do you know why "god bless america" is not our national anthem?

so i was just now driving home from the "i was thinking of my most out going, talk to anyone and friendly type people and you were first on my list" event and i was just tootling along in the little slingshot and the eagles's "already gone" came on and so i was sanging along you can eeechore lunch all by yourself! when OMG BLUE LIGHTS ON MY TAIL BLUE LIGHTS BLUE LIGHTS!!

so i made that left there at the bank where they're putting in the new zaxby's you know, and i pulled in under the bank lights because you're always supposed to pull into a well-lit area, then i went ahead and shut off the slingshot's engine b/c i didn't want the policeman to think i would be trying to make a getaway. because clearly i am the getaway type and his first thought would be "watch out or she will get away". so you know, i wanted to put his mind at ease.

so he walks up there to my window and he's like, "didn't you see me in that lane?" and i was like, "haha. ha. no... i looked in my rearview and thought you turned." he said, "you just about gave me a heart attack." and i was going to say, well just imagine if you suddenly saw blue lights in your rear view. but i didn't. i said, "oh, sorry. haha. ha." and he was like, "do you have your license?" and i was like, "yes." and of course i immediately reached for my purse to get it out because when policemen ask you do you have your license, it's not a quiz, they are not taking roll. "license?" "prmmsnmmt!" (see the license is in my purse, so its answer is sort of muffled.) when a policeman says, do you have your license, what he means is to get it out.

so i gave it to him and he's like, "i am just going to run this and i'll get you right out of here." which was nice but odd because what am i going to say - well, your persnickityness about my mad driving skillz gonna make me LATE! and then i am like, hmm, i want to call my old man, wonder if that's okay, to make a phone call. so i lean out the winder and i am yelling, "can i make a phone call?" and he's all like, "what?" and he comes back my way a bit to hear me, and i am like, "can i just make a phone call?" and he's like, "oh, yeah. sure, and i'll have you out of here in like two minutes." again, with the concern for my time.

so i call my old man and he is like, "did you get a citation?" because apparently it's use a big official word day and i am like, "i don't think so - he said he'd have me right out of here in like two minutes." and he was like, "wow, you were lucky." and i was thinking, no - i am just THAT GOOD. but i didn't say that. i was like, "yeah."

so then sure enough, mr policeman is back at my window, handing me my license back, and he goes, "okay, so be careful out there. and, don't rely on your mirrors - take a look around. don't rely on your mirrors." and i am all like, "oh, yes sir. got it. of course. haha. ha." then i start up the slingshot and i pull out of the lot, and he pulls out behind me, and up at the light we both make a left and i am starting to think maybe he's going to follow me home and i am sort of getting a bit tense about that, but then he makes another left when i go straight and i could relax because i know he made the turn. i was not relying on my mirrors. i looked around.