every time that i look in the mirror, all these lines on my face getting clearer... the past is gone. it went by like dusk to dawn.

this morning's run

sunny & 54º at the start... sunny & 61º at the end. 10 miles in 1:45. no walking.

what is inside

when i shared with you my anger,
you diffused it with your humor,
with your wit and with your levity,
you took away the power
that i needed
to bring change.

when i shared my disappointment,
you mitigated past it,
rationalized through it,
and robbed me of the pretext
that i needed
to evolve.

when i shared where i was hurting,
you started in to heal it,
with your psychic salves & tonics,
smothering the pain
that i needed
to be real.

so now i will not tell you
when i'm hurting,
when i sorrow,
when my anger grows inside me
like a cancer in my soul.
because i need my anguish,
my distress,
and tribulation.
i am not always happy,
and you cannot make it so.

okay, okay.... let's wrap this up

a couple days ago, we reviewed a list of 25 skills every guy should master, according to popular mechanics, and yesterday, i went over part of the list, indicating which items i thought should be included on a list of lifeskills that every grown adult person should master. i'm going to try to go ahead and wrap this up by providing a list of 25 lifeskills every adult should master. i am just going to run down the list here without explanations. if you have questions, comments, objections, deletions, additions, or in any way do not understand and/or wish to change the list, leave a comment which i will ignore. these are not necessarily in order of importance.

every adult should know how to:

- swim
- manually propel a watercraft
- protect a computer, including disaster prevention & data back up
- sharpen a knife
- back up a car, truck, and trailer
- build & light a campfire
- fix a flat tire -- on both bicycle & automobile
- navigate with a map & compass
- perform cpr
- maneuver a car out of a skid
- get a car unstuck
- patch a radiator hose
- wash, dry, & fold clothes
- pitch a tent
- prepare & cook a hot meal
- repair torn clothing, popped seams, loose or lost buttons
- make hotel, airplane, & rental car reservations
- prepare & keep a monthly household budget
- balance a checkbook
- build a treehouse
- cut [another person's] hair
- clean & bandage a shallow wound, blister, or scrape
- read an analog watch
- make change
- write a personal or business letter, address an envelope or package

25 skills every grown person should master

a couple days ago, we reviewed a list of 25 skills every guy should master, according to popular mechanics. it is an interesting list, but i disagree that some of the items are worthy -- items that i have, and items that i have not, mastered. the audience for popular mechanics is mostly male, so we will forgive their direction of the list towards guys; however, there are some lifeskills that every grown adult person should master. [okay, okay, every adult living in modern society. i do believe you know what i mean here. sheesh.]

• paddle a canoe - this could come in handy not only for one's amusement, but also in cases of flood. yes, this is a good one.
• extend your wireless network - uh... hire this one out.
• back up computer data - if you have a personal computer in your home, you should have mastered this basic skill.
• paint a room - not necessary for one's survival, but a worthy skill, perhaps.
• sharpen a knife - yes. this one stays on.
• retouch digital photos - no. not really a necessary lifeskill.
• back up a trailer - yes.
• build a campfire - yes, for both the enjoyment & emergency survival aspects.
• protect your computer - again, if you have a personal computer in your home, you should have mastered this skill -- that is, you should not own a personal computer if you cannot do this.
• rescue a boater who has capsized - yes.

that concludes a review of the portion of the list that i have mastered. next time, we'll look at the other parts of the list, and perhaps construct a list of our own. are you excited?

to whom it may concern

1. The size of your sales report doesn't correspond to the size of your manhood.

2. When you are talking to each other, face each other. It's a conversation, not a performance.

I am a captive audience, trapped between my non-organic oatmeal in the microwave and your combined 600 pounds of too-much-time-sitting-in-an-office-chair flesh, blocking the coffee maker. You can pretend that my captivity is a reflection of my interest in your pathetic little sales reporting lives, but if you do not remove your oxford & khaki clad bulk from the vicinity of the coffee maker so that I may get some coffee... well, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

25 skills every guy should master

the oct 2007 issue of popular mechanics lists 25 skills every guy should master. i'd argue some skills vital to modern manliness are missing, and i'll cover that in another post. i'd also argue that all adults, not only men, should have a handle on at least half these skills. i've listed the skills below, grouped by my own personal expertise. the first group are skills i've mastered. the second, skills i've been taught, but not yet mastered. the third group is the i have no freakin' idea group. how do you measure up?

paddle a canoe
extend your wireless network
back up computer data
paint a room
sharpen a knife
retouch digital photos
back up a trailer
build a campfire
protect your computer
rescue a boater who has capsized

fix a bike flat
navigate with a map & compass
perform cpr
maneuver a car out of a skid
get a car unstuck
change oil & filter

patch a radiator hose
frame a wall
fix a dead outlet
use a torque wrench
fillet a fish
mix concrete
clean a bolt action rifle
hook up hdtv
bleed brakes

smashin' fashion

how do people swing the purchase of various clothing & accessory pieces? this picture shows a purse costing $395. what money is there left to put into this pricey bag? and, say you put an ink pen in the bag, and said ink pen burstalized. criminy. $395 inked. the pants in this pic are $95, and to me, they look for the world like my blue light specials - $14.99. the jacket, $350. they don't mention the shirt, so it's probably hanes her way - heaven forefend they deign to mention the tee shirt. the belt... $1freakin9freakin8. geeyah. the shoes are $250, which for some unknown reason, seems reasonable.

it's not really a question of how, i suppose -- i know how they swing these purchases. they may receive stellar paychecks, but they more likely charge the purchases. the question, really, is why.

it's september. it's saturday. it's football. real football, not electric football. silly, silly.

the play-by-play person on the broadcast of the university of south florida versus north carolina game is a woman. fascinating. her name is pam ward, and she's been in broadcasting for years, doing play-by-play for about 10 years. paid her dues as a sideline reporter, then went to espn's senior vp, asked about doing play-by-play. he said.... "okay". sometimes all you have to do is ask, eh?

the university of tennessee is off to a 1-2 start this season, but players & coaches alike assure that it won't be a repeat of the 5-6 2005 season. it could be 4-7, 3-8, 2-9. none of those would be repeats of 2005.

titans are headed to new orleans for this coming monday night's football game against the saints. also headed nola's way: the first hurricane since katrina.

cortland finnegan, titans' cornerback & all around good guy, donates $50 per tackle and $100 per interception to leukemia & lymphoma foundation. 12 tackles plus 1 interception so far this year adds up to $700 donation. finnegan's got a hamstring injury and is questionable for monday's game. awww.

ut plays tonight at 7pm versus arkansas state. should be a win, eh? that would put them even on the season. vandy's at 2-1, having beat richmond & ole miss, with a loss to bamalama. the dores are off this week, facing eastern michigan next week. looks like a solid chance for 3-1, eh?

it is yom kippur, a holiday of which i have little knowledge.

yom kippur is a complete sabbath; no work can be performed on that day. it is well-known that you are supposed to refrain from eating and drinking (even water) on yom kippur. It is a complete, 25-hour fast beginning before sunset on the evening before yom kippur and ending after nightfall on the day of yom kippur. the talmud also specifies additional restrictions that are less well-known: washing and bathing, anointing one's body (with cosmetics, deodorants, etc.), wearing leather shoes (orthodox jews routinely wear canvas sneakers under their dress clothes on yom kippur), and engaging in sexual relations are all prohibited on yom kippur. - from jewfaq.org

wake up, little buddy!

clean up your room!

a fire in an asbury, nj apt bldg was made worse by the clutter in the 14th floor apt where the fire started. so -- pick up your shoes!! don't exacerbate the conflagration!!

garth brooks has this new song on the radio, but he retired forever from music a few years back, so perhaps this song is not music? hmmm.....

speaking of music, have you heard of chris cornell? he was on leno. he has sold like 20 million records worldwide. the song started out okay, but deteriorated into repetitive gratingness. turns out, 20 million people can be wrong.

yeah, yeah... slow news day, eh? right.

i love my little igoogle buddy

isn't he the sweetest thing? he lives in the igoogle teahouse, and he is busy all day long. he picks oranges & rows his boat & hangs up his laundry & eats his snackies & sings to his little bird friends. when he sleeps at night, he lights a sweet little pot of coals to keep the bugs away. he is darling, darling, darling.

greetings from the beanery -- where the wireless is bold, and the coffee is free. wait... strike that - reverse it.

the hospital near my residence recently closed off a road to create a parking lot. they wisely chose to use this sign to demarcate the road...









a wise choice indeed, considering that for a hospital road, this choice would be poor:















right.

if the zebra had no stripes, would she be a horse?

the powerball switched from the popup pingpong ball number-drawing system to a computerized system last month, and so far, we have one programming error, one trigger-happy lottery number sender, and one so-called misprint. the programming error resulted in certain numbers not even being available at all for the drawings. the trigger-happy sender emailed test numbers to be broadcast and before the real numbers were drawn. and, the misprint declared the powerball payoff to be $29 mill when it was really $15 mill. all errors have resulted in refunds.

how many errors happened with the popup pingpong ball system? oh... approximately zero. [if it ain't broke, don't fix it.]

why did they switch? to eliminate errors & save money. [well, now... that's worked out well, hasn't it?]

if the possibility for errors is this high, what's the potential for hacking? i mean, if they can't even draw or email the numbers correctly, how can they possibly keep the system secure? [criminy.]

just a few thoughts on sunday

while at the grocery yesterday, i purchased the latest issue of popular mechanics. the lead story is 25 skills every man should know. it's shizzle like change a tire, frame a wall, sharpen a blade, back up a trailer, install hdtv, and whatnot. being the good american male that i am, i figured i should study up on these items. right.

titans v colts in about 30 mins. i am wearing the new titans shirt i got from the kmart bargain bin and feeling very snazzy.

currently in possession of several overdue liberry boox. might take a jaunt to the facility tomorrow. it always feels like this huge pile of outrageously overdue boox, and i am like... jeepers, i will probably have to take out a loan to pay off the fines... and they calculate all the fines... and they are like, that will be $4.30... and i am like, no way!... and they are like, way!... and i am like, that is cheaper than purchasing even one book or even say an issue of popular mechanics... and they are like, yeah - could you just pay your fine? thanks.

books 2007

night work - laurie r. king
glass castle - jeannette walls
cross - james patterson
the kite runner - khaled hosseini
with child - laurie r. king
the bookseller of kabul - åsne seierstad
bridget jones's diary - helen fielding
bridget jones: the edge of reason - helen fielding
how to be good - nick hornby
about a boy - nick hornby
olivia joules & the overactive imagination - helen fielding
a series of unfortunate events vol. 1-12 - lemony snicket
high fidelity - nick hornby
a long way down - nick hornby
the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime - mark haddon
the nightspinners - lucretia walsh grindle
the last days of dogtown - anita diamant
the end - lemony snicket
special topics in calamity physics - marisha pessl
hp6 - jk rowling
hp7 - jk rowling
the senator & the priest - andrew greeley
the art of detection - laurie r. king
life as we knew it - susan beth pfeffer
remainder - tom mccarthy
artemis fowl - eoin colfer
currently - irish linen - andrew greeley

mystery, smells, & faeries

remember how i sent the mystery answer watch off to the watch doctor? well, they couldn't fix it... but... they sent another one. happy dance! happy dance! that watch doctor is the best. they sent the broken one back and sent another one. stellar. so, now i have 2 mystery answer watches, although one doesn't have indiglo - duh, that is why i sent it off in the first place. there might be times one doesn't require indiglo. like, in the daytime. right.

remember the softsoap dispenser with the plastic parrot inside? it was filled with clear softsoap that smelled like soap from brigadoon. in a fit of excitement, i purchased a large container of the stuff. smell is the sense most closely tied to memory. it was going to be stellar. constant brigadoonalization. well, you probably know the punchline -- after a couple weeks of the stuff, the magic wore off... leaving just plain soap. sadness.

remember how i was reading artemis fowl? well, i am not anymore -because i finished it. it's a pretty good little read. reminiscent of faerie wars, but that could be caused by my having read faerie wars a few years ago. at any rate - they both contain fairies, so there you have it.

doh!

almost turned on the simpsons just now, but having not watched a single episode of that show... ever... i concluded that i am simply not up to the challenge - and, may never be. the ginormity of the task looms over me.

there are episodes upon episodes, years & years of shows to watch, all laden with references that have become part of the popular culture. the fact is, i don't really want to watch the shows -- i simply yearn to know the references.

i need the cliff's note to the simpsons.

what is the plural of series, anyway? oh, and don't forget about heroes, oh-yeah!

watched the season finale of the closer last night. that is really a good show, and a plus for it was that it had new episodes in the summertime when other shows are in reruns. looks like some of the seasons are starting at the end of sept, which is soooo late, and of course, 24 doesn't begin until january. this fall, rules of engagement is back - yay david spade! csi: will be fabulous, of course, leading off with the search for sarah. in case you forgot, we left sarah lying in the mud & rain, pinned under a car at the end of last season, and grissom doesn't even know where she is! oooo!! the new series chuck and bionic woman and journeyman and big bang theory all look promising, but so many series look promising in the previews. fox has a new comedy called back to you with patricia heaton & kelsey grammar, and he's just a funny guy. there are trailers for most of these shows on youtube, so you can go find 'em there for your entertainification. and, if you don't think there's enough time to watch all the shows, get yerself a tivo machine & a smooth veejay like i have. no, you cannot have mine. he's all mine. get your own. you heard me. that's right. get your own. uh-huh. that's right.

i could leave, but i'll just stay. all my stuff's here anyway.

wonder if i'd like an entire bare nekked ladies cd, or if i just happen to like that one song.

currently contemplating cleaning my notebook screen with my own human spit. not sure if that would be good for the screen, in the long run, but the images are all freckled with the proliferation of grimespots. ick.

currently reading artemis fowl.

steadfastly refusing to make the requisite trite remarks about
"what day it is".

that is all.

dressing for success

watching the titans v jaguars, and so far, there have been 2 bad calls against the titans' defense with the result being that they are now cautious about tackling, and that's not really what you want in your defense. jaguars' coach jack del rio is in a suit, and looks sharp. del rio and 49er's head coach mike nolan have requested & received exemptions from the nfl-reebok dress code and are allowed to wear suits at all 8 home games. nolan is working towards being allowed to wear a suit for all games - home & away. then, there is bill belichick & his fashion nonstatement. reebok has no problem with belichick's outfit. here's a pic of nolan & del rio together, and then belichick in his cut off sleeve hoodie. which do you think looks better?

books 2007

night work - laurie r. king
glass castle - jeannette walls
cross - james patterson
the kite runner - khaled hosseini
with child - laurie r. king
the bookseller of kabul - åsne seierstad
bridget jones's diary - helen fielding
bridget jones: the edge of reason - helen fielding
how to be good - nick hornby
about a boy - nick hornby
olivia joules & the overactive imagination - helen fielding
a series of unfortunate events vol. 1-12 - lemony snicket
high fidelity - nick hornby
a long way down - nick hornby
the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime - mark haddon
the nightspinners - lucretia walsh grindle
the last days of dogtown - anita diamant
the end - lemony snicket
special topics in calamity physics - marisha pessl
hp6 - jk rowling
hp7 - jk rowling
the senator & the priest - andrew greeley
the art of detection - laurie r. king
life as we knew it - susan beth pfeffer
remainder - tom mccarthy
currently reading.... haven't actually decided what to read next. maybe artemis fowl, or maybe another andrew greeley

34567. stellar.

three things on the docket for this weekend:
1. balance checkbook & pay bills.
2. run 10 miles.
3. clean house.

did #1 on wednesday. did #2 last evening. finished #3 this morning.

currently just sitting around, considering the merits of taking a nap.

just call me miss south carolina

it's not wednesday. it's thursday. maybe it's wednesday on thursday, but it's not tuesday on wednesday. you can see from my previous post, i was suffering from monday-holiday induced confusion. if i could pick, i'd put all the holidays on friday, so that sunday stays sunday, and the week starts on monday like it is supposed to. but, who is going to turn down a holiday? i am certainly not going to turn down a holiday simply because it is on monday. but it frogs the hula out of the week, does it not?

it's tuesday on wednesday

why do politicians think it's a good thing to say i don't know how the system works, like they are all innocent babes in the washington woods. criminy, people, i don't know how the system works. your job is to work the system for me. i kinda need you to know how the system works. that would be a plus, see? right.

glad that fred finally jumped in the race to squashé the competition.

today's new gift on facebook

is a lily of the valley, but i sewannee i thought it was another plant at first glance. not that the lily looks anything like that other plant or that i know anything about that other plant at all, really. what other plant? are there other plants in the world? what the hula are you talking about?? criminy.

fancy sonic feast

fancy feast bills itself as restaurant inspired food for cats. there are no cat-restaurants. which people-restaurant is inspiring this cat food? ick.

have you seen the new sonic commershal for popcorn chicken? it's got those 2 guys in the car. you can see some of their stuff on youtube. anyhooo - this new commershal, the driver guy is like i love to toss popcorn chicken in my mouth like this... and he tosses a piece into his mouth. the passenger guy goes i am terrible at that... and he acts like he's going to toss a piece in his mouth, but instead, he just chucks it at the driver. the driver's all like hey, dude! but the passenger guy just keeps "trying" to hit his mouth and is like slamming the chicken at the driver. it's really hilarious.

cats eat chicken... maybe sonic is the inspiration for fancy feast.

books 2007

night work - laurie r. king
glass castle - jeannette walls
cross - james patterson
the kite runner - khaled hosseini
with child - laurie r. king
the bookseller of kabul - åsne seierstad
bridget jones's diary - helen fielding
bridget jones: the edge of reason - helen fielding
how to be good - nick hornby
about a boy - nick hornby
olivia joules & the overactive imagination - helen fielding
a series of unfortunate events vol. 1-12 - lemony snicket
high fidelity - nick hornby
a long way down - nick hornby
the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime - mark haddon
the nightspinners - lucretia walsh grindle
the last days of dogtown - anita diamant
the end - lemony snicket
special topics in calamity physics - marisha pessl
hp6 - jk rowling
hp7 - jk rowling
the senator & the priest - andrew greeley
the art of detection - laurie r. king
currently reading life as we knew it - susan beth pfeffer

what's the score, buddy?

5k - 25:25. 10k - 58:12.

here we are in the middle of golf & nascar & baseball seasons, with football heating up. tennis: us open. track & field: world meets in osaka. deer & dove seasons start in the next couple weeks. high school & college - cross country, soccer, volleyball. sports, sports, & more sports. what does the local paper choose as the lead story for the sports section? titans tatoos. that's right - above-the-fold color picture feature story on the team's tatoos. i got nothin' against tatts. seriously, it's all good, man. whatever. the problem is that this is the feature of the eensie-teensie sports section -- a section whose stories already give short shrift to the big time sports, not to mention college or high school sports.

track & falled

have you been watching the world track & field championships? did you see the 1200m men's relay? don't you agree that men of that caliber should be able to stay out of each other's way? criminy. great britain's 3rd leg guy tripped on germany's 2nd leg guy or some such chaos. didn't matter, though, because the usa team was way, way, way out in front of them all. bravo!

greetings from september

just got back from riding the harley to the office. yay! getting there took an hour. boo! may not be quite ready for that daily commute, eh?

yesterday's games -- vandy beat richmond 41-10. ut lost to california 41-35. both of the winning teams scored 41 points. the significance of that number escapes me at present.

speedy & i did the 16-miler yesterday, and in a stellar move, i inadvertantly turned it into an 18-miler. once again covered the 16 in 2:45 or so. not really speedy, eh? right. the last 2, we walked, because those were unexpected anyway.

time to balance the checkbook. or, maybe take a nap.