marezee dote sand ohzee dote sand littlam zee divy

why does the grilled chicken sandwich cost more than the fried one? they are basically the same thing but the fried is on the dollar menu and the grilled is like over $3.

so i was listening to npr this afternoon and they were interviewing a guy who makes fishing nets down in loozyanna and he was all distraught over the oil spill which of course makes sense. but something he said troubled me. he said BP is making reparations based on recorded income, and because he runs a cash-only business, he doesn't have recorded income, so BP is just going to "skate by on this one". um... hello? buddy? the only reason to run a cash-only bidness with no recorded income is to avoid paying income taxes, so who exactly is skating by here? hmmm?

earlier today officelady told me a story that involved a company car, a flat tire, a "useless man", and putting her shoulder beneath a female coworker's behind to boost said coworker into the tow truck. feel free to reconstruct the story from these meager parts.

yesterday we went to smoothie king and i got a strawberry lemon twist and it was very yummy. after completing the sippage of said smoothie, i felt not so full. usually a smoothie will fill me right on up. then i realized maybe this was one of those bling smoothies with no protein. my old man was like, call 'em up & find out. so, i called 'em up:

sk - smoothie king!
ace - [coughing fit]
ace's old man - [hahahaha!!!]
ace - ahem. hello. sorry. i am calling to see - does the strawberry lemon twist have protein?
sk - the lemon twist... let me see... what flavor did you get?
ace - strawberry.
sk - yes.
ace - yes?
sk - yes. the strawberry has protein.
ace - how many grams?
sk - grams?
ace - yes, how many grams of protein does the strawberry lemon twist have?
sk - grams?
ace - yes.
sk - let me see... hmmm... one.
ace - one?
sk - yes. one gram.
ace - thanks.
sk - your welcomed!

sha. eesh.