our promise: your drink will be perfect, every time. if not, let us know and we'll make it right. (if not what? if that is not your promise? grammEr?)

i was going to sit outside, but it's quite warm and stifling, pluswise the best chairs are wide open, so let's just sit in those, k? there just aren't that many people that want coffee in the summertime and i totally don't get that. okay, what are you having, a strawberry creme frappuccino? there isn't even coffee in that!

look, at that girl walking in. young! and, with a baby in her arms, and lord does that child look for all the world like a frog. body all fat and flat there with it's poor baby arms and legs just splayed out all froglike. that girl's baby is a frog. maybe it is a prince, really, but right now it is a frog.

they never have bold here in the evenings. i guess they do in the city, but not here. they will do a pour over, but that's always a bit wonky, don't you think? oh, i forgot, you don't drink coffee. haha. so it's pike again and frankly, pike sucks, but did you see how the barista put my tall pike in a grande cup to leave plenty of room for the skim? yeah, maybe i can make it palatable.

those guys brought a chess set which is in equal parts cool and wankerish. so far they are doing performance ordering, and isn't it annoying. loud announcing of What Is Being Ordered and How Much It Costs and - omg - british accents. okay, as you know, i really don't have a problem with the brits but the fact that these guys are alternating brit and redneck, well, jeez. there's really nothing worse than a redneck chess player.

the clock is really ticking here. i only have a few mins and while it's nice to spend a few mins with you, jeez, the pressure is enormous. i wasn't going to stop by at all and i would have to say yes, i am wondering now if stopping was the right decision. yes, i know, wasting time talking about how little time we have. ironic!

shh! did you see that guy? i think he might be a serial killer! no, really. who in their right mind would wear those clothes. those shorts are doing something to the looks of his butt. he isn't a hunchback, he's a hunchbutt. ha! shh! he's looking over here - don't make eye contact!

ah, jeez - look at the time! i am supposed to get from here to there by 8, and it's like 10 till. i really need to go. sorry! i'll plan better next time. good to see you!