flu shots and tequila shots are two totally different things.

so i went to get a flu shot today. my workplace was going to offer them for $7.50 but walgreens started giving them free, except the "free" was "free to the customer" and not like free-free because somehow it would have cost more against our insurance if we all went and got our shots at walgreens, more than it would if we got them at the workplace, even if the workplace gave the shots free, so the workplace decided to give the shots free.

you still with me here? flu shots. free. today.

so i toddled on up to get me one.

i had printed my PDF form from email, filled it out, and signed it, but of course there was a queue of folks going "what form?" and filling out the form right there because they're just too busy to read their email. they saved a lot of time by standing in that line. pffth.

turned in my form and got into the shot line, and who got in line behind me? standstooclose guy. gah! don't stands, don't stands, don't stands oh close to me!

so i am busy with the iphone trying to play a little words-with and avoid conversing with the other queuers. the ladies in front are discussing how one of them's DAUGHTER had her TRASHCAN attacked by a BEAR - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! HAHAHA! sheesh. and of course there's standstooclose right behind me, and he's chatting with annoyinghello, the persistent greeter, and they are alternating between the sort of extreme cornball jokes that old guys are forever telling each other, and intense debate on the safety of the flu shot.

we are slowing moving towards the shotlady when three of the cool kids show up and take their places at the end of the queue, and they three each make a face at me, and i make a collective face back in their direction. wordless convo successfully completed, i go back to the iphone when standstooclose starts tapping me "hey, look, they are waving at you. hey, waving. hey. hey. hey, they are trying to get your attention. those three. there. hey. hey."

"i know."

i find the pithy reply to work best in these situations.

here's a phenomenon of the shot line: premature sleeve rolling. four, five, six deep back from the shot provider, folks are rolling up their sleeves and like tucking them all up around their shoulders and even in some cases holding them up at the ready. like, when they get up there, shotlady is going to be all like - "your sleef not ready! no shot for you!" relax, people. nurse betty will give you time to roll 'em up.

the shotlady was for some reason not opening the sterile hypodermic packages. when she was running low, otherlady came to help open the packages. first, otherlady slathered her hands with disinfectant, then she started opening the packages, putting the little plastic tops on the needles, and neatly stacking them up. suddenly, a package popped open too quickly and a hypo got away from her and leapt to the floor, trying to make its escape. she picked it up, looked at it, put the little plastic top over the needle, and put the thing on the use-me pile. does the 5 second rule hold for sterile medical equipment?

then it was my turn so i signed my name on yet another form, rolled up my sleeve, got my shot, thanked shotlady, and went back to work. the end.