comes from an old celtic belief about an apple tree that grows at the center of the otherworld, across the western sea. the bobbing symbolizes crossing the sea to gain the apple of knowledge. apple of knowledge... sounds familiar, eh?

samhain is the beginning of winter/night and the opposite celebration beltane marks the beginning of summer/day. during each of these times, the barrier between the world that we know and the otherworld is weaker. in the otherworld live the spirits of humans who've died but also other spirits - good & evil beings, fairys, daemons, brownies, elves, boggarts - beings we cannot see and from whom we're usually separated.

samhain's a good time to talk to the ancestors, since the barrier's weaker, but it's also a dangerous time when we can fall to enchantment or be drawn into the otherworld before our time. so - we want to make contact, but yet we don't. we want to take a walk on the dark side, maybe meet up with the shaman, eh? a wee visit with grandma-bec or granda-penn or harold the elder. but what of those who want to keep us there, how do we avoid them? hollow out a gourd and carve a scary face on it, place a light inside to shine through the scary face. wear a scary mask, so the bad spirits will be fooled, think you're one of them, and leave you alone. tried & true solutions that have been working for centuries.

may you keep safe this samhain!

while you're up there, get that frisbee out of the gutter. thanks.

dr oz is having a special «ask anything» show today and here's what i want to ask - «if you are willing to ask a stranger on national teevee something you are too embarrassed to ask your personal dr - isn't it time to get a new personal dr?»

speaking of asking - there are these columns in the newspaper where you can send in questions and get answers from a stranger. advice columns. some are specific like heloise who provides household tips. some are general like carolyn hax and dearabby. of these, hax is by far the best. this is b/c hax answers actual questions and dearabby is a complete loon.

the other day, this lady wrote in to dearabby about her mom having theme parties on the days that equal the months & years. [1 jan 2001, 2 feb 2002, 3 march 2003, etc.] this was not even a question - it was a sort of letter to dearabby as if she were a personal friend. a personal friend letter that they published in the newpaper. and they wonder why newspaper sales are down. so anyway, dearabby's response was - i kid you not - «i hope 13/13/13 doesn't fall on a friday!» yeah, i am kind of hoping we don't HAVE a 13/13/13 at all since THERE ARE ONLY 12 MONTHS.

more fabulous advice from the dearabby snoozefest. actual dearabbyisms --
-- «By allowing their children to ignore the "rules," these parents are sending the message that rules don't apply to them.»
-- «Joking about someone's appearance isn't clever or funny.»
-- «If you want concrete answers from her, you need to discuss this subject more fully with her.»
-- «I'm sure you have many qualities that make you special -- and remember, what makes us unique is sometimes what we mistake as our "flaws."»

why am i droning on about dearabby? well, hell, why do i drone on about anything. b/c you hang on my every word, that's why. glad we straightened that out.

here's your action item takeaway: write your local newspaper and tell them to stop running dearabby. i don't care if your local paper doesn't run dearabby or if you don't even have a local paper. do it anyway.

the windhover

the book i am currently reading used the first few lines of this poem as the epigram of the first chapter. except that it was quoted incorrectly - "i caught this mornings morning's minion". that annoyed me because at one time, i memorized this piece... or, at least a piece of the piece. i remember studying this poem, but do not remember at what point in my educational career that happened. most likely in college, most likely in a lit class that i vaguely remember from freshman year. i will find my norton anthology of poetry and see what it reveals in the way of classnotes.

at any rate - it's a fine poem. it's written in sprung verse. look it up - you'll be fascinated.


the windhover [gerard manley hopkins]

To Christ our Lord

I caught this morning morning’s minion, king-
dom of daylight’s dauphin, dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding
Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding
High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing
In his ecstasy! then off, off forth on swing,
As a skate’s heel sweeps smooth on a bow-bend: the hurl and gliding
Rebuffed the big wind. My heart in hiding
Stirred for a bird,—the achieve of, the mastery of the thing!

Brute beauty and valour and act, oh, air, pride, plume, here
Buckle! AND the fire that breaks from thee then, a billion
Times told lovelier, more dangerous, O my chevalier!

No wonder of it: sheer plod makes plough down sillion
Shine, and blue-bleak embers, ah my dear,
Fall, gall themselves, and gash gold-vermillion.

consultants. ppffff!

i hate when consultants get all «oh, we can do that but it'll cost you.» or «that will require a change order.» or «let me check with the programming guys and get back with you on that request.» or «we'll do it my way because i am the consultant and therefore i am the defacto authority on the subject and the fact that you hired a consultant says right there that you don't have the skillset to do this in-house therefore i am your saviour and by saviour i of course mean supreme ruler zandor! bow to me!»

yeah, see, here's the thing. most of what we're farming out, i've actually done, so don't try to pull your so-smart crapola on me because i am going to call you on it, buddy! i'd be doing the shizzle myself if i weren't so busy doing much more important things like managing the freelancers and consultants, posting random shizzle on message boards, and filing my nails.

why i should endeavor to strive to attempt to try to aspire to intend to plan to have tuesday be a running day.

one of the best things about running is that you can get dressed and go just about anytime or anywhere - especially if you aren't afraid of the dark. but woe is me b/c i am not supposed to run every day on account of having recently been fracturized so every-other day at work i am confined to the fitness center. the fact that i am about to complain about the fitness center should in no way detract from the facts that it is stellartacular to have a fitness center at work and i recognize that everyone doesn't have access to such a fine facility right there handy in their workplace building.

what i don't like about the fitness center, in no particular order:
- it does not smell nice.
- it is inside.
- the selection of equipment is limited.
- the weights guilt me into lifting when all i came to do is ride the recumbent cycle - by which of course i mean read my book.
- other people use the facility while i am in there.
- there are so many fans going you'd think we were testing ourselves for aerodynamics.
- the later in the day it gets, the more crowded the fitness center becomes.

i am not always in complete control of my schedule on tuesdays. wait - i take that back - yes, i am. we are all in control of ourselves nearly all the time, although we don't always recognize it. so i guess i'd have to say that i CHOOSE to sit in the weekly staff meeting instead of CHOOSING to get up and walk out on my boss & coworkers at 10:30AM in order to secure the piece of aerobic fitness equipment that i desire.

today i got there so late that i was there when the fat-fatties were having their learn about the fitness equipment and generally show each other a great deal of support mutual bonding time. now don't get me wrong - i love the fat-fatties and their courage and how they try so hard and how they work it! work it! work it! but this one particular fat-fattie in a lavender hanes-her-way-just-my-size matching fleece set was using MY bike. she could barely move the pedals around. she was sweating and breathing heavy and just trying so hard, bless her heart, and all i wanted to say to her was - «get your fat ass the hell off my bike!»

i opted for the treadmill.

in standard editions of monopoly the bank has $15,140 in cash. in standard editions of ace, the bank has not $15,140 in cash.

so... that funny sound the slingshot was making was a cry for help - she needed brakes. she's got expensive tastes and wanted a $500 brake job. silly little slingshot - you think we ain't got nothing better to spend our dubloons on than $500 brake jobs? so i went to the vaults and got some dubloons.

eh?

i went to the credit union and withdrew some funds in the form of a check made out to myself. took that check to the bank to make the deposit to cover the ransom note for little slingshot. this particular bank branch is at the front of a grocery store, so that the bank tellers are on a veritable open stage to the cash-out lines. the tellers are invariably young men and are invariably performing for the shoppers. intense, competitive, scenery-chewing performance conversations that grind on to the point that it is exceedingly difficult to get the participants' attention long enough to conduct a simple trasaction of the sort the institution was founded to conduct. it's as tedious as the previous sentence.

i finally managed to get one young man's attention, and i asked for an ink pen. «we only have lead pens here.» - he said. then - i kid you not - he turned to his co-teller and the folks cashing out as would a performer gathering applause. only then did he manage to hand me an ink pen.

i endorsed the check and under my name wrote my account number. «oh! don't ever, ever do that!» - he said. «do you know why?» - he asked. jeez, man, no - but i am sure you're going to tell me. he proceeded to tell me that one should never write one's account number on the back of one's checks because the bank provides scanned images of the fronts & backs of checks to its account holders. putting your account number on the back of your check means your account number will appear in this scanned image.

- - i said - «you are speaking of the images that are available to me when i have logged into my account online?»
- - he said - «exactly!»
- - i said - «don't you think that if someone has logged into my account, they have all the information they need already?»
- - he said - i kid you not - «you can never be too careful!»

um... okay, yeah, maybe -- but you CAN be too stupid.

let's say you spend all afternoon, from like noon to say 18:00, putting up a structure of legos. is that an erection lasting more than four hours?

from the tripping odometer: 13131, 13331, 13579. from the honda: 51515. it appears from a quick perusal of the internets that honda is spanish for slingshot. «veddy interestink - but not funny.» [as arte johnson would say were he not riding the great tricycle in the sky.]

in case you're wondering why i'm not providing titans coverage this season, it's because the titans aren't playing this season. they do appear to be suiting up for games, but they're not showing up in any real sense. also not showing up this football season: vandy. a real disappointment after last year's superiour seasons for both these teams.

the odd thing about vandy is that they've got all these players in top stats for the s-e-c and so you'd think they'd also have a really good team, but the reason these players accumulate the stats is simply b/c they are out on the field so much. vandy ain't got no depth. [<<-- grammatically incorrect sentence about vandybuild = ironicalness] vandy player to watch: freshman running back warren norman. i like to call him stormin' norman, but it doesn't seem to be catching on, so help me out here and start spreading the news about this wonderous nickname. stormin' norman has run back 2 kickoffs for touchdowns this season, and that doubles the amount run back by any other vandy player, ever. this week he started from the goal line on a kickoff return and ran the length of the field. stellar.larry smith, the sophomore qb, is getting all the snaps which is somewhat of a mystery around here. why not give mackenzie adams some work? he's a senior. why not let him play some his senior year? larry smith is supposed to be So Much Better than mackenzie adams, but i am really not sure How Much More Worse Could You Lose and still believe you have the best personnel on the field.vandy had a real chance to win this week, making it all the more disappointing that they did not. they beat western carolina to start the season, then faced l-s-u, a certain loss, but that's fine. then, missippy state, should have been a win but was not, so right there they're 1-2 and should have been 2-1. beat rice in week 4. so, at week 4 they were 2-2 heading into the game with missippy, which they could have won but lost. army, which they should have won but lost. so, at week 6 they could have been 4-2 with wins at western carolina, one of the missipys, army, and rice, and losses only to l-s-u and one of the missipys. instead, they're 2-4, heading into the game with georgia, a near certain loss. 2-5 heading into this week's game with south carolina. now they stand at 2-6 with really no way to salvage 6 wins at this point. games left include: georgia tech, florida, kentucky, and tennessee. last year's team, i'd give them wins over ga-tech and kentucky with a maybe over tennessee. this year's team, i predict 4 more losses and a finish at 2-10. they will definitely not be going to a bowl game 2 years in a row if you're counting this year as one of the 2.

wouldn't a payday taste like paper? unless you get paid by electronic transfer in which case it would taste like lightning. lightening. lightinging.

it is that time of year again. candy corn time. i am a fan of the candied corns, but here's the annoying thing about candy corn time - it's also the time of year when folks feel compelled to reveal this "secret" they've learned: that mixing candy corn + peanuts = yummy. HEY YOU EEJITS IT AIN'T A SECRET! they are all like, oooo - tastes like a payday! which is really stupid b/c who really cares if it tastes like a payday? what the hell diff does it make if it tastes LIKE anything else?? it's just yummy as it is. and, secondly - it's not a complicated recipe that your granny done passed down to ya. you don't have to whisper it like some big corporation's going to steal it from you. it's candy corn + peanuts. there's not even any cooking involved. pluswise, a big corporation did already steal it and make the payday, so the whole secret's kind of OUT THERE ALREADY. jeezum.

here is the recipe from a recipe website. i followed the recipe and got stuck on the first direction - "mix". this is so vague! do i mix in a bowl? a box? a ziploc bag? an empty coke bottle? a doggie dish? do i use a spoon? my hands? my feet? the doggie's feet? good thing they mention serving it in a bowl because i was thinking about just throwing it on the floor.

so, here ya go. the recipe. the best part is - it tastes just like a payday!

SERVES 8-12
Ingredients
-- 1 cup candy corn
-- 1 cup salted peanuts
Directions
-- 1 - Mix the Candy Corn and peanuts together.
-- 2 - Serve in a bowl.

it's one of the great things about brigadoon, you know -- the need for less stuff, the simplicity.

one of the most attractive features of harry potter's world is that these kids carry around all their worldly possessions in their trunks. er... footlockers, actually. not like they are elephants, after all. so - the point is that they have few belongings and that those belongings work for them. okay, having a working wand would make up for a plethora of other possessions, but still. STILL. i continue to return to the theme. too.much.stuff.too.much.stuff.TOO.MUCH.STUFF. of course, it's easier if you have one function. i mean, having a job and a variety of athletic & electronic hobbies and for prigzample enjoying to watch the movie harry potter is made easier by one's having the dvd. these kids have their clothes and a couple robes and schoolbooks and a wand, maybe a broom and an owl. i could take this desire to have less STUFF and use the engendered energetics to engineer entransformation. but, that would mean getting my butoxie off the couch, and the movie is not yet over.

books 2009

currently:
the telling pool
david clement-davies

complete:
eye of the god
[ariel allison]
first among sequels
[jasper fford]
north river
[pete hamill]
dragonlight
[donita k paul]
world without end
[ken follett]
the associate
[john grisham]
dragonfire
[donita k paul]
dragonknight
[donita k paul]
the archbishop in andalusia
[andrew greeley]
dragonquest
[donita k paul]
dragonspell
[donita k paul]
the spiderwick chronicles, vol. 1-5
[tony diterlizzi & holly black]
devil bones
[kathy reichs]
irish tweed
[andrew greeley]
the paradise war
[stephen lawhead]
hood
[stephen lawhead]
scarpetta
[patricia cornwell]

tonight's berserk: wee tiny little cake that came in its own safety-zone container. i offer pictures of the sweetness to temper the previous rant.

**WARNING** ** **SHAMELESS RANT** ** **WARNING** *** *** **WARNING** ** **SHAMELESS RANT** ** **WARNING**

yesterday, our nation's president banned the fox news channel from the press room. the big news outlets - abc, nbc, cbs, cnn - all stood together and said if fox cannot participate, then they will not either. sounds brave, but then one must consider that the expenses of white house news coverage are split 5 ways between these big outlets, so really... the other 4 don't want to lose fox's money. okay, maybe that's a bit cynical. maybe they were standing up for fox's right to participate simply because that is the right thing to do.

i don't care if you agree with fox news or not. i do care if you agree with our nation's president. because agreeing with banning opposing points of view is agreeing with shutting out voices of american citizens. it's agreeing with putting a lid on free speech. the message is that if you do not agree with the administration that's currently in power, you will not be allowed to participate. this is not amusing. this is not something to be taken lightly or to be brushed off. the party line of the admin is that fox news is not like other news channels - fox news is the op-ed arm of the republican party. okay, fox is conservative, no doubt - but... an arm of the republican party? c'mon. where's the evidence of this? fox news is a conservative voice. the republican party is a conservative party. it DOES NOT FOLLOW from this that fox news is an arm of the republican party. c'mon! nbc is a liberal voice. the democratic party is a liberal party. is nbc an arm of the democratic party?

pretty pretty princess

in case you didn't catch it the first time, the chaffeur in the princess diaries is the same guy that was the hotel manager in pretty woman. in case you didn't catch it the first time, the stylist in the princess diaries is the same guy that was the store manager in pretty woman. in case you didn't catch it the first time, the plot in the princess diaries is the same plot that was in pretty woman. in case you didn't catch it the first time, the main character in the princess diaries is a student and in pretty woman the protagonist is a prostitute -- so, that last thing is different. well, in most cases, at least.

it IS a vacation after all!

today's to-do:
- run - CHECK
- balance checkbook - CHECK
- unpack bags - CHECK
- do laundry - half CHECK
- do dishes - vicarious CHECK
- go to grocery - in process

the checkbook balanced, but is rather sparse. not sure exactly where all the money's going, but on the other hand, no checks are bouncing and we're still making the mortgage each month and we have new socks & underwear. i tend to get a wee bit nervous about money and am constantly keeping track. my old man's much more laid back about it - knowing it will all work out - so we're a pretty good pair as far as money's concerned. i usually know the bank balance to the penny and he usually knows how to use what money there is to have the most possible fun. like, buying new socks & underwear.

unpacked the bags and did a couple loads of laundry. there's more laundry to be done, but at least i got started, eh? some of the warsher & dryer space is taken up by a pair of pants that i am fairly certain are the be-all end-all of pantsness but which are a smidge too wide and a double smidge too long. i am washing them and drying them over & over again in hopes they'll shrink up a smidge or two. yeah, i know... but i got them on sale and they're really superior hiking pants with pockets & shizzle!

MY OLD MAN DID THE DISHES! superior! cleaned up all that sticky syrupy mess from breakfast. he even swept the floor and wiped the counters off. yeah, he's good for more than spending money.

ran 4 miles in 38:44. this might not sound too good to you, but then you're not me, are you? we'll go with "superior" on this one, too.

so, i did all that and was fixing to go to the grocery and i was like - hey, maybe i would like to go sit at the coffee shop and do some computing and have a scone before i go to the grocery. so, i came on down and walked in, and i was so happy to see an open booth, so i put down my way-too-big-bc-i-don't-have-a-netbook bag, and this guy came from like out of the back and was coming toward me with that oh-no-you-din't look. so i go - «were you sitting here?» he goes - «we still are.» i declined to point out that clearly, they were not currently sitting anywhere as they - this man & a woman - sort of materialized there and proceeded to plant themselves in the booth.

so, i pleasantly picked up my bag and asked the counter-guy were there any other places with power plugs b/c my computer is wack and cannot run on battery alone. he showed me a table in the back, and then he nodded towards The Couple In The Booth and said, «but, they're leaving soon.» i was like - «really?» and he was like, «yeah, they've been there over an hour and she has to get back to work, and he has to cut me some tomatoes.» a-ha. mr oh-no-you-din't works here. interesting.

i piddled with the coffee and piddled with the scone and finally went outside and sat down to have coffee & scone sans computer. ::sigh:: very sad. i had just finished answering a couple emails via iphone [fabulous, really, but not like a real computer, eh?] when lo & behold, mr oh-no-you-din't and ms long-luncher came out. so, i packed up the iphone and picked up my coffee and walked in to grab the table, but there was somebody sitting there. and, it was not just anybody. it was counter-guy. i go - «are you holding my table for me?» he grins & goes - «yep!» and hops up and goes back to work.

superior!

home again, home again, jiggity jog!

today's to-do:
- run
- balance checkbook
- unpack bags
- do laundry
- do dishes
- go to grocery

waaaa!! this is supposed to be a vacation!!

dedicated to mini-me

day two at the graceland b&b

went to the super-discount store today to scout for some bargains. my old man found socks and a hat, and i found something for mini-me, but didn't find anything for myself, and here's why - i need to stop spending my time in the discount clothing sections. i have enough discount clothing to last me quite a while. i am going to start perusing the housewares and shoes. i would like to have some sort of lunch container solution that works well or at the least is interesting - and also a pair of rain boots.

elvis & i went for a run this morning, and as usual, spent the time chatting about the solutions to everyone else's issues. we solved most everything. people should listen to us more.

currently watching the titans play in the snow against the pats. referee = gene steratore. earlier today in the minnesota-baltimore game: referee = mike carey. before that, in the other game where i don't remember who was playing: referee = ed hoculie. therefore, i have seen them all today. or, maybe it wasn't mike carey. i could have been mistaken in my excitement at the prospect of seeing all three of the best refs in the same afternoon.

greetings from the graceland bed & breakfast

the quarterback throws the ball to the receiver and the receiver catches it 20 yards down the field and then runs another 20 yards. they call this a 40 yard reception, but i contend that it is a 20 yd reception and a 20 yd run.

went to the bookstore today and found a used book that captured my attention, so i purchased it. used books being generally 1/2 the cost of new books, they're a bit safer bet. new books are just so expensive, and unless the book is ripped or drawn in, there's no loss in its having been read before. the book is not lessened any. the content is not worn down by the reading. so i purchased this book called the telling pool by david clement-davies. it's a y-a book. i find that lots of the best fantasy books are y-a because they're not loaded up with gratuitous sex & violence. i also find that men with the last name davies should not have the first name david, but that's just me.

tripping!

i rented a car, so i must be going on a trip. woohoo! this trip, my old man is going. i usually travel alone, so we'll just see how that works out. there is nothing like being trapped in a car together to bring out the best in one, is there now?

the car's a chrysler 300 - a huge ginormous behemoth of a black car with a big square chrome grill. very stylin'. and quite large. the odometer reads 12821, so i'd say things are off to a good start.

clothes & pjs - check
toothbrush & comb - check
car snacks - check
phone charger - check
book - check
cds to listen to in the car - don't need 'em cause the huge ginormous behemoth black car has satellite radio!!

balloon? that's no balloon - that's a jiffy pop thingie!

in case you didn't get the memo, mao tse-tung was an evil dictator who is responsible for 10x to 12x more deaths than hitler. the current usa political administration lauds mao, so it is important to have this context.

salt lake tribune: "President Barack Obama's $787 billion economic recovery plan has created or saved roughly 1 million jobs since it was enacted in February, an administration economic official said." that's $787,000 per job. i don't know about you, but that seems a bit steep to me. also steep - the nearly 10% national unemployment rate.

on the lighter side -- did you hear about the boy who supposably flew away in his family's weather- & alien-tracking* balloon today, and appeared to have fallen from the basket and perhaps plunged to his death? turns out he untied the balloon and let it float away, then he was afraid he would get in trouble, so he hid in a box in his attic until found hours later. [*let's just say his parents are... interesting, and leave it at that.]

but then, it's really not that hard to understand how the kid felt. i mean, all this current events shizzle can make you feel like untying the family space balloon and hiding in a box.

.yadsendew si yadot

the dow rose above 10000 today as it has done periodically thru the last decade and everyone's all wahooo! but the dow is not like bowling where a higher score is better, and it's not like golf where the low score wins. it's like jenga. you have to carefully balance all the pieces or it will come crashing down.

in other news, avril lavigne has filed for divorce. who else here thought she was like 16? well surprise she is 25 and her big debut was in 2002 which 2009-2002=7 and 25-7=18 so all this time she never was 16. well, she obviously once was 16, but not since we knew her. which of course we did not, because she is a famous star and we only think we know her. or, thought we knew her before this whole divorce thing. i mean, you think you know someone and blam....


from dr mark hyman, the 7 points of a healthy inner-tube:
1] eat whole unprocessed foods.
2] test for food allergies by isolating and removing one food group at a time, for a couple weeks, and noting any changes in digestion.
3] treat any infections or overgrowth of bugs.
4] replenish your digestive enzymes by taking broad-spectrum digestive enzymes with your food.
5] rebuild your friendly bacteria with probiotic supplements.
6] get good fat - omega-3 supplements help cool inflammation in the gut.
7] heal your gut lining with glutamine and zinc.

it is not where you are.

now in the haze of the twilight,
when birds sing the last of the sun -
stand in the field, stand alone in the field.
your time around here's nearly done.

now in the dark of the evening,
when birds call the rise of the moon -
stand in the wood, stand alone in the wood.
your time here will be over soon.

now in the pitch of the midnight,
when birds all are silent in sleep -
stand on the shore, stand alone on the shore.
your time here is not yours to keep.

now in the grey of the gloaming,
when birds greet the new morning star -
i stand in this place, stand alone in this place.
i am here. it is not where you are.

which comes first

retrieving alkaline trio from the archive or recurrance of teen angst? feeling angsty and thinking a little a-t will fit the mood or random a-t selection sets off random angst particles? is it the weather? the proximity of the annual season of angst? too much work & too little exercise? or perhaps you simply enjoy a little angstfest now & again, eh? nobody likes a pollyanna, after all.

where are the wild things?

there was a story on npr this morning about the movie where the wild things are and the lost wilderness of childhood.

back in the day, we went lots of places & did lots of things without adult supervision. we rode our bikes to the market and bought candy with quarters that we'd scrounged up from somewhere. we walked to the lake and went swimming - just us kids. we played for hours in empty lots and throughout the neighborhood. nowadays, kids are not afforded this freedom. why? oh, lots of reasons really.

at first, i thought, we grown-ups were so determined not to grow up that we've comandeered childhood. there's plenty of opportunity to act childish without bothering the children -- but the problem, of course, is that we'll be labeled insane. a kid can walk in circles until he gets dizzy and falls down. he can do this in the living room or the backyard or the playground or the grocery store. basically, where ever the hell he pleases. grown-ups cannot engage in this type of behaviour without risk of being carted away. but, still, i don't think there is a rampant surge of grown-ups co-opting childhood in order to make ourselves puke-inducingly dizzy. that's just not quite it.

then, i thought, maybe the world is a more dangerous place. some kid is all the time getting shot by a stray bullet or nabbed by a freak who'll keep her in a tent in the backyard for like 18 years. but my grandfather's sister died when she was around 12 or so because she picked a zit and got a blood disease. you really don't hear about the killer zit danger these days, so i'd have to say things are a bit safer on that front. is childhood more dangerous? i doubt it. are the dangers more highly publicized? yes. definitely.

kids used to walk or bike to school - or even ride the bus with other kids - and have a few hours of relatively parent-free time each week. but now they are riding in their parents' cars. and the time they spend in cars? oh, man, don't get me started on that. what happened to the alphabet game & beating up your younger brother in the back seat? now they are all glued to a dvd. what happened to staring out the window at the tops of trees?

why do we not allow the kids to wander aimlessly through the wilderness of childhood? we tell ourselves we're doing all this for the kids. we take pride in the fact that we take a much bigger part in our kids' lives than did our parents. we're THERE FOR THEM. the problem is that the kids actually need the opposite. they need to be left alone. to figure things out for themselves. to learn to deal with bullies and boredom on their own terms. to dream.

the bottom line is that we don't want our kids to fall behind - behind the neighbor kid, behind the kids at school, behind the world filled with kids just waiting to push our kid down. we are overcompensating for what we imagine we missed out on or what we imagine our kids are missing. but, in striving to provide them with every opportunity to reach their full potential, we're destroying any chance they ever had at getting there.

hope is a dangerous thing.

the weather is 57º and cloudy. i have a new sweater, new contact lenses, a gift for beavis, and an application for brigadoon. i also have way too much time on my hands... time that should have been used this morning to run too far to make sense.

the moral of this story is never let them leave the scene of the crime.

on the way home this evening, there was a wild hydroplaning crack-em-up in front of us. carpooling coworker brilliantly brought her car to a complete stop, we breathed a sigh of relief at not having been caught in the crossfire, and WHAM we were hit from the rear.

jeepus. everyone out.

you okay? you okay? yeah. yeah. how's your car? any damage? eh, not much, just a scratch. hard to believe - hardly any damage. hey, so, i need to be somewhere. i am gonna give you my business card and my insurance info and you call me, okay? i gotta go. here. here's my card. i gotta go. now.

jeepus. there he goes.

we waited & waited for the coppers. it rained. quit. rained some more. the firemen showed up. the ambulance for one of the other drivers. finally the coppers showed up, and carpooling coworker gave 'em the biz card with the name & insurance info. they go - what kind of car was it? what was the license plate? what was the driver's driver license number?

jeepus. what a pair of eejits.

we were like - um... a blue toyota. maybe. no license plate number. no driver's license number. just a biz card with no personal phone number on it and an insurance policy number scrabbled on the back. she gave it over, and they wrote a report, but they said it would probably end up being reported as a hit & run. from what we gathered, that meant the mysterious stranger would not be held responsible.

jeepus. what now.

nothing to do but to pack up & go. we took stock and couldn't find the biz card. appears that the police kept it. now carpooling coworker cannot even follow up with him. did the coppers think we made this up and that we were trying to blame it on some random dude? that we drove around in a car with scratches on the back bumper looking for a crash scene to horn in on so we could corner some imaginary dude and pull off an insurance fraud?

jeepus. let's get out of here.

well? turn on the car. what? it won't start? krimany! try again. try again. yes - again. again. again. again. get that copper & tell him it won't start. oh, that's a super attitude mr copper. thanks. thanks for NOTHING. try it again. again. again. maybe it's the security system. call your old man - i'll call my old man. hello? hello? those old men got NOTHING. try it again. again. what? what? my old man says maybe it's the battery.

jeepus. stranded.

i got out and jogged up 100 yds to the copper car and told him we needed a jump. he said he's got no jumper cables. i said maybe he could call that roadside assistance truck. he said yes, he could do that. i did not say - well, i am standing here in the rain, so it woulda been real keen of you to have maybe thought of that yourself. jog on back to the car.

jeepus. more waiting.

rain. cars whizzing by. rain stopped. WHO IS THAT FREAKER PULLING UP RIGHT BEHIND US? oh. wait. that's the roadside assistance guy. roll down the window [yes, the windows were still working]. hello? hello? we need a jump. good. fine. stop looking at my pretty legs and get your magic booster box. mr roadside ass guy gets his magic battery booster box & gets us started, walks by the window for a quick you're-good-to-go and another gander at my gams.

jeepus. let's get out of here.

on the road again and home in no time. funny how when you sit, it seems for ages, and then when you're moving again, it seems to be no time at all.

talk about your poor performance evaluation

what if your job is breaking the rules?

you follow the rules of your job by breaking the rules; ergo, you are not doing your rule-breaking job because you are actually not breaking the rule of your job, which is to break the rules.

if you break the rule of breaking the rules, then you are following the rules; ergo, you are not doing your rule-breaking job.

getting older is hell. don't let anyone tell ya any different.

some days are diamonds some days are stones.
sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone.
sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones.
some days are diamonds some days are stones.

now the face that i see in my mirror,
more and more is a stranger to me -
more and more i can see there's a danger
in becoming what i never thought i'd be.

some days are diamonds some days are stones.
sometimes the hard times won't leave me alone.
sometimes a cold wind blows a chill in my bones.
some days are diamonds some days are stones.

{~ john denver ~}

uverse rant [+ a wee bit o' ranting at my eejit self]

we switched to uverse from dishnetwork and were supposed to get a $125 cashback reward for the switch. i called in for the reward b/c the reward website was not wroking. the guy who answered phone said we are not eligible for $125 cash back b/c we did not switch from a cable internet provider. i said we were promised $125 and wanted $125. he said there was nothing he could do. i asked to talk to his supervisor and she said she could not process reward b/c we do not qualify. she said i could choose between $100 or nothing. i told her we would simply cancel the at&t services if we were going to quibble over $25. she repeated that she could not process a reward for which we do not qualify. i asked to talk to her supervisor. she said that there was no one who could process a reward for which we did not qualify. i asked her if she had a manager, and she said yes, she would get one. she put me on hold, and when she returned from hold, i accidentally hung up. d'oh! so, i called back and have currently been on hold for 10 minutes - the call has not been answered even preliminarily yet. OMG THEY JUST ANSWERED AND I HUNG UP AGAIN. WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT HANGS UP EVERY TIME?! this is ridiculous. anyway, as i was saying - it would be difficult to switch back to dishnetwork because we sent the freakin' equipment back. but we could switch back if this doesn't get settled!! OKAY. i am on hold again. let's see if i can answer the freakin' phone without hanging up this time.

UPDATE: called back. was on hold. hold was answered. requested my reward. heard, "no problem. $125 cash back. a check is in the mail. here's your confirmation number." i asked why something that had been so easy for her was impossible for everyone else. she said she didn't know, but it really wasn't that difficult. weird, eh? but, we shall see if we really get our reward.

today the day is half the month. and now the minute is one-seventh the hour.

a few days ago there were devastating earthquakes and tsunamis in the region of sumatra and samoa. in case you are not aware, sumatra is where coffee comes from, and in samoa, cookies grow on trees. hearing the real-life tragedy that has befallen these fine lands does take the dream-fog off and show them for what they are: homes. now, destroyed homes. so - say a prayer for the citizens of coffeeland and cookieland - may life come together for them again soon.

if the media tells a us over & over again that a quarterback is an excellent passer, do his receivers try harder, thus fulfilling the prophecy of excellence for the qb? if the media tells us the qb is poor, do the receivers try less & drop more b/c they know it's not their fault if the qb is poor? are the titans going to be the lions of the '09 season? did anyone realize that albert haynesworth was this important? and seriously, what are they going to do with all this pink shizzle?

i learned at work today that a colleague who i was aware did not exactly like me, in fact does not even respect me & believes i am an eejit. to that i say this: i got there first. heh. so there!

heard on npr a report of a recent study which proves that college guys who are entering the cafeteria, thus are hungry, are more attracted to fuller figured girls while those leaving the cafeteria find thinner girls more attractive. the theory stated was that these guys knew these girls would know where to find food, could lead them to food. i postulate that it's much simpler & more oedipal. that's all i am going to say about my theory. i am confident you can figure it out.

who is on my ipod:
a-ha
airborne toxic event
alkaline trio
all american rejects
amos lee
badly drawn boy
barenaked ladies
barry manilow
beatles
better than ezra
billy joel
black eyed peas
black rebel motorcycle club
the bravery
bush
coldplay
collective soul
counting crows
death cab for cutie
default
dropping daylight
eagle eye cherry
eagles
eve6
everlast
fall out boy
finger eleven
flaming lips
foo fighters
fuel
george strait
gomez
hanna-mceuen
hole
hoobastank
howie day
jakob dylan
jason mraz
jimmy buffett
john denver
josh rouse
joshua radin
kings of leon
kiss
lifehouse
live
marcy playground
mat kearney
motion city soundtrack
queen
the rasmus
ray lamontagne
sheryl crow
something corporate
staind
sublime
third eye blind
tom petty
tonic
tyrone wells
vertical horizon
3 de copas

today's breast cancer awareness in nfl - players wearing pink gloves & shoes & captain badges. one wonders - what happens to that stuff tomorrow?

last night, i learned a new concept. "talking". no - not as in having a convo with onesself or another person. i know about TALKING. what i am talking about here is "talking" which is a step before dating. i don't know what other stages there are besides "talking" and dating, but until last night, i didn't even know there was a step called "talking". when i heard about it from a high school kid, i texted mini-me who immediately confirmed "talking" is a well-known relationship stage. i don't know whether my not knowing this is a commentary on my being old & out of touch, or my not having done much "talking" and/or dating back in the day. instead, my modus operandi was a rather pathetic catch & release program. yeah, i won't bore you with the details, but "relationship" was not my fortay. my old man would probably tell you i'm still not all that good at it - heh - but, today marks the 20th anniversary of our official relationship and our 23.75th year together. that's a helluva lotta talking.

sukkot

this weekend is the jewish celebration of the festival of booths, or sukkot. to celebrate the historical significance of the wandering of the israelites in the wilderness for 40 years, jewish folk are instructed to build a fort in the backyard and live there for a few days. what a stellar celebration! it cannot be a tent because it's supposed to have a sort of open roof made of branches. it's got to be a sort of boxy thing - a booth - with a natural roof. you're supposed to be able to see the stars through, but if it starts to rain, you're supposed to cover the entire thing up and not use it. it's got to be open for it to satisfy the mitzvah. there is a lot to be said for a higher power who wants you to go sleep outside.

ace face space place

ace orders extra pickles.

ace does not like to wear a belt.

ace watches law & order.

ace prefers to paddle from the stern.

ace likes to hike in the woods.

ace drinks coffee with soy creamer.

ace listens to black rebel motorcycle club, jakob dylan, and alkaline trio.

ace uses a lot of lip balm.

ace plays scramble2, frequently.

ace writes real letters on real papers, infrequently.

happy new month!

rant of the day
this is a free country. you have a right to eat things that are unhealthy. you have the right to smoke cigarillos. you have the right to get drunk every day and never brush your teeth. HOWEVER, if you live an unhealthy lifestyle, you do not have the right to ask me to pay for your health care. if you are a driving risk, you pay more for car insurance. if you are a health risk, you pay more for health insurance. period. end of story.

answer of the day
from the chicago manual of style answer lady:
«
Q. I need help on how it would be easier to make a bibliography easier.
A. You could keep it short. You could find the references online and copy and paste them in so you don't have to type them. You could buy some software that helps format bibliographies. You could ask your mom to do it.
»
YOU COULD ASK YOUR MOM TO DO IT!! ppfahahaha!! you go answer lady - i love you!

quote of the day
from gmail: «"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." -- Kurt Cobain» i am just going to posit that being kurt cobain is a waste of being a person. except that would be unduly mean. plus, he's not being himself much these days, is he?

pet peeve of the day
people say schedule when they mean deadline. i am just catching on to this word foible. see, my job is to create schedules for my department's work. a schedule is a list of the steps one must follow to accomplish a completed project + the date that each of the steps is due. when my teammates ask for a schedule and want to know it RIGHT THEN, i sort of break out in a cold sweat b/c there are a number of factors that go into creating a schedule. it's not like i have to gather eye of newt and wait for the planets to align, but i do have to map out the steps and calculate the date for each based on standard intervals + unique needs of this project. it's not rockit skyence, but it's work. that is why they pay me for it. i am not going to know it BOOMP like that. but, today, based on context, i realized that they are asking for, not a schedule, but rather a deadline. hell, i can give 'em a deadline. take today's date, add three weeks. BOOMP. deadline. does it fit in with the schedule? i have no freakin' idea, but bygod, it's a deadline so there ya go buddy.


wrong number of the day
several years ago i started getting calls from creditors looking for "lance". they called & called & called. i finally quit answering, and they left myriad messages. i had pages & pages of notes with dates that they called & numbers they called from. then, it quit. i kept the notes for a few years, but then i believe i threw them out. guess who called tonight? you know the punch line. capital management services, looking for ol' lance. the problem here is that lance needs to get his own phone.