14. Irony: a situation where something is said but the reader can see a different meaning.

so i was walking along, doing the cooldown thing after my run, and behind me someone goes - "hey!!!" - and so i look around quick because maybe i am going to get hit by a car or something. no car, but this black guy proceeds to stride on up from behind me and inform me that i am scared and that white people are scared and rhetorically axt me why are white people so scared and tells me he's a marine and he's been around the world and white people are more scared than any other people anywhere. i am like, hey man you walked up behind me and yelled and that is just plain scary i don't care who you are and besides which you don't know me or what i am scared of and i can tell you this right now i am not scared of you.

he continued to pound the theme white people are scared, white people are scared. and he's like, "why y'all so scared?" and i am like, "hell if i even know what you are even talking about." and he keeps at it, but i keep at it, too, and i am telling him he doesn't even know me, stop judging me. i tell him he's making a racist generalization which of course the irony of this just sails right over his head like a balsa-wood glider with a wound-too-tight rubberband propeller.

he does finally concede that he doesn't know me, and he does finally shake my hand. but he pissed me off. walk up behind me and yell, and then tell me i am scared of black people?! damb, man. just... just... damb. your blackness didn't scare me -- i might not have even noticed the colour of your skin because i was pretty much focused on your completely jacked up teeth (don't the marines fix that??). no, your blackness didn't scare me. your crazyness, on the other hand, that is some scary shit right there, man. scary.