bare yellow bulb, vol 1 can you call it a failure if you didn't die doing it?
so sometimes shit happens and you buy a motorcycle. does that mean you have to be stuck with the focker like a freakin albatross around the neck of your life?fine, you thought it would work out different, but hell that could be the epitaph to the world. «we thought it would work out different.» falls in the category of things that make you go "duh". it goes without saying. OF COURSE you thought it would turn out different. if you thought it would turn out crappy and you did it anyway, well you're a complete idiot. you thought it would turn out different - you're not a complete idiot, you're just kind of a ignernt naïf.
but there is the albatross, sitting in the garage, condemning you daily for your failure, your weakness, your inability, your stupidity, your lack of patience and balance and determination and sheer חֻצְפָּה. daily reminding you that not only are you not at present who you thought you were - you will never be who you thought you already were. will never be. who you thought you already were. will never in the future obtain what you believed you already owned. never. never.
it's not so much that you thought you would be that person - no, it's not so much that as you thought you were that person. you thought you were that person and that all you were missing were the props. but now you have the props so you know what's missing - you are not that person.
and you never will be.
posted by ace @ 21:26
4 comments
4 Comments:
but perhaps it's a good thing that you aren't "that" person. that albatross may sit there staring at you begging to be flown, but you take the pigeon because it makes more sense.
it is not your fault that you thought you were a different person. we all believe that we are something we're not-fat, addictive, ugly, have bad hair, eat too many sweets, the greatest runner ever, the slowest runner ever. the real truth in life is that it doesn't matter who we think we are, it matters who others think we are--a safe, sane wife; a mother that can be trusted; a beautiful sister; a heroine; a great manager; fun person to play soccer with; etc. etc. etc. don't look at yourself and think about what YOU think you are...think about what others think you are.
you should go rent where the wild things are (it came out tuesday) and watch it with your old man. i think you two would appreciate it.
(ps--sell the damn bike and get an old wrangler--five speed, rag top, enough room to throw your work out or soccer stuff into the back then drive to the park with the top off during the summer)
So this post has inspired in me a whole other post which will be posted sometime today but which will not directly reference this post for reasons of obfuscations and such. But you should know that that post will be inspired by this post. You should also know that I am in total, absolute whole hearted agreement with dmb's Jeep idear. It is much easier to blast a cassette of "My Life" in a CJ-7.
Be what you would seem to be -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.
also--one can fail at certain things and not die. one of them being suicide. i did not mention this last night because i didn't think of it...
hope this makes your night better!! :)
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