if it weren't for her widemouth talk, i would like sugarland, but as it is, no. the answer is just no.

i read a story today about this abandoned subway station on the end of the east side line under nyc - the city hall station. it's perfectly preserved, yet abandoned. something about a dangerous gap between the platform and the tracks caused when the subway went to the center-opening doors. anyway for some reason it reminded me of this office building where me & the crown prince used to go play. it was when we were living with gramma-bec those couple of years. we were all crammed into that wee tiny house and me & the CP would escape on our bicycles to this office building down the road. the place was built with all outdoor entrances so that there was this network of platforms and stairs and skywalks. we'd go down there on the weekends when the building and car park were unoccupied, and we'd play some sort of cops & robbers game around the stairs and skywalks. i remember going down there all the time, so you know we probably went once or i dreamed the whole thing. but having the run of that place was exceptional, even if it was a dream.

i miss playing cops & robbers. there are some things that adults just aren't allowed to do, and running around an office building pretending to shoot each other is one of those things. unless, you know, you have a paintball gun in your hand. adults are encouraged to be childLIKE but not childISH. look at the world with wonderment, be curious, be open and loving. but don't hop around the grocery store with your heels together pretending to be a mermaid. there's a scene in the movie big where tom hanks reaches out and strokes some lady's fur coat in the elevator. the juxtaposition inherent in hank's overgrown-child character casts a spotlight on the irony that a child can do that sort of thing, but an adult cannot.

be childLIKE but don't cross the line, don't be childISH.

it's knowing with anything approaching certainty where that line is... yeah, that's my trouble.