size "matters". get it? matters = "is important" and matters = "issues surrounding". it's a double-entendre. did you get it? did you? did?you???????

we watched cbs sunday morning from a couple weeks ago this morning [yay tivo!]. it was the fat-fatties special edition - but it was called "size matters" not "fat-fatties".

they had a story about valerie bertinelli, who i have always believed to be a close personal friend - probably b/c my bff in high school looked like valerie. i am fairly certain if valerie lived next door we'd be great pals b/c really, who could help themselves from being pals with me if they lived next door? i am just that special. at any rate, i am a fan of valerie.

another story was about fried foods at the texas state fair, including deep fried pizza, coke, corn dogs, latte, bacon, cookie dough, and the big hit this year: deep fried butter. i kid you not. people seemed to really be enjoying it, but i am fairly certain people would eat & enjoy mud if you deep fried it. the deep fried food culture is not filled with what you'd call connoisseurs.

another story was about a sort of fat camp for grown ups at duke university. these folks were taking eat-right classes and learning about what foods are good for them [hint: NOT deep fried butter] and exercising together. this one guy had been to the fat camp three years in a row, but he said he was sure he'd learned this year how to manage his weight and would not need to come back. but - i am not convinced returning to fat camp is about learning or not learning. i would venture to say that spending a couple weeks having your meals prepared and playing water volleyball with a poolful of fat-fatties is actually real, true fun. what's the harm in fun? someone should open sleep-away camps for grown ups. fat-fatties or not - grown ups could benefit from this sort of adventure.

there is an aspect of fat camp that would be very difficult to translate to the real world - group exercising. where are you going to find a dozen people, a pool, a net, and a ball - all available at the same time and willing to suit up for a game of water volleyball? i hope that they're teaching these folks to opt for the stairs over the elevators and to park further away from the mall - to put movement into their everyday existence. ["movement" as in "moving around" - not as in "number 2". heh. number 2. heh-heh.]

the fattest states are missippy, bamalama, and west virginny. apparently the citizens of west virginny are not satisfied with being almost in heaven and are eagerly eating their way to the actual after-life location.

in conclusion, valerie bertinelli is my bff.