the secretary of agriculture is thomas vilsack.

took the evening off from swimming & running. ::sigh:: taking a rest day. ::sigh:: not totally bored out of my skull. ::sigh:: do wish i had a jellybean. mmm....

watching some old epis of friends while balancing the checkbook & doing some laundry, and you remember ross's first wife, the lesbian? well, this epi is like the first or second show, and it's a different actress than it was later. weird, huh? yeah.

hey - did you hear what joe biden said about traveling during these swine flu days? he said - «don't». heh. he said he'd recommend to his family to stay off airplanes and subways b/c one sneeze & you're all immediately infected. joe. joe. joe. [insert head shaking] you know what's up with joe, really? joe's just old. joe's your old uncle who just doesn't have a clue but is damn sure of where he stands anyway.

speaking of the swine flu, you realize it's okay to eat pork, right? i mean, you're not going to get swine flu from eating swine. now - if you keep kosher & eat pork, you'll probably go to hell, but not from swine flu.

bottom line - if you get sick, it ain't piglet's fault.

the secretary of health & human svcs [just confirmed today] is kathleen sebelius.

my nanners have a lot to say to me. they give me advice. they keep me happy. every batch of nanners has a sticker, see. here they are on my desk.

look at all those lovely words of wisdom. «the food that fights for you» heh. nanners out there with their little nanner brass knuckles duking it out with the strawberries & the pomegranates. nanners are funny. stickers not shown include «peel. eat. repeat daily.» which is quite instructive and the incomparable «place sticker on forehead. smile.» - an instruction which i do in fact follow b/c it is so important to follow nanner instructions. i apologize for the wackness of the picture. that's the iphone camera for ya. it's a communication device, not a camera. sha!

tonight i went by the pool and swam the short course. i swam 32 laps if you count there as a lap & back as a lap. i swam 16 laps if you count there & back again as a lap. either way, that's supposed to be a mile. i finished in 20 minutes. that would be quite zippy, and though i believe i am a capable swimmer, i am not convinced i am a zippy swimmer. what say ye? i say this - the tri suit still fits. yippe ki yay! it's fun to go to the pool in the tri suit b/c people think i know what i'm doing. that is, until i get in the pool & do my laps of doggiepaddle. woof! woof!

the secretary of labor is hilda solis.

i did not forget how to swim. put in a half mile in the pool & 4 miles on the road. yipee ki yay! things are looking up for the tri. well, if not up-up - at least, things are not looking down-down.

1 minute is not very long if it's the last bit of a massage you're getting, but it's a really long time if you are holding your breath.

we like to watch jay leno's headlines, on monday nights. in case you don't watch it, look it up b/c i am not explaining it. suffice it to say that they're usually hilarious and that they usually involve grammar mistakes and that the audience usually doesn't seem to get them - as signified by their non-laffing-ness. so i yell at the teevee b/c the eejits don't get the grammar jokes. HA!

tonight after swimming & running i went to the liberry and got the first 5 spiderwicks. hoping they are good. not the point. the point is that after all the driving around, the jeep decided to konk out at the liberry. no! no! don't die at the liberry! i'll skip the details, but the problem is not specifically the battery, but the problem became the battery by the time i ran down the battery trying to overcome the actual problem. SO. i got out & raised the hood - which is of course the universal signal for «my car be brokedee». or, in this town, the signal for «hey everyone ignore me over here - that's right - move along - nothing to see here». i have never seen so many scurrying bad samaritans. sheesh. i had made my phone call and was waiting on my help, but they didn't know that - so, you would have thought at least one person would have at least paused to at least ask if i needed to use a phone. buncha wankers.

poor ol' jeep is at 215490. i was hoping she'd hang in there till 215512 for the sheer beauty of it. things aren't looking too good at this point. at least she didn't die there in the liberry parking lot. she had enough dignity to come on home. i want to send her to the happy car farm where the old cars go to rest all day in the mild sunshine & sleep all night in nice clean garages. my old man says probably she'll just have to be smooshed.

books 2009

currently:

complete:
devil bones
[kathy reichs]
irish tweed
[andrew greeley]
the paradise war
[stephen lawhead]
hood
[stephen lawhead]
scarpetta
[patricia cornwell]

the secretary of education is arne duncan.

currently watching chuck which is in jeopardy b/c leno's moving to 10/9 central 5 nights a week & taking up all those time slots. ::sigh:: here i was thinking 5 early nights of leno was going to be a good thing. i just wasn't thinking about the collatoral damage.

tomorrow evening, i might go swimming. maybe. see, i registered for this little triathlon thing on memorial day and haven't been in the pool in like a year. opps. maybe should do a little swimming - see if i remember how. finished up devil bones. wanna go to the liberry tomorrow before the pool?

the secretary of veterans' affairs is eric shinseki.

there were ants in my bathroom. started with tiny little ants, and then it became a mix of tiny little ants & large-ish ants. none of these ants really seemed to have an ant-clue about what they were doing. they were just sort of wandering around, and when you'd turn on the lights, they'd sort of work up enough energy to scatter back to the gap between the sink & wall or they'd scootch down the drain. sometimes i'd wash them down the drain, but i don't suspect they minded that too much since they'd head for the drain of their own accord. i concluded that they were some kind of hippie ants, just wandering around like that. these were not the busy ants in neat little lines trooping in & out in lock step. not your suit-wearing ant varietals.

told my old man «there's ants in my bathroom.» and he was like «spray this stuff & get rid of them.» i am not sure why it's important to get rid of them. do ants carry germs? since they were in the bathroom, it's not like they were making off with our food or anything. but - perhaps the small ants are like the marajuana of the bug world. maybe they lead to bigger things. i mean, they'd clearly already led to bigger ants. maybe the next thing would be some sort of bigger bug. or, maybe the ants just keep getting bigger & bigger. maybe ants lead to bigger & bigger ants. at the rate they were advancing in size, they'd be big as cheewahwahs soon. ants the size of cheewahwahs would be scary - so, not knowing for sure what i was up against, i took the spray & sprayed it.

ooooweee - did those little buggers scatter! yeah - ya hippie dippie ants - take that! the instructions said to spray where the wall meets the sink & also to spray the actual ants. so, i sprayed the ants, and most of them sort of hobbled away down the side of the sink or down the drain.

but this one ant - this one ant, i hit dead on. stopped him in his tracks and stuck him to the wall.

i left him there as a totem - as a warning to the other ants.

ne messez-vous pas avec moi!

the secretary of homeland security is janet napolitano.

went for a 10-miler this morning, and it went surprisingly well. the weather was warm, but not hot. there was some wind, but it wasn't too annoying. set a good pace & finished strong with a 8:24 last mile & 10:16 overall pace. yipee ki yay!

got home & my old man wanted to go to his mom's to help assemble some furniture. well, "wanted to" is probably not accurate - he wanted to help her, but who really wants to assemble furniture? he asked me to go, and i asked if we could take the harley, and he said okay, and so i was like «yipee ki yay!».

so, between yipee-ki-yay this and yipee-ki-yay that, haven't had anything to eat except a handful of peanuts since breakfast. hungry! fix me some food!

if i can think of anything more interesting to say, you might get something more from me later. otherwise, you will have to make do with this.

the secretary of commerce is gary locke.

i am completing the first ever round of teeth whitening. i used these two products. of the two, i very strongly recommend the walgreens item. i used the walgreens first, then the crest. the walgreens sort of tore up my gums a little, but that's how you know it's working, right? tear it up!! the crest thingies are mostly goopey and gloppy and sticky. there doesn't seem to be a lot of action or a lot of whitening going on.the walgreens is a one-week program, and i noticed noticeable improvement after one week. the box suggested that if you wanted more improvement, do one more week, but then take a break for a few months. well, instead of doing that, i thought i'd try the crest. it's a 2-week program and if you aren't satisfied after 2 weeks, you can do 2 more. so! bottom line? i am thinking they're comparable products with the difference being the walgreens is stronger. i was thinking that i'd see some more improvement after 2 weeks with crest, but i am telling you... not so much. and, i know what you're thinking - maybe the 2nd week of walgreens would not have been as much improvement as the 1st week. we will never know, will we? the walgreens is the trays and the crest strips are the... uh... strips. my theory is that the trays are a better technology.

the secretary of transportation is raymond lahood.

currently reading kathy reichs's devil bones which can be compared to patricia cornwell's scarpetta which i read earlier this year - b/c both are about female forensic experts. reichs is a real-life doctor of forensic anthropology. cornwell is a crime writer. therein lies the difference between these two books -- reichs actually knows what she is talking about, and cornwell's just imagining. cornwell may have even done some ride-alongs or watched an autopsy or two, but reichs has done these things on a daily basis. the difference between observer and performer is acutely played out in the writing; therefore, reichs wins by a landslide. her writing is detailed, precise, accurate - yet never boring. she can explain the most intricate technique of forensic medicine in a way that you can totally follow along and yet not feel like an idiot. she's a marvelous teacher. and, the buildup of suspense in her novels has a solid, realistic pace. the only criticism i have of her work is predictable endings where the lead character is often caught up in a damsel-in-distress situation. but, overall, her writing is very good. the conversations ring true; the characters are 3-dimensional; and the plots are well-paced and not cluttered with gratuitous imagery.

that last point is a big complaint i have with cornwell - gratuitous imagery. it's like, since she doesn't have the inside scoop on the techniques & procedures, since she cannot bring any new knowledge to the table, she's left with simply pushing situations in your face. the characters are surprisingly flat for a writer with so much experience, but then... experience doesn't always mean improvement. if her books have sold well, she'd have more & more influence over her editors until they probably don't really change much at all anymore. perhaps i should read some of her early work to see if there's a difference with character depth - and plot pacing, which is another problem of hers. the story moved in fits & jerks. it didn't build smoothly with one situation leading to another. facts were added later to explain away an inconsistency or an awkwardness in the story line - whereas in a well-written story, the necessary facts would have been rewritten into the earlier part of the story so that the background was solid.

in conclusion - reichs is the better writer. her characters are more well-rounded than cornwell's - having a personal & a professional life, having good & bad traits, having emotions. reichs doesn't rely on gratuitous imagery or contrived plot elements - she is simply a good storyteller. she sets the scene in such a way that you can picture city's you've never visited and imagine procedures you've never witnessed. she does all this & never talks down to the reader.

patricia cornwell should wish she could be as good a writer as kathy reichs is.

the secretary of energy is stephen chu.

did you ever shop long & hard for the perfect gift for someone, and you find something great, and you get it home, and you realize you want to keep it for yourself, so you give them cash & tell them you didn't have time to go shopping? yeah, ne meither. did you ever drink o-j right out of the carton? did you ever forget you have a step-sister and -brother? did you ever only take your clothes out of the dryer and leave the towels for someone else to fold? yeah, ne meither. did you ever take the last of the t-p and figure you'll get another roll later then your mother-in-law drops by, and she wants to use the facilities, and you've totally forgotten about the t-p, and after she leaves, you wander in there and wonder how she managed without the t-p and decide there are some things you're better off not knowing? yeah, ne meither.

in other news, today's earth day. did you do something earthy? i personally have my own personal earth day every day b/c i ride a vanpool which is an enormous sacrifice on my part for the betterment of the environment. yeah, you're welcome. one of my fellow vanpoolies drives a prius to the vanpool, and that's really going above & beyond, don'tcha think? impressive, really, all that saving she's doing.

speaking of the vanpool, waiting on it's not so boring with the iphone, but today i was waiting over 30 mins which is ridiculous. so, he gets there finally and apologizes & says how he didn't have anyone's numbers in his phone. in the first place - a responsible driver would have a plan for contacting folks when he's running late. and point b - he did have my number in his phone b/c i have called him numerous times about riding and in fact texted him only yesterday. so, unless he clears out his phone every night, he's lying. and, the one guy whose number he did have, he did call that guy, and that guy has my number, too, b/c when i cannot reach jerky, i call that guy, and as a matter of fact, i just texted him a few days ago, so again, unless this guy is clearing all the numbers out of his phone, he has my number, and he could have called me when jerky called him. in conclusion - people when left to their own devices are a wee bit jerky.

the secretary of housing & urban development is shaun donovan.

what do you call a guy who puts on 3 jackets? a more-on. get it? a MORe-ON? moron?? do?you?get?it? hahaha. boy, i crack myself up.

what about miss california? she answered her miss usa contest question honestly, gave her opinion - she believes marriage is meant to be between one man & one woman. i am not saying i agree w/ her or disagree w/ her, but it's her opinion, and she's entitled to it, and she's entitled to state it - especially when asked. in case you haven't heard, she's being given totally down the road about it. it's like she's not allowed to have this opinion simply b/c it's politically incorrect. the irony is that the people who keep saying she should not have said what she said - these people are the ones who keep saying they should be able to say whatever they want.

do?you?get?it?

personal gruhming

my eyebrows have become markedly incooperative, so i am going to shave them off and replace them with wooly worms. i will need a lot of wooly worms for this ongoing maintenance activity, so please begin collecting them and send them my way asap.

when

when i eat, i eat tuna.
when i drink, i drink wine.
when i throw, i throw frisbees,
and i'm throwin' all the time.

when i write, i write poems.
when i talk, i talk smack.
when i run, i run so far,
like i'm never comin' back.

when i dance, i dance ballet.
when i play, i play pipes.
when i sleep, i sleep deeply,
and i'm dreamin' every night.

when i paint, i paint mountains.
when i climb, i climb trees.
when i pray, i pray outloud,
and i get down on my knees.

while i live, i'll live largely,
but when i die, i'll die small
cause there ain't no use in wailing
when you get that final call.

books 2009

currently:
devil bones
[kathy reichs]

complete:
irish tweed
[andrew greeley]
the paradise war
[stephen lawhead]
hood
[stephen lawhead]
scarpetta
[patricia cornwell]

ho hum

ho hum - what dem bichez do when dey forgets da wirds.

that's a joke. sheesh. relax.

today was sorta hohum. ate bfast & read the paper. went for a run. watched the rain fall. watched hoosiers - the movie - while addressing grad announcements. did some laundry. went to the grocery. had supper with my old man and speedy & junior. did a lot of nothing. feeling boring.

going to make some coffee now. want some?

the love of money is the root of all evil.

so my old man & i went to the lawnmower store this morning and spent $8600 but before you go start having a cow, remember that there was a happenstance a couple years ago - and mini-me got a ford & a dell & a couple semesters' tuition - and i got a harley - and my old man didn't get anything at all, at all. and whereas it must be stipulated that no one chose the happenstance, it is a given that everyone deserves a bit of the outcome.

so we purchased some lawn gear for my old man, and then i ran home for my long run of the week. it was later than i'd have usually gone out, and it was like 72º which is very hot when you're not used to it yet. i was hungry, and overall, the biorhythms were just not right. but, i forged ahead, and made the 10 miles in a 10 m/m pace. good on me.

there are 3 types of road runs - the out & back, the loop, and the point to point. i prefer the point to point, but the logistics are generally a deterent. you have to have someone drop you off someplace. you can't just choose to run to just any random event that you're participating in. like, you can't run to the movies - b/c then you'll be all sweaty in the freezing theatre. ergo, the logistics of the point to point are a deterent. next let us consider the loop. this is the next most preferable choice after the point to point. the loop starts & ends at the same spot, so doesn't require the same sort of logistics as the point to point, but to accomplish the loop, you do have to map it out beforehand. you have to know what streets to choose to get back to the start - or you could end up in timbuktu or simply end up going further than you intended, of which the accidental 17 is a prime example. the loop is more fun than the out & back, but more difficult to pull off. the out & back is the simplest of all runs - go out x number of miles, turn around, go back. easy peasy lemon squeezy. also, boring as hell. you've already been on those streets, so it's not like you want to see them all again a few mins later. it's best to do the out & back in a locale with which you are not very familiar, b/c even if it's potentially boring, you're a lot less likely to get lost.

in conclusion, running bear loved little white dove.

grapes are nature's jelly beans.

heard on [3 guesses] npr that some veterans who were patients at the v-a hospital were exposed to [this is gross] bodily fluids of other patients b/c certain endoscopic [that's a scopic in your endo] paraphernalia were not properly sterilized. um... blech. so, these vets were exposed to germs [duh] and some have come down with some serious illnesses, e.g. hiv/aids & hepatitis. the way that the v-a hospital people know these patients have hiv/aids or hepatitis is because they have done tests. but, here's what i want to know - how do they know if these people already had these illnesses before the procedure?

a few days ago, there was a news story about an airplane on which the pilot died and a passenger landed the plane. what most news agencies did not lead with was this little tidbit - the passenger was a trained pilot. that's right. the amazing hero landing by the passenger was a sort of regular landing by a pilot. woopwoop.

tonight we went bowling - and by «we» i mean me, my old man, junior, & speedy. let me tell you this - junior & speedy are the most together broken-up couple you'll ever meet. in less than a month, they will have been broken up for a year. i plan to start prodding for status after this milestone passes. as for the bowling, let's just say there were plenty of interesting people to observe & discuss at the alleys. that's how good the bowling was going - we spent a good portion of the time observing & discussing, observing & discussing.

before hawaii was hawaii it was called the sandwich islands. hawaii was discovered by the same guy that invented the sammich. wow. he kinda got around.

getting serious

i was gonna get serious here about the topic of the government buying up toxic assets b/c i heard on [where else] npr that the govt [i.e., you] are spending more money each day purchasing toxic assets than on the war in iraq. but, i couldn't find the reference for that, so i am not 100% sure it's true. i'll keep looking, though, cause i am looking out for you.

in the meantime, i came up with a great idea while walking to my vanpool. this young lady walked by me talking on her phone thru that setup with the earbuds & mic. well, she was ostensibly talking on her phone. here's where my idea comes in - wear the headset or the blue tooth, and you're free to walk around talking to yourself! beauty, eh? no more covering up by pretending you're singing to yourself - as if that is better than talking to yourself - with the blue tooth in place, you can just chatter away to yourself without getting those funny looks you've had to inure yourself to.

you're welcome.

tax day & i've already got my refund back.

the marriott sent me an email b/c i am in their points club. i have like 3 points but hey, in am in da club. so, they sent this email with the subject line «free night, us$100 credit». i am all like «wootwoot!» thinking i'll use this next time we're in the college town visiting mini-me. open the email, and find the free night is for london, sydney, rio, or dubai. i'll just say that mini-me's college town is in the continental u-s-of-a and let you figure out if i will be using the koopon.

hey, so... let me ask you something -- did you ever have to pee, but you think you'll do the dishes anyway. you think you'll have time, but when the water's going and your hands are in the warm water, the peeness is really getting to you. you're starting to sweat a little & you're dancing around, but the dishes are almost done, so you go all mary tyler moore and you're gonna make it after all and you're on the final dish and you rinse it and omg you are barely hanging in there and you throw the dish in the drainer and you slam the water off and you sling the sponge down and you run for the bathroom and you can't get your pants down fast enough and you sorta pee in your pants. did that ever happen to you? yeah... ne meither.

today while i was running i saw 7 ambulances and the weinermobile. they were not in the same geographic location, so i do believe the sightings were unrelated. well, wait - the ambulances were all in the same locale - down at the park, around the duck pond. i am fairly certain the duck pond is the lunchtime meeting place for most of the ambulance drivers in the metro area. so, if i get hurt by the duck pond, it's all good in that hood. the weinermobile was a couple miles away from the buses. that's all i know about the weinermobile. it was there.

have you ever tried teeth whiteners? my preliminary evaluation is that they seem to sort of work, but they are also sort of wack.

about that new cleaning plan

remember the «focus» cleaning plan? the plan where to clean the house, i focus on one room? spent 1.5 hrs on one room last week, and it still looks great. tried this evening to do the same thing in another room, and it turns out that not all rooms are created equal. some are just furniture & a little junk. some are serious mounds of paraphernalia. is that even how you spell paraphahnalea? and, by the by, not THAT kind of parafinallya. sheesh. what i mean is that this next room is going to take some additional time. sort of peeved about that, b/c it cuts into time i could spend blogging. ::sigh::

rivers of pie

got behind a sport size s-u-v on the way home & noticed its bumper sticker: «ober rivers». oooo! - i thought - a fellow outdoorsperson. i tried to get a little closer to determine what rivers these were that were advertised on the bumper. maybe something around here that i could visit. hmm.... closer.... closer.... well, omigoshi - the «s» and the «d» and several other items were faded. the bumper sticker read «i heart sober drivers». ::sigh::

you like cake or pie? those are your only choices - not ice cream, not cookies, not brownies. cake? or? pie?

for myself, i choose cookies.

no! just kidding! if the choice is cake or pie, it depends on what kind of cake or pie. the dessert table is full of potential pitfalls. every choice must be weighed carefully in the triage:
^-^ firstly, all chocolate can be eliminated.
^-^ secondly, as for pie, i am not one for any type of fluffy or merangie pie and also not a fan of the graham cracker crust. i enormously enjoy graham crackers. whole. whole crackers. not cracker crumbs smooshed into a plywoodesque substance. chess pie is a trump.
^-^ thirdly, as for cake, it's all about the icing. fluffy icing or blue icing - no. cream cheese or buttercreme - yes. white/white - yes/yes.


addendum 1 - cheesecake is a pie & boston cream pie is a cake.
addendum 2 - chess squares = chess pie.
addendum 3 - jello is not a dessert unless you are in traction.
addendum 4 - oatmeal raisin cookies take precidence over blue icing and all types of meringue.
addendum 5 - confusion of meringue and merengue will result in nothing but disappointment.

does that make me a bad person?

the other day at the grocery, they had these little coin collection things in baby bottles. they were collecting for march of dimes. so, i dug in my purse for some change & found a couple quarters, a nickel, and some pennies. as i was putting one of the quarters in, i noticed it was a bicentennial quarter. i collect bicentennial quarters, so i drew it back from the brink & didn't give it to the dime parade. does this make me a bad person? i say «no».

1000th post

went to the roller derby this evening, and let me tell you, that is one kickass sport. it is not just a bunch of girls in fishnet tights & spankies knocking each other around. for instance, tonight - 2 girls shirts came completely open & you could see their bras & bellies, so obviously, it's more than fishnets & spankies. okay, no seriously - this is not your mammy's roller derby - this is sanctioned & has about a million referees & an amazingly supportive yet quite eclectic crowd. you could literally be anyone & wear anything and come to the roller derby, and no one would look at you twice. elvis? check. guy in golf shirt & khakis? check. lots & lots of chuck taylors? check. what we saw is flat track derby - b/c [durr] it's played on a flat track. this means you don't have to have a special arena - you can play in just about any place where there's enough space - a gym or a fairgrounds demo building. it's a little slower than banked track b/c you can't get up that kind of speed on a flat track, but that means the crowd can be really close to the edge of the track. it's really very exciting & the players compete hard. the only really all-out odd factor at tonight's event was the halftime show - which really defies all explanation.

in conclusion - roller derby is a riot. you should go.

sorry you missed seeing me yesterday but the computer was wack and as a matter of fact it is still wack.

computers. blech.

in honor of today's holiday from work, i will share with you phrases heard in actual work meetings at my actual place of work this actual past week. you're welcome.

- what you do & what you choose not to do says a lot about you, as a person.
- let's get a foothold on what we want to accomplish.
- be a brand leader.
- that's the power of retail.
- target the message.
- identify the key drivers.
- look for places to plug in.
- make a decision tree.
- it's the 80/20 rule.
- when we go into the meeting, we need to have a powerpoint.
- that idea could have legs.
- it is a touchpoint for dialoging.
- not set in stone.
- been there, done that.
- all our eggs in one basket.
- wordsmithing the imagery.
- it bubbled to the top.
- first thing on the docket.
- identify the key tactics.
- have a plan-b in case of paradigm shift.
- create talking points.
- flesh out the talking points.
- coöpetition.
- suboptimization.
- isbn number.

i amused myself all week by making notes in each mtg, so i could bring you these lovely phrases. aww - don't mention it. you'd do the same for me.

greetings from the beanery - where they have strung electricity to every booth!! yipee ki yay!

okay, this cranberry scone is just plain deelishus!! this is not a picture of the exact scone i am having, but a fairly representative depiction of the genus cranberrius sconae.

the other day on npr - which apparently my source for news - there was this story about busta rhymes. firstly, i would like to point out that this is not your granpappy's npr, with stories about busta rhymes. the story was about how ol' busta has made a rap song which arabs find offensive. firstly, welcome to the party, arabs! rap is degrading to everyone. there's a rap song to fit every minority's need to feel oppressed, and the ironicality is that rap is the music of the oppressed. in the npr story, this arabian rapper was saying how he was all sad & dissed by busta's song. i guess he thought all rappers would stick together, regardless of race, creed, or color. but, see - that's just the thing -- rap's pretty much about «i am cool. you da fool.» so there's really no room for compadreship with anyone who is not exactly like you, meaning of course, who is not your very self. because you know even rappers of the same race, creed, and color are all the time offing each other, so it's not like they are sticking together any better than the rest of us.

in conclusion - stop whining, arab rapper man! the song is actually kind of funny, and i know, i know, I KNOW, if i am going to laff at the arab song, i am going to have to put up with the hos & bichez songs, but i'd have to say that it might just be worth it all in the end. we should all just laff more, that's all.

plus, i would not argue with ol' busta. he does not look like one for the logic & talking, but more like the busta'ing. maybe i should invite him out for bean juice & scones. that would make him laff, i'd bet. not sure it's appropriate, but i am going to say it anyway - busta's not bad looking. there. i said it. i find busta rhymes to be an attractive man.


speaking of asians [which i am clearly NOT - i am speaking of arabs & africans, but originally remembered the busta rhymes song as being about asians, not arabs, and had to go back and change the first part of this post, but i had a theme going, so live with it.] speaking of asians, at our local quizno's which we have recently begun frequenting b/c junior introduced my old man to the concept although i have been saying for like YEARS that we should go there - oh, FINE, when JUNIOR says it, then he will go. okay. whatevs. the point is that the local q-biz is run by an asian couple. they are young, maybe in their 20s, and they have a young son, maybe 5 or 6 y.o., who wanders around behind the counter whining like any bored young man would do - except he's whining in an asian language, which you just don't hear every day in these parts. all three q-biz folks speak to each other in this language that is not english. if i had to guess, i'd guess they are chinese. his name tag reads «michael» and hers «kate», and i realize it's probably prejudiced of me, but i am going to go out on a limb there & say these two quirky kids' birth certs do not read «michael» and «kate».

that concludes today's installment of inappropriate talk about people of various races live from the beanery - where the coffee is free & the wireless is hot!!

work chat

had a good talk w/ the boss. told him i was getting tired of all the clerical tasks and his working around me w/ other depts. he said -- next time, just come talk to him about it instead of being a passive-aggressive whiney-ass bitch. except he used work words like co-opetition and open door mgt. overall, it was a productive convo. i think he will be more co-opetive with me in the future.

if you're normal, you're not allowed.

between the publix & the quizno's, i heard a story on npr where this guy was talking about his retarded sister. this was his word. he said retarded. his sister was born in 1970, and that's what they said back then. when their mom died, his sister probably noticed at first, but forgot about her mom pretty quickly. the guy was saying this was a blessing for his sister, and the rest of us struggle with memories, and wouldn't it be nice sometimes to forget, like his sister does. i'd like to throw out there that those of us who are not retarded are not allowed to act like we are retarded. i mean, sure, it would be great to just forget some things, but the rest of the people in the world won't let you. if you act like you forgot something important - like... say... your mom dying - people will think something is wrong with you and they will do everything in their power to remind you. remembering is considered normal & forgetting is considered wack. so, it's not that we don't want to forget - there are tons of things we would all love to forget. other people just won't let us. if you're normal, you're not allowed to forget.

it's the same with people who say «my, what a lot of energy he has.» when they are talking about some little kid running circles around the restaurant or the jiffy lube. it's not all about energy. it's about being allowed. normal grownups are not allowed to run circles around the grocery store, no matter how much energy we have. we're required to partake of formal energy-releasing activities such as pilates or ballroom dancing. this is a good reason to have kids. when you have kids, you "have to" run around keeping track of the little buggers. normal grownups without kids have to stand in line patiently, wait their turn. if you're normal, you're not allowed to move.

sometimes it's okay to just want to run around in circles and forget.

did not get the bookkeeping done today, which means i will have to do it tomorrow.

the computer seems to be feeling better now, thanks for asking. for myself, i am a wee bit tired. i accidentally ran 16.88 miles today. just sort of was out for a stroll and suddenly found i had run 16.88 miles. NO. of course it did not happen that way. see - the car was in the shop, and they called yesterday & said stick a fork in it [it's done], so i thought hey - kill 2 birds with 1 toothbrush - i will jog to the car place. great idea! woohoo! so, i took off & all went really very well. i had a spectacular 10 mile run just as planned. ended up at the mechanic's shop. found the car, and what have they done but totally landlocked the little bugger. cars 2 deep on east & west, and one to the north, nor'east, and northwest - all with a fence to the south. criminy crickets, people! if i'd known you were going to park it that way, i'd'a brought my helicopter crane.

we went to home depot this evening, and i purchased 2 small houseplants & some potting soil. i have some pots i can put them in - from all the plants i've killed over the years. i wonder if the ghosts of the dead plants will haunt the new plants.

watching serena williams v victoria azarenka - and let me tell you this azarenka girl is wack. every time she hits the ball, she goes «woo-woo-woooo-oo» like a banshee. that would drive me berserk, and that's why i don't play against her in singles or even with her in doubles no matter how many times she asks me.

there's this line in a song on a new cd i have -- «non-stick frying pans», and you'd really have to hear the song to know that the line actually makes sense, but every time i hear it, i think he's saying «gnostic frying pans», and i wonder, what do these frying pans know & how can i gain such knowledge for myself?

dr dr gimme the news

the computer is not feeling well. seems to be very full and maybe somewhat gassy. bloated, you might say. so - i am running the disk clean up, and it's taking forEVah. perhaps I should do that a wee bit more often, eh? i myself am also feeling somewhat full, although not what you might call gassy. we partook of the offerings of cracker barrel this evening. i selected the beef & broccoli skillet thingie - only since i abstain from beef - i requested they fix it w/ grilled chix, and they did, and i highly recommend it. only - don't get the salad bc it is just lettuce w/ a couple slices of tomato. waste of space. get you some fried okries or a bowl of grits. the corn muffins w/ blackberry jam for dessert. yum!!

this computer thing is going to take a while. it's still on just 4 stripes. i know you want continual updates, but i have better things to do, so i will catch you later.

whupdate

spent all evening updating the computer so it will not be wack anymore.

sorry, no time to bloggalize. which is a shame b/c i was gonna tell you 'bout this episcopal priest who was defrocked b/c said she is a christian & a muslim and that the two religions are compatible and that she believes jesus is simply a prophet and not the divine son of god which is a belief pretty much contrary to the heart of christianity. was going to discuss this in detail, but no can do b/c my old man needs the computer now that it's working so more power to ya, and i'll catch you on the flip side.

april futbol's day

tonight we went to the usa vs trinidad & tobago soccer match. usa won! yipee ki yay! we kicked their ass on the pitch but also in cheering. the best cheer is of course - «u-s-a! u-s-a!» how could they compete with that? «t-r-i-n-i-d-a-d & t-o-b-a-g-o»?? haha!!! looosers! here's their flag & the diver down flag. i guess you can see that ol' t&t is all about the scooobah. if we'd been playing underwater soccer, they'd'a kicked our ass, eh?

on the way home, we were listening to the local sports talk radio, and they were discussing both the soccer match and the ultimate cage fighting that was in town tonight. those two are not really the same type of sport at all, at all. not really convinced ultimate fighting is a sport. anyhootle, one of the radio dweebs goes «did you go to the soccer game?» and the other is like «no, i had enough orange wedges today.» and if you don't get the reference, he's referring to the habit of bringing orange slices as halftime or postgame snacks for youth soccer games. it's almost like you cannot have a youth soccer game without orange slices. it was funny how he said «wedges» b/c who says that?? but, my point is this -- people who really enjoy soccer think that the way to get more people to really enjoy soccer is to have them really understand soccer, which i'd agree with, but the way they think they will get more people to really understand soccer is to have more people play soccer, and i'm not convinced that's working. all these kiddos playing soccer all over the place, and most of them are coached by folks who don't know much about soccer, so you just have a bunch of kids chasing a ball around the field. they don't learn strategy. they don't learn to build the plays. they don't learn the ebb & flow of the game. all they know is that you run around, kick a ball, and eat some orange wedges. having more kids do this, and calling it soccer, isn't helping more people understand & love the sport. it's helping more people mock it.