happy new dayweekmonthyeardecade

just realized this morning that tomorrow will be not only a new day and a new month and a new year but also a new decade - plus, if you are swahili, tomorrow will be a new week because in swahili the day begins at sunrise rather than ending at sunset, and so the day is offset by twelve hours from the arabic and hebrew calendars, so saturday is the first day of the week because it is the day which includes the first night of the week.

we are jealous of that which belongs to us; we envy that which is another's.

so this wanker rupert everett, in an interview with bbc4, slammed jennifer aniston, saying she's not a good actress but she still gets work because she's in some sort of inner circle. whatever, rupe. envious old hag. here's a pic of rupe and jennifer. clearly, jennifer is all that and rupert is a bag of chips.


here's what rupert said:
"If you look and analyze the careers of many, many stars, you'll find that they're mostly sustained by the business," Everett said. "You'll find there's lots of women and lots of men in the business that the powers that be decide are right for their business, and they'll stand with them for quite a long time.

"OK, something will go wrong, like Jennifer Aniston will have one too many total flops, but she's still a member of that club," Everett continued. "And she will still manage to -- like a star forming in the universe, things will swirl around her and it will suddenly solidify into another vital tasteless rom-com, a little glitter next to the Crab Nebula."

kvetching nebbish.

so i am a jennifer aniston fan, but even if you're not, you've got to hear the sour grapes in that little tidbit. where is this swirling glitter-filled exclusive club? well clearly, hollywood is not returning rupert's calls.

i do think that ol' jenn - yes, at 42, she's old. - can act but i do see how one might think that she cannot. i mean, she does tend to play the same character over & over, but that's no sign she can't act - it's just a sign she can pick the right projects. notice that when she plays that same character over & over, she does it genuinely. she's never stilted or wooden, never flat. she always brings a warm three dimensions to the large or small screen. in a lot of ways, she's reminiscent of sandra bullock. both comes off as the real deal - each is who she appears to be. or maybe they both have me completely snowed. they are actors after all. still, i wouldn't mind if either one lived next door. we could go jogging, you know, or take our netbooks to the starbux and hangout. yeah....

this & that

did i mention that we're trying to simplify? yeah, well here's my query: is it simpler to have one pair of mittens to keep up with or is it simpler to have a pair for each jacket, a mitten in every pocket, and never have to keep up with them at all? having fewer possessions is inherently simpler, but does having fewer make life more complex, adding a layer of tension - "where are my mittens?" - that having more possessions would mitigate?

i saw a commercial today for cisco umi telepresence. what is umi? it's a television-based video calling system which i presciently predicted here. okay so umi was around when i posted that post, but still & all, had YOU heard of it? well? had you? the only difference between umi and what i was describing is that umi is one-to-one. i am fairly certain "umi" is "you and me". GET IT??

because the house is still under assault from the painters, we unplugged the wifi and uverse to stash all the equipment away from the dust and so we have spent the evening in a bit of refugee status, drifting around town with our internet access devices, searching for free wifi. we landed at casa des inlaws where there's wifi, hidef, and keurig. in case you don't know, a keurig is a single-cup drip coffee maker that is like a toy and a coffee maker. you just turn in on and pop in a pod and press a button and out comes coffee. and, not just coffee - there's hot cocoa, tea, and coffee, and you can also do iced tea by putting a glass of ice under the dispenser with a pod of tea. it's great for the inlaws who have like a cup a day. it wouldn't really work for us as we drink coffee by the pot, and at 50¢/pod, the cost runs up pretty quickly. but it's a fun toy.

pizza? again?

SO.

the exciting news of the day is that i am going to get started getting back in shape. no, really.

REALLY.

i mean, like, after today because today i am sitting in starbux drinking a skinny cimmanon dolce latte - in which skinny probably means like only 98% of the calories of the fat one.

ANYWAY.

today's not the day, but tomorrow is a distinct possibility. tomorrow will be my first day back at work after this long holication. back in the work routine = back in the work out routine. at least until friday when we have another holiday. that gives me two whole days to establish my new habits, to lay in a solidly solid foundation.

RIGHT.

what it is, is that i see all the dolls in their leggins and boots and their cute little sweaters and i want that look and i know i can have that look. some people like to exercise to get in shape because it's healthy. some people like to exercise because they just like to exercise. for me personally, it's all about The Look.

The Look

WHAT?

anorexia is out because it'll blow you right past The Look and into The Land Of Brittle Hair And Rotted Teeth, and it's a proven fact that brittle hair and rotted teeth are singularly unattractive. smoking is a weight loss aid, but again you have the tooth issues with additionally the breath issues and the yellow finger of fate issues. not good. diet pills are a pretty good option - they don't have a lot of appearance-based side effects. well, unless you count death. dead is a pretty big turn off for most people and even if there are folks who find you attractive in death -- you're not going to get to enjoy their attentions in that state, are you now? pluswise, diet pills make me hungry.

SO.

i'm open to suggestions but from here it seems a deep commitment to being truly healthy is my quickest and most reliable route to shallow beauty.

in conclusion, we're ordering pizza.

yahoo!'s shine e-mag lists food trend predictions for 2011:

the food hall - where mall food court meets whole foods, you have the food hall. the concept is an import from europe and is currently developing on the coastal cities - NYC, LA, DC. spaces include retail fresh food and flowers, wine, prepared gourmet selections, specialty foods, cookware, and home design pieces. food is available from open kitchens, offered in both dine-in and take-away stations, and in some cases, in eating areas that seat up to 100 people. it's sort of a glamourous version of the typical high school cafeteria. the element that makes this fad a fad is its uniqueness so look for popularity to completely crush this fad.

korean cuisine - you may have heard that koreans eat dog meat, but this is an old-fashioned practice that is not much in favor today. personally, i don't see why we're so squeamish about dogs if we're willing to eat cows, pigs, chickens, ducks, turkeys, and all sorts of fish, but hey, we're squeamish so there you have it. BUT - no worries, a visit to your local korean restaurant will NOT feature puppyburgers. no. instead you will find double-fried chicken and ribs marinated in korea's signature smoky-spicy-sweet sauces along with kimchi, a pickled & marinated vegetable dish that's a staple of the korean diet. look for this fad to work its way into the mainstream and gain entry on the tgi friday's menu where it will fade into normalcy.


macaroons - just as i learned that pie is the new cupcake, it's move over pie, here comes macaroons! a big attraction of this pastry is that it's gluten-free - made from ground almonds or almond paste, sugar, and egg whites. the light and flaky confection can be flavored in different ways, but in the end it's just another cookie. look for this fad to fade quickly, as this emperor is scantily clad.


meatless mondays - more people are going veggie, either full- or part-time. this isn't so much a trend as a grassroots change in eating patterns. this is no fad and so don't look for it to fade.

foraging - top chefs are going beyond the farmer's market and heading into the woods in search of wild greens, nuts, berries, and even bark. salad made of lily pad shoots and dessert featuring wild violets are all the rage in the big cities. lord knows where big city chefs are getting lily pads - the fountain at the plaza hotel?? anyhoo - the prediction is that the foraging trend will go from restaurant to kitchen table in the coming year, and if this happens, i predict we'll see a rise in emergency room visits by people eating the bad mushrooms. look for this fad to be translated for us common folk in the form of a few New & Exciting Bins in the publix produce department.

tiki-bar cocktails - yawn. high school reunions notwithstanding, jack and coke trumps a tiny little umbrella every time in the heartland. look for this trend to die out on the coasts before it ever reaches budweiser country.


pop-up cafés - not to be confused with pop-tart cafés, these are the food trucks of the future. roaming chefs enjoy greater flexibility because they're not tied to a set menu and a set location. these travelling kitchens broadcast their ever-changing venue through twitter, facebook, and good old-fashioned word of mouth. look for this trend to grow and spread as the cost, in both dollars and chef's freedom, of setting up shop in a set location continues to rise.


sweet potatoes - the sweet potato fry is as much a staple of the urban grille scene as the sweet potato casserole is to the thanksgiving-day table. the sweet potato packs a nutritional wallop in a delicious package. as folks embrace more meat-free options, look for the sweet potato to rise in popularity.

urban wineries - from what i can tell, this trend involves folks fermenting their own grape juice. with good wines readily available on the cheap, this fad will not catch on. making your own wine from raw grapes is a pain in the arse. look for this fad to result in a huge spike in sales of home wine making kits during 2011, with a corresponding huge drop-off soon thereafter, followed closely by a multitude of unopened home wine making kits for sale on craigslist.

pimentón de la vera - a smoky form of paprika. if you only sprinkle this red spice on top of your deviled eggs, you probably won't be able to tell the difference, but if you're into slow roasted meats, la vera is probably already on your shopping list. look for this trend to play out as an addition which will become a long-time member of the spice shelf at publix or spice bin row at your local fresh market.

this concludes foodie trends for 2011. thank you for tuning in!

define: boxing day

we've been to see two movies in two days which averages to 1 movie per day which is well above our average of like 1/365th of a movie per day. last night we saw the fighter which i'd say is well worth seeing if only for the presence of mark wahlberg, aka marky mark sans the funky bunch. let's just say ol' marky mark has aged well.

here micky is wearing shorts emblazoned with "mickey" but he soon makes clear the correct spelling has no "e".

this movie is based on the true story of a half-brother boxing duo out of lowell, massachusetts in the mid-80s. marky mark portrays the younger micky ward and christian bale portrays dicky eklund, the elder brother. they are 2 of like a half million irish siblings who live either with or near their extremely domineering and somewhat slutty mother. dicky and micky are the only boys in the brood, and the painfully plain-faced sisters form a screeching greek chorus who plaintively reiterate their mother's constant martyred wailing as she bemoans dicky's useless drug-addicted existence and micky's defiant pursuit of his own boxing career free of the anchor of his family's weighty influence. it's got the underdog, blue collar theme seen in such movies as the rocky series, good will hunting, and saturday night fever. the bad-news-bears-esque cheesy triteness is mitigated by its being a true story.

last night's cinema crowd was sparse at the late showing - there were maybe 20 folks sharing the screen with us - which would usually be a bonus but in this case was a bit of a detriment. whereas you never want to spend your good money to be burdened with a bunch of yakking wankers, a large group pulling together for the underdog generates energy that can enhance a storyline rife with competition, betrayal, and hard-earned success. this movie won't lose much when transferred to the small screen, and in this case didn't gain much from the cinema setting. not to say that we regret having gone, especially considering the fact that 2 of our 3 tickets were free.

free? yes. junior had graciously provided 2 coupons for $6 off the regular ticket price of $10. i explained to one ticket seller twice and another ticket seller once that our total cost should be $18, but both separately requested we pay $10. so, that's what we paid. $10 for the movie and $2.50 for our popcorn bucket refill and $5 for a few ounces of coca-cola, bringing the total to a bit more than half the usual cost for 3 tickets and well within the range of reasonable for a couple hours's entertainment. not that it would have been disappointing at full price, but getting the bargain adds to the fun.

true grit

we went to see true grit and while i wouldn't say it's a "must see" i would definitely say it's worth seeing, if you see what i mean there. do you see what i mean? do you see what i mean? li'l shout out to xmash caroling, harhar.

okay, so, true grit. the classic john wayne version, made in 1969, apparently won john wayne an oscar to which i would have to say, really? i mean, c'mon. really? that movie is a tribute to acting so broad it could span the grand canyon, to scenery chewing that would put violet beauregard's gum noshing to shame, to direction so lame it needs crutches. crutches and a boot, to boot.

this true grit is not that true grit. in this one, the humour is more subtle which of course makes it funnier. the only problem with the subtlety occurs when jeff bridges as rooster cogburn is doing his drunk act and you can't understand what he's slurring about. but that's only a line or two, and really more the fault of the sound guy or the directors or the producers or somebody else. i mean, somebody should have told him to speak the hell up.

but that's just a small thing really. it's a very good movie. hailee steinfeld as mattie ross is exceptional. because this version revolves around the mattie character, the role requires a strong actor and because the direction creates subtle interplay between characters, mattie must be played by someone with a sense of wit and timing. hailee's the whole package. the john wayne version was centered on wayne's character, rooster cogburn, and because both movies are based on the book true grit which is told from the point-of-view of 14 yr old mattie, the current movie is truer to the book. being true to the book isn't a prerequisite for a good movie, but in this case, the truer version is the better.

livebloggin from the b&n café

do they have electrical outlets in this place? my battery is running down. yes, i am that person crawling around the b&n starbux looking for a place to plug in while mini-me and my old man are doing some solsticefest gift buying. back at the ranch, the painters are still painting, and while their working precludes lounging at the house, it also provides a convenient excuse for not preparing foodstuffs for the various celebrati we shall be attending. it's sort of a "that's good, that's bad" situation. or, "that's bad, that's good" if you will.

b&n is a bit wacked out. they rearranged all the shelves, so that now where there formerly was reference there is currently new manga and role playing. completely different audiences...

wait. what?

i have no idea. that was like 14 hours ago. why are you asking me about that now? sheesh. don't you ever sleep?

this was supposed to post yesterday but it didn't so now it's a bonus post.

good things come in small packages.

it's a bengals christmas.

sitting here in panera because we had to leave the house because it's full of painters all tearing down wallpaper and removing popcorn ceilings and prepping and painting. every time we take down a window treatment, my old man's like, are we saving this one?, and if i say, no, he says, where are we going to get the money for new ones, and if i say, yes, he says, yuck i don't like it and it won't match the new colours. it is this type of intelligent and playful banter that makes household jobs so fun. speaking of colours, the colour we're auditioning for the kitchen is called ash violet. i direct you again to sherwin williams's online site for a viewing.

this guy is politely holding the door for some young women to come into panera and the thing is that he is impolitely bathing those of us inside with cold air. you can see right there a tipping point between polite and impolite but he could not see it because the young women were wearing really short skirts.

skip ahead several hours.

i am now watching junior and my old man play wii canoeing. it's almost like real canoeing, only completely not. have you ever played wii? back in the day, we had the matchbox which was a homemade electronic game. when you are the progeny of an electrical engineer, you get homemade electronic games. later we got a pong, which in case you don't know was the first ever video game. then we got an atari which i don't remember ever using and as far as i know that was the end of the video game road, probably because we didn't play with them. i don't understand the appeal. do you? if so, please enlighten me. thanks.

don't get so hung up on the "title" thing.

sitting here in the bux listening to white christmas in what sounds like cherokee. where do they get their music? i am sitting here b/c my old man went to work out and i went with him yesterday and it bout did me in. you know, i remember being out of pain and being in shape so i know i can get there again, although with every passing day i get not that much closer but rather more older & further away -- but the point is that i remember what it's like to be in shape, so i have confidence i can get back there. what do people do who were never in shape? is it any wonder they just wallow around in their fatiosity? i mean, i am looking at a long road back here, a loooong road, but i can see the reward, understand the reward, have held the reward in my hands. i know that it's something i want to have again and i understand what it takes to have it and i'm willing to do the work because i have faith (shout out to jeff!) that it will pay off.

so the head painter guy, the one that owns the company, has been sick for a few days. awww, gots a cold? no. kidney freaking stones. uh, ouch. a crew of two showed up today and managed to paint the foyer and finish up a few bits & pieces. the color in the foyer is "kiln beige" and according to the mr painterman, it's the most popular colour around these parts. let me tell you why: it's boring. bee-yor-wrink! my old man was like, so do you like this colour?, and i was like, that is not a colour. black is the absence of all light and white is the absence of all pigment. kiln beige is the absence of absences - it is the great featureless void.

i think all the colours we were picking were making mr painterman nervous. as if it would not be a job he could be proud of. yes, there is a melange of blue and green and red all back in the back, but i sewanee i was gonna get serious in the middle. kiln beige in the foyer, latte in the den and living room, tree branch in the dining room all around with lattee above the chair rail. you are welcome to go to sherwin williams's website and check out these fine colours.

the kitchen is the last remaining outpost of wallpaper. ah, the hens, the hens. wherefore art thou hens? the dawn in yonder window breaks and you hens do break the wind, oh! and so we need a colour for the kitchen because i refuse to give in and paint it anything safe. kiln beige my great huge kiln beige ASS. don't want to rehash the colours from the back of the house. we're really leaning towards purple and by purple i of course mean something in an incredibly light lilac or wisteria. not shaman purple.

and, on that note, i must bid you adieu my dear readers. i am the chariot driver this evening, and my cinderella has texted for a pickup (in the pickup) from the ball.

what

are words for

if no one listens

no
one
listens

anymore?

||||| **^^** ///// **^^** \\\\\ **^^** |||||

if you thought somebody was making a mistake, would you tell them? «well, of course» you say. «of course i would. i am a reasonable person. that's what reasonable people do - reasonable things.» but in reality, what we tell each other about impending mistakes could be charted on one of those quandrant charts with low to high investment on the x and low to high outcome on the y. or, something like that.

if your best friend is shopping for a car, and she's got a couple kids so she needs a safe car that gets good gas mileage, and she comes and tells you that she's picked out the perfect car and it's an old jeep cj-5 and yeah it needs some work and yeah there's only 2 working seatbelts and one's for the driver, but see she can bungee in kid #2 using kid #1's seatbelt just-like-this and... and... you are thinking that's a death trap and she can't afford the maintenance much less the gas, would you tell her? would you tell her even if she would be very disappointed because she really wanted the jeep and you know all she's going to hear is "you're a bad mother" when that is not what you are saying at all? would you tell her?

if you are on a road trip together with your cousin who is diabetic and you stop in the 7-11 (pronounced "semalem") to get a snack and 'cuz' is pretty thirsty and is looking for a good choice and he's selected a gatorade and he's showing you what a great choice he made because gatorade is a real thirst quencher and it's not a soda but you know gatorade is filled with HFCS and you're maybe not exactly sure, but you think maybe that won't be good for a diabetic and you're not quite sure 'cuz' knows that there's HFCS in the gatorade and you'd really like to be sure that 'cuz' knows what he's doing... would you tell him? would you tell him even if you know he's going to get angry because he always gets angry any time you mention his diabetes and he tells you that you just don't understand because YOU don't have diabetes and he has to live with it every day and what do you know anyway and he never should have come on the trip with you, you idiot! would you tell him?

if you're shopping with your dad for a gift for your mom and he's about to purchase a pair of gloves that are brown and you know for a fact that she wanted gloves that are black, so you can see he's making a mistake there, and it's a mistake you can prevent, would you tell him? would you tell him even if you knew that he really prefers your mom to wear brown and he thinks she's really pretty in brown even though he can't bring himself to tell her because it's black she really likes so the gift that will make her happy is the black gloves but the one that will make him happy is the brown... would you tell him?

if you have gone to dinner with your in-laws and your mother-in-law is thinking about ordering the potato soup and you have had this potato soup here at this restaurant and you know it sucks giant donkey dongs, and say for instance that you happen to like your mother-in-law and you care about her happiness, would you warn her about the soup, tell her that getting it would be a mistake? would you tell her if your reputation in the family is that you've already been everywhere and done everything and it's pretty much a standing joke that you are going to tell your story about when you did this or that, and your nickname is "band camp" and she probably won't even heed your advice but you do really know this soup would be a mistake, would you still tell her?

if you saw a stranger who was a guy about to go into a ladies restroom, which might be funny except this is an old guy with a cane and he maybe is trying so hard just to coordinate the walking and the not falling down that he's got nothing left over for reading signs that he can barely see thru his thick glasses, would you help him avoid this mistake? what if the you just saw him loudly reprimand someone who tried to help him navigate around a display of china tea cups and he told that other helpful stranger that he didn't need anyone's help, that he was independent and completely capable of taking care of himself and kids these days have no respect! would you warn him he's about to make a mistake?

well?

would you?

hope at the ass-end of the world

some things make complete sense once you find out but it's not like you know them before you find out. if you can see what i mean there. maybe not? okay, here's the example. the south pole has 24 time zones. see? makes perfect sense, but it's not like you knew it already. or, let me say, it's not like *I* knew it already. so anyways, ol' antarctica has 24 times zones. who cares about what time it is in a place where it's completely dark half the year? you might think nobody cares, but you'd be wrong. so there!

a quick count of the dots on the map in this month's national geographic reveals that there are no less than 37 scientific stations scattered around the bottom of the world. many are concentrated on what we'd say is the "western" side, because it's to the left on the map. "west" and "east" are just relative terms but to keep things simple, on the western side there are more stations. the western side is closest to south america.


so the folks working at those 37 stations care what time it is. to coordinate their work with each other and with other scientists, they use UTC or coordinated universal time. you can tell by the acronym that it's not an acronym for the english because the english would be CUT. in french, it's temps universel coordonné, or TUC. the compromise is UTC. UTC is basically GMT (if you don't know what GMT is, you're really going to have to google it, because it's very basic) with some specific scientific adjustments to account for leap time, adjustments that we lay-folk shouldn't worry our pretty little heads over.

so, que hora es? turns out these hearty sciencefolk have three choices for the clocks at their stations. they can set their clocks by the zone of their departure point (tip-of-continent port from which they left for the pole). they can set their clocks by their home time zone. or, they can set their clocks by the slice of time zone they're in. the station at the pole doesn't have this third choice because at the pole all the zones converge, putting this station in every time at once... or, in no time at all.

there are stations owned by united states, france, chile, germany, poland, russia, italy, new zealand, austrailia, china, japan, india, norway, united kingdom, argentina, brazil, south korea, and uruguay. what an interesting mix. poland? really? i mean, where does a country like poland get the budget to support an antarctic station? and, south korea is also a country i would not think of as affluent enough to afford scientific exploration. argentina has three, which seems like a lot, but then i don't think argentina is all that far away from the south pole, is it?


the united states has planted the flag at the pole, calling the station "amundsen-scott" after the first men there (right?). most of the station names are immediately recognizable as to their country of origin:

dumont d'urville (france)
novolazarevskaya (russia)
neumayer (germany)
halley (u.k.)
arctowski (poland)
zhongshan (china)
san martin (argentina)

some have funny names. like, chile has one called bernardo o'higgins. wasn't that a character on the carol burnette show? china has one called great wall, and we all know that wall is great but it does not extend to the south pole. c'mon now. norway's station is called troll. heh. troll.

argentina has a station called esperanza, and in case you don't know, esperanza in english is "hope". that one really struck me. having hope in that godforsaken land, well, that's really something. esperanza is the birthplace of the first human born in antarctica (emilio marcos palma in 1978). wow. doesn't get much more hopeful than a newborn baby boy, does it now?

read something else

i looked back here and realized that the painters have been futzing around here since 30 november. they didn't show up today at all. now, in the interest of full disclosure and transparency, i will say that we are not really pushing for faster work. we're not in any particular hurry and we're happy to wait in line behind the rush jobs in exchange for getting a lower price. but. it's time to get this wrapped up. yipee ki yay. round 'em up and head 'em out.

unfortunately for you that means we have to move some furniture so i don't have a lot of time for you tonight.

heard it on npr

in case you don't know, the death tax is when someone dies and leaves some property to whoever and the govt comes in and takes part of the inherited property. the death tax in its current form was passed by congress in 1916 -- current form except it was called the estate tax. the man who envisioned the estate tax was also the man who inspired the creation of the teddy bear -- teddy roosevelt. while mr roosevelt was president, he started the work for the estate tax, but he left office in 1909 before it was passed.


in 1913, the first income tax law passed and here we are three years later with the estate tax. the early 1900s were an era of progressive thinking about taxation. "progressive" meaning that people believed in the power of taxation to redistribute wealth thereby leveling the playing field and equaling opportunity.

in the 1920s andrew mellon (google him) was secretary of the treasury, and he worked to get the estate tax repealed but his effort was not successful. later, in the 40s, the opponents started calling it a "death" tax because "death" is a wee bit more attention-grabbing than "estate". still, it hung on. the death tax just wouldn't die.

a smallish percentage of estates on which folks are required to pay tax consist of family farms or other small businesses. the estate tax can sound the death knell for a small business, but the vast majority of small businesses and family farms are not subject to the tax. in the 90s, opponents tried to stir up support for their position by drawing attention to the families that suffered thusly but they could not muster enough support and the tax stayed in place.


for all its staying power, it's not very effective. it has never produced more than 2% of federal revenues in any individual year since world war dos. here are some more facts i gleaned from an npr interview with michael graetz of columbia law school.

The estate tax was repealed for 2010. But if nothing happens, it will return in 2011 -- individuals who inherit estates valued at $1 million or more would see them taxed at a 55 percent rate; couples who receive estates of $2 million or more would also pay that rate. But under the framework of the deal struck between President Obama and Congressional Republicans, the first $5 million of an estate would be exempt -- the rest would be taxed at 35 percent. Many House Democrats would like to see a 45% tax on individuals' estates worth more than $3.5 million and couples' worth more than $7 million.

interesting stuff, really. lots of machinations over a tax that generates little revenue. so, what's the dealio? why are folks so het up over this relatively ineffective tax? because it's the most progressive tax on the books.


mr roosevelt believed that the estate tax was the way to prevent the accumulation of dynastic wealth and to establish a more level playing field. mr roosevelt believed the accumulation of dynastic wealth was counter to the american dream. but see, some would say accumulation of dynastic wealth is the epitome of the american dream.

there, my fair readers, is the crux of the issue.

deadbloggin from the couch

i was trying to liveblog from the bux, but the iphone app is wack and won't save the work in progress if the phone rings. wack! so i lost my work which is actually okay because what i was bloggin was a likely inappropriate analysis of the convo of my neighbors. HAHAH! i am kidding of course - there's no such thing as "inappropriate" when it comes to analyzing other people's convos. that's funny. whew. anyhootle - i can't recreate it now with the same panache, but i thoroughly lambasted these two high school aged boys's lame "when i was in middle school i got all A's" kind of convo. lame!

but, when did jr high school become middle school and sr high school become high school? and, how the hell ancient am i??

did i mention we're painting the house? well, we are. and in the process of having the bedroom painted we moved everything out of our closet and we each moved our closeted belongings into separate rooms, so that now my closet is an entire room. to hell with downsizing!! i am so over downsizing. i am fixing to shut off the entire rear section of the house and create in it a single generously-sized luxury spa rest, relaxation, and recovery chamber. RRR chamber! there will be a room dedicated to containing our shared bed (ooooo sexy!) and then two separate dressing rooms, each with shelving and drawering and padded benches for seating our luxurious buttoxies whilst we lace up our luxurious chuck taylors. oh, and each dressing room will have a sort of wet-bar sink area for tooth brushing, hair fixing, and makeup application. in one former bathroom will be installed a jacuzzi and in the other a glass-walled dual waterfall shower because sharing the shower can be a real time-saver on a busy morning. (what?) of course we'd have to include some sort of toilet solutions, but discussing toilets is crude, so i refuse. (see what i did there??) in conclusion, it will be fabulous. you will more wish you were me than you already wish you were me.

bedtime stories

tonight i was making some chocolate oatmeal cookies and it reminded me of a couple stories about grandma-bec. as far as i know, grandma-bec got the recipe for chocolate oatmeal cookies from brigadoon, where we called them doo-doos because they look like doo-doo. duh-huh. at brigadoon we spread them evenly on a pan and cut them like brownies, which somewhat ameliorates the poo'ish appearance, but my old man likes his plopped down in individual cookie format because he says they taste better that way. ew. haha.

anyways, back in the day i was over at grandma-bec's place because that's where we went on the weekends - there or the farm, but really let's not digress, okay? good. so, i was at grandma-bec's and i was making some doo-doos and as i was spreading them in the pan, i was like - "i bet i could eat this whole pan." and grandma-bec was like - "okay." and i was like - "what?" and she said, "go ahead and eat however much you want." woo hoo!! so, i did. i ate as much as i wanted. i finished nearly half the pan, and that was it. IT. i could not eat any more of it. and, i was thinking to myself, "well whaddaya know - there is a limit to how much doo-doos i can eat. who knew?" grandma-bec didn't tell me 'no', she didn't say, 'well, you can have two or three, but that's all you need.' that wasn't her style, see. she was an advocate of learning by doing. think you can eat a pan of doo-doo? go for it!

doo-doos!

another time i was with grandma-bec and she was driving us out to the farm. i have no idea why i was the only one with her and why she was driving us out to the farm, but really, let's not digress, shall we not? we shall not. she was driving down the road to the farm which as you know is an old country road and as you know, you can't drive fast on an old country road. she was moseying along. mosey. mosey.

i am not a penguin, but this is a funny sign!

i was like - "i can RUN this fast." she was like - "no, you cannot." i was like - "yes. i. can." she stopped the car. "okay," she said, "get out and run." so i did. and, in case you can't guess the punchline here, she left me in the dust. i was sprinting and laughing and she stopped and i got back in, and i was like - "you sped up!!" and she was like - "no, i didn't. speed seems different in a car than on foot. it's a matter of perspective." whoa. nice lesson, grandma-bec.

no. i am not telling you another story. time for bed, you!

it's snowing and i am constipated. what? TMI?? since when did snow become such a sensitive issue? sheesh.

we're trying to install a ceiling fan in the bedroom and an exhaust fan in the bathroom and a light fixture in the other bathroom. we're really bad at home improvement projects so it's taken us all day to go to home depot and get what we need (except for the exhaust fan which we already had) and eat lunch and take the old ceiling fan down in the bedroom. we had to stop in the bedroom because the ceiling's wack where the old fan was and we need to get the painters to repaint there, so we moved along to the bathroom exhaust fan. right now my old man's trying to figure out if the electricity is on in the bathroom before he crawls up in the attic and starts messing with wires. we could not isolate the breaker. no, i don't know why. oh, wait, i do know. we are idiots. duh-huh.

intestines spelled backward is senitsetni which sounds like some sort of jedi soldier name.

hi! tired of hearing about how we're painting the house? too bad!

so the bathroom i wanted to paint pink and i have since learned that painting a wall pink immediately highlights exactly how large of an expanse of wall that wall is. the pink wall becomes a huge looming internal-organ-coloured beast. it will make you queasy - which i guess one bonus about this particular pink room is that at least you're already in the bathroom feeling queasy so you can just puke if you want. but - a room colour that makes you queasy is not a good choice. we will be repainting [and by 'we' i mean 'those guys'] that room.

i know you will be happy to hear that i am going through my stuff, again, and that i plan to get rid of more of it. in keeping with the internal organ theme, i'd liken cleaning the closets to preparing for a colonoscopy. makes you give some serious thought about putting all that shit back in there.

in other riveting me-news, i am going today to visit my college roommate. one of my roommates, that is. there were three of us, back in the day. but anyway, i am going today to visit roommate-s. [that looks like i don't know how to spell 'roommates'. huh.] anyway, roommate-s has some clothes that belonged to mini-me and were passed to her child and now i am going to collect them for regina. no doubt regina will be thrilled with thrice-worn clothing and her parents will be elated to have more belongings, so that's all good there. after visiting with roommate-s i am going to a party to celebrate the wedding of a soccer mate. two events des socializing in one day. just thinking about it makes me queasy like a pink wall.

ding-dingee-dong dong-dingee-ding

ah, the sounds of the season.

what?

yes, yes - i said "dong". GET OVER IT. that's the sound of the bells. sheesh. you're such a child.

where was i?

right. sounds of the season.

there's this radio station in town that starts playing xmash carols right after thanksgiving. fine. okay. whatever. i used to like all the music and lights and hooplah, but here the past few years... well, not so much. is it me? is it the season? i would have to say it's a little of both.

after [insert large number of years here] - it all becomes just so much more of the same. same songs. same lights. same greedy mobs of shoppers. samedy-same-same-same. it used to be fun to pick out special gifts for people, but now... *sigh* i don't know.


it's like when you're a kid you can buy meemaw a $1 bar of sweet smelling soap and it's so fun to watch her open it and she makes a big dealio and she's happy and you're happy and everyone's happy happy. but now, you're a grown-up, so you're no longer allowed to give $1 gifts. and, why the hell not? there is nothing we can buy for each other that we could not buy for ourselves, so why are we going thru this massive motion? and the next person who tells me "it's for the kids" i sewanee - i am gonna smack you HARD. what are the lessons here? let's make a list.

1. be good when you're being watched. be good when there is a reward for your behaviour. otherwise, be bad!

2. ask for whatever you want. ask BIG. ask for a pony. be greedy.

3. eat whatever you want. it's the holidays. worry about your health another time.

4. rush around to see everyone and in the process spend no meaningful time with anyone. have a party. get all manic.

5. talk about baby jesus A LOT. don't talk about grown up jesus AT ALL.

6. decorate elaborately. overdo it. be gaudy, showy, dazzling. decorate exclusively for this holiday more than you decorate for any other occasion. ever.

it's overwrought and overblown and I'M OVER IT!

yeah.

wait... what?

you got me a present?

me? really?

oh, now, don't be that way. you don't want to take it back and i wouldn't want you to go to that trouble. let me just open it here and let me see what it is....

yeah, okay, but not in the bathroom.

okay, so there's skype and google video chat and logitech vid and a whole merry host of other VOIP [Voice Over Internet Protocol - durr!] apps to get your internet communication on, and that's fine that there are many of them because right now they're all stuck in about the same place and the competition should breed innovation. video chat is currently one-on-one and requires human initiation. generally, to successfully skype, you've got to ring up your skypee first on their mobile so that you both can turn on your systems.

so, the first thing that needs to change is that the systems need to be "on" all the time. it needs to be more like phoning or even better - more like dropping by and knocking on the door. knock-knock, honey can you get that, oh look it's ace dropping by, c'mon in ace. and, so on. only you're going into the house of someone who is hundreds of miles away.

secondly, these systems need to be many-to-many. say sweet baby james wants to drop by and see ol' ace one afternoon, so we're hanging out, me & sbj, and it gets to be around suppertime and here comes ol' elvis. hey, elvis! so now there are three of us and it needs to be where we can all see each other. elvis came to my house, but sbj was already there, so now elvis can see us both.

logistically i don't know if the many-to-many would entail many screens or splitting up one screen. maybe you'd have like a screen wall in each room so that as i move around the house, elvis and sbj can sit on their hind ends and watch me, or they can move around, too. we could all be moving around and living our lives and doing the laundry and whatnot but we'd be virtually side-by-side.

and, while we're at it, the camera needs to follow the action or a person. like, you could choose to follow the action if there were several people in the place you had skyped to, or if it was just li'l ol' me, you could choose to tag me and have the camera follow me.

video mobile phones will be great, but to get the authentic interaction i am talking about here, you've got to have larger screens. 6'x6' would be a good start. needs to be big enough so that when you move around a bit, you're still on screen. this wouldn't work if someone wanted to come to your soccer game or something like that. i mean, maybe you have a portable camera where they can come and watch you, but you can't exactly interact the same way in that format.

but getting back to the original concept, see, here we are - me & sbj & elvis - and it's getting to be around suppertime, and so we all sit down and virtually eat supper together when we're literally hundreds of miles apart. just like that, the miles disappear.

tennessee, vanderbilt, south carolina, georgia, bamalama, auburn, florida, mississippi state, ole miss, louisiana state, kentucky, arkansas

so have you heard about this family in new jersey who have set up an elaborate holiday lights display? their neighbors are complaining that it's a fire hazard but just now the teevee news people showed the display and while viewing it, i detected the real problem: it's butt ugly. clark griswold would say it's too much, ridiculous, overdone. this display is not about the holidays, it's about cramming as many lit and inflatable and mechanical and inflatable lit mechanical decorations as possible into what appeared to be less than a quarter acre of lawn. it's like a competition with the air for ownership of the space above the grass. if your holiday display is so chaotic that looking at it makes people sort of start to shake and sweat and get a bit queasy, well now... that's just not peace-on-earthish.

please tell the girl at the next table that it's "poh-tay-toh" not "poh-tay-yo".

words matter. exempli gratia "bush era tax cuts". yes, bush initiated reduction in taxes from what was then the current rate, so at that time, what he did was "cut" taxes. but at this point, the tax rates are the tax rates. see what i mean? it's more appropriate to say "continue taxing folks at the current rate" than "extend the bush era tax cuts". yes, i know that the tax cuts are temporary and that they are on the positive renewal plan and that they were started by the bush administration. i know all that but you have to admit that it's a bit of a semantic play, designed to make us think that the wealthy are getting a "cut", something we're not getting, and that it's something-for-nothing and unfair and they don't deserve it, and while you're at it, just throw in that the cuts don't "work" - whatever that means.

the economy is in a bad way, right? right. lots of folks out of work. companies and small businesses going under. these folks will have you believe that if the tax cuts worked, the economy would be in good shape, ergo the cuts didn't work. c'mon now, that's a bit of a simplification. there are many factors at work, one of which is that if the richie-riches believe they will - next year and thereafter - face increased tax rates, they have less of an incentive to invest. and, not only that, if the tax rates are in question, as they have been, like, all year - that's a disincentive to investment, too. so, hanging the uncertainty over the richie-riches heads thereby causing them to hesitate investing and then saying that the tax cuts didn't work... well, it's disingenuous at best.

another term being bandied around in the taxation discussion is how much "extending the tax cuts" will "cost". hmm... taxes are income to the government. tax cuts reduce income, yes, but that does not make them a cost. it's like, i am not going to get a second job, so my household will therefore have less income, but my not getting a second job doesn't carry a cost. my going to the movies - that's a cost. groceries, cost. buying new books instead of checking them out from the liberry - cost again. my not getting a second job doesn't cost my household. my not getting a second job means my household cannot spend as much without going into debt. calling the tax cuts a cost puts them on the wrong side of the balance sheet and it's done to encourage folks to think the richie-riches are costing us something, that the average folk are in some way supporting the richie-riches. it's a way of reducing the argument and couching it in inflammatory and devisive terms.

thoughts?

they say you shouldn't paint bedroom walls red because red's not a relaxing colour, but maybe we don't want to relax in bed, didja think of that? heh.

the restroom at chick-fil-a has a shelf beside the sink. that is just the type of little thing that is so helpful.

so, did i mention we're repainting the house? yeah, well this adventure involves moving all our belongings from room to room, staying one step ahead of the painters. as we were unpacking mini-me's room some things i liked, i decided to keep for myself. well, that's just how it works, isn't it now? one thing is a nike backpack with a padded insert where i can carry my netbook. helpful! the front pocket of the backpack has only one zipper pull. you know how if you have two zippers you can pull them to the top and then open the pocket without opening the bottom of the pocket -- well, when there's only one pull, you have to bring it to the bottom each time, and that means when you open the pocket stuff like keys and change can fall out. not helpful! there is a cute little pocket at the top for a CD player (a what?) and that pocket could hold keys and change. helpful! when i opened that pocket to get the lay of the land, i discovered it was crammed - i mean KEY-RAMMED - full of pop-tart wrappers. not helpful, but hilarious! pop-tart wrappers. sheesh.

i could go for some pop-tarts right about now.

Sunday sUnday suNday sunDay sundAy sundaY

we're having the interior of the house painted. yes, this is something that other people do for themselves, but we're not other people. i mean, other people do things such as leap en masse from viaducts. senseless.

firstly, over the course of 25 years we've learned what we can and what we cannot do together and painting the house is one of those things we cannot do together. secondly, we had those popcorn ceilings and those are a bugger to remove. best to leave the buggering to the pros.

someone asked me last night did i take before and after pics. i did not. i am partially feeling like - gah! how could i not do that? and i am partially like - who cares? it's not like we're going to forget what the rooms looked like, and anyway, so what if we do? what about the past makes it worth preserving?

after emptying all the rooms in this house in order to paint them, i'm convinced that a lot of our past should not be preserved. how the hell many photos do we need? we have boxes of photos, vhs tapes, 8mm tapes. we have programs from piano recitals and plays and graduations. i was once made honorary page for the state legislature, along with my entire scout troop. there's a certificate for that and one for my membership in the national honor society and one for my varsity letter in pressbox, along with copies of the football game reports i wrote for the local paper which earned me that varsity letter. paper paper and more paper.

then, we have a ton of "this was meemaw's" and the dirty little secret of meemaw's belongings is that most of them are crap. the only reason they are worth anything is by association with meemaw. if meemaw knew we were keeping them, she'd laugh. why is it so hard to give them away?

it's a battle. i would like to live in a tiny house. google "tumbleweed houses" to see the tiny house. the thing about a tiny house is that nobody expects you to have anything. oh, you gave away meemaw's crap? well, of course you did - you have no place to keep it. oh, you don't have an extra set of sheets for your guest? well, of course not - you don't have an extra bed. if you live in a tiny house, there's no expectation that you'll have stuff and, freed of the expectations, you're freed of the stuff.

i would so like to free myself of that expectation now, in the house that i am in. i would like to free myself of that expectation and all this stuff without relying on some outside influence. yeah, yeah, i hear ya - just do it, what's stopping you. what's stopping me? i have no idea.

books 2010

currently:
physik
[angie sage]

complete:
flyte
[angie sage]
magyk
[angie sage]
in the woods
[tana french]
here if you need me
[kate braestrup]
spider bones
[kathy reichs]
the coffee trader
[david liss]
a spot of bother
[mark haddon]
the dead fathers club
[matt haig]
harry potter & the deathly hallows
[jk rowling]
harry potter & the half blood prince
[jk rowling]
harry potter & the order of the phoenix
[jk rowling]
the ravenmaster's secret
[elvira woodruff]
harry potter & the goblet of fire
[jk rowling]
harry potter & the prisoner of azkaban
[jk rowling]
harry potter & the chamber of secrets
[jk rowling]
harry potter & the sorcerer's stone
[jk rowling]
the local news
[miriam gershow]
the magicians
[lev grossman]
benjamin pratt & the keepers of the school: we the children
[andrew clements]
water for elephants
[sara gruen]
the last child
[john hart]
the youngest templar: the keeper of the grail
[michael p. spradlin]
the last song
[nicholas sparks]
the magykal papers
[angie sage]
the memory of running
[ron mclarty]

if you can't say something nice, you're not trying hard enough.

tongue tied.
stammering. stuttering. stupified.
don't know what to say.
have nothing to say.
can't think what to say.
have a nice day.

struck dumb.
cat's got your tongue.
befuddled. bewildered.
bedazzled. befiltered.
can't find the words.
at a loss.
don't disturb.

speechless. mute.
buttoned up. resolute.
hushed. shushed. on the DL.
on the QT. mum's the word.
bloody hell.

that was supposed to be a joke. i am not sure you could tell that by the way i wrote it. do i need to put the card back?

so i'll be there at the greeting card rack just passing time reading cards and chuckling and thinking how this one here would be perfect for jojo or oliver or whoever, but then i think whoever probably wouldn't get the joke, so i put the card back. why do they make cards that are so complex that only i can understand them?

just kidding. no, seriously, i'm just kidding. 99.98% of the time = kidding. this results in people Pointedly Staring at me 99.97% of the time. what is it with people? everyone is so Serious About Things. no one has a sense of humour about anything anymore. yeah, that's right - you're all humourless.

just kidding!

the problem is that people are all the time saying stuff that they are not kidding about, and then they say "just kidding" as a way to Make It Okay. not only does saying you're kidding when you're patently not kidding not make it okay, but it ruins it for those of us who are kidding. no, seriously, i am not kidding around here.

or, am i?

tonight we're cheering for the eagles cause they're playing the texans. it's easy anyway, cause speedy's an eagles fan. (*sigh*)

houston.
houston means that i'm one day closer to you.
houston.
houston means the last day of the tour, we're through.
honey, you and
god in heaven above know i love
what i do for a living - i do.
oh, but houston.
houston means that i'm one day closer to you.

he should not leave the house without an autotune these days, but george strait is sitting on a mountain of hits and doesn't even have to leave the house at all. he is one of my all time favorite singers, and yeah, yeah, okay, so he can't really sing all that much anymore, and yeah, yeah, okay, i've heard it over & over that he could never really sing much, but glorioski - is that man a HIT MACHINE or what? houston. baby blue. amarillo by morning. you know me better. adalida. i saw god today. blue clear sky. carried away. ocean front property. still make cheyenne. thinking you want a stranger. fool hearted memory. marina del rey. you look so good in love. give it away. fort worth ever cross your mind. all my ex's live in texas. how bout them cowgirls. write this down. carrying your love with me.

he has had like 50 #1 hits. he knows his audience so well he can probably name them all. he is a cowboy singer, period, end of story. he does one thing and he does it damn well. pluswise, he's hot.

by the numbers

65432!

---

65456!

---

25 numbers from 1 to 100. 2 22s, 2 32s, 2 44s, 2 45s. are these really random? what are the odds of getting so many pairs? as a junior in college, i fulfilled my remaining math credit by taking stats, so if you'd axt me a billion years ago back when i was scratching out stats on my alloted piece of wax tablet, i coulda told ya what the odds were. as it is now, alls i can tell you is that it shore don't look random to me.

we purchase lotto tix once or twice a week, and do we win? helz to the no! we occassionally rake in the massive $4 jackpot, but that could not possibly qualify as "winning" since we spend $5 a pop on the tix themselves and $4 return on $5 investment is not "winning". if you lose 20% of your investment in your small business endeavor, that's a tax deductible capital loss. pluswise, we clearly do not gain $4 every time, so the investment to loss proportion is much greater than 20%. in conclusion, $5/week is $250/yr - what the hell are we doing?!