in standard editions of monopoly the bank has $15,140 in cash. in standard editions of ace, the bank has not $15,140 in cash.

so... that funny sound the slingshot was making was a cry for help - she needed brakes. she's got expensive tastes and wanted a $500 brake job. silly little slingshot - you think we ain't got nothing better to spend our dubloons on than $500 brake jobs? so i went to the vaults and got some dubloons.

eh?

i went to the credit union and withdrew some funds in the form of a check made out to myself. took that check to the bank to make the deposit to cover the ransom note for little slingshot. this particular bank branch is at the front of a grocery store, so that the bank tellers are on a veritable open stage to the cash-out lines. the tellers are invariably young men and are invariably performing for the shoppers. intense, competitive, scenery-chewing performance conversations that grind on to the point that it is exceedingly difficult to get the participants' attention long enough to conduct a simple trasaction of the sort the institution was founded to conduct. it's as tedious as the previous sentence.

i finally managed to get one young man's attention, and i asked for an ink pen. «we only have lead pens here.» - he said. then - i kid you not - he turned to his co-teller and the folks cashing out as would a performer gathering applause. only then did he manage to hand me an ink pen.

i endorsed the check and under my name wrote my account number. «oh! don't ever, ever do that!» - he said. «do you know why?» - he asked. jeez, man, no - but i am sure you're going to tell me. he proceeded to tell me that one should never write one's account number on the back of one's checks because the bank provides scanned images of the fronts & backs of checks to its account holders. putting your account number on the back of your check means your account number will appear in this scanned image.

- - i said - «you are speaking of the images that are available to me when i have logged into my account online?»
- - he said - «exactly!»
- - i said - «don't you think that if someone has logged into my account, they have all the information they need already?»
- - he said - i kid you not - «you can never be too careful!»

um... okay, yeah, maybe -- but you CAN be too stupid.