for the sake of the trees

yesterday i heard a story on NPR about this science experiment involving beetles. now in the spectrum of the flora and the fauna, beetles don't rank high on beauty or cleanliness but they are sturdy and i must say they have a certain old-school dignity. beetles, however, are rampantly tearing down the trees so the experimentors are looking for ways to drive the beetles out. this of course begs the question of where the beetles will go, but hey, it's an academic experiment, not a real-world solution.

this particular experiment had to do with trying to disturb the beetles with sounds. the experimentors tried blasting backwards the rantings of rush limbaugh and blaring guns-n-roses "music". neither of these disturbed our stately hard-shelled nemesiseses. then the experimentors tried the aggression calls of the male beetle and found this sound drove the beetles to absolute distraction. the beetles would tear through anything, including plexiglass, to get away from the sound.

they tried playing this sound to a mating beetle couple and found that to get away from the sound, the male would resort to chewing through the female. he literally destroyed his mate to get away from the sound.

if i saw a beetle indoors, i would scoop it up and flush it away. if i saw a beetle outdoors, i would avoid it. i don't like beetles and don't want them near me. if a beetle were on me, i would flick it at the least and stomp it at the most. i don't have a problem with killing beetles or with other people killing beetles.

but there is something savage and just a little sad about driving a guy to kill his mate. i mean, after it's over and they turn off that sound, mr beetle is left looking at his bloody pincers wondering about the magnitude of the blackout that caused him to rip his lover apart.