ten twelve ten

you know what i hate? hmm? well, yeah, you're right. i do hate that. but, i was going to talk about-- what? what did you say? well, of course, if there's anything i hate, it's THAT, but that's not what i am here to chat about today. i am here to-- huh? oh for the love of pete, stop guessing! it wasn't a real question - it was a rhetorical inquirical introduction! i hate when people take rhetorical inquirical introductions seriously!

but, i digress... today i am here to chat about the pre-dispensed paper towel.

have you ever gone in the restroom, say at work or publix or where ever, and there's a paper towel hanging there out of the dispenser, waiting on someone to use it? how does that happen, you wonder. is there a paper towel fairy? NO. it happens because some wanker is freakin paying it forward. thanks a lot, wanker! so they've paid it forward on me, and now i owe karma. super. great. FAB. U. LOUS.

firstly, i've got enough karma debt without any assistance from the anonymous hordes. secondly, karma never forgets - karma compounds - so i now have the added urgency of paying off this karma debt rightnow and my life doesn't need any more deadlines. and thirdly, what the hell are you doing planting a karma ambush? it's not like i can turn around and walk out - restrooming is an immediate-need activity.

so there i am, trapped by the karma ambush, right? wrong!

that pre-dispensed paper towel has been waving around there in air populated by toilet germs. it's not sanitary. therefore, the pre-dispensing paper puller has not, in fact, done me a favor. no, quite the opposite infact - she has tried to poison me with toilet germs! i will not be fooled! pre-dispensed towel in the trash! bright clean new fresh sanitary towel dispensed by me, used by me, disposed by me. because i did something nice for myself by avoiding the germy paper towel, i have paid it forward to myself, earning myself double bonus karma points.

you really have to be on your toes, all the time.