ding-dingee-dong dong-dingee-ding

ah, the sounds of the season.

what?

yes, yes - i said "dong". GET OVER IT. that's the sound of the bells. sheesh. you're such a child.

where was i?

right. sounds of the season.

there's this radio station in town that starts playing xmash carols right after thanksgiving. fine. okay. whatever. i used to like all the music and lights and hooplah, but here the past few years... well, not so much. is it me? is it the season? i would have to say it's a little of both.

after [insert large number of years here] - it all becomes just so much more of the same. same songs. same lights. same greedy mobs of shoppers. samedy-same-same-same. it used to be fun to pick out special gifts for people, but now... *sigh* i don't know.


it's like when you're a kid you can buy meemaw a $1 bar of sweet smelling soap and it's so fun to watch her open it and she makes a big dealio and she's happy and you're happy and everyone's happy happy. but now, you're a grown-up, so you're no longer allowed to give $1 gifts. and, why the hell not? there is nothing we can buy for each other that we could not buy for ourselves, so why are we going thru this massive motion? and the next person who tells me "it's for the kids" i sewanee - i am gonna smack you HARD. what are the lessons here? let's make a list.

1. be good when you're being watched. be good when there is a reward for your behaviour. otherwise, be bad!

2. ask for whatever you want. ask BIG. ask for a pony. be greedy.

3. eat whatever you want. it's the holidays. worry about your health another time.

4. rush around to see everyone and in the process spend no meaningful time with anyone. have a party. get all manic.

5. talk about baby jesus A LOT. don't talk about grown up jesus AT ALL.

6. decorate elaborately. overdo it. be gaudy, showy, dazzling. decorate exclusively for this holiday more than you decorate for any other occasion. ever.

it's overwrought and overblown and I'M OVER IT!

yeah.

wait... what?

you got me a present?

me? really?

oh, now, don't be that way. you don't want to take it back and i wouldn't want you to go to that trouble. let me just open it here and let me see what it is....