well, come in!

today is friday on thursday. wellkommen.

sitting at the 'shroom with my foot propped in a chair and people keep walking by and giving me the stank eye like my foot is in the way but jeezum there could be a person sitting there. i mean it is a chair and all. would they give the person the stank eye?? yeah maybe they would and you know the person's back would be getting the stanks so they probably would not even know unless the stanks were like feeler stanks with tines.

speaking of tines - we were cutting our pizza with our forks, you know how you'll cut with the side of your fork - wanka-wanka-wanka - back & forth. wanka. wank. a. yeah, well, you know how you'll cut like maybe pizza or waffles with your fork? we're sitting there tearing at the 'zza, and my old man goes «they should make forks with a slightly sharpened side, not like sharp-sharp but like sort of sharp.» and we looked at each other and went «yeah!» and of course my old man is all the time thinking up this shizzle and then we see like the next week that someone's making a billion off his idea, selling the product on an infomersh & in walgreens's «as seen on teevee» aisle. here's the thing about the slightly sharpened fork - firstly, if it's overly sharpened you'd just cut your mouth and that's bad but you know that forks have an established rep as being a wee bit dangereuse with their tines all pointy, so there's already a caution factor with the fork. the benefit of the slightly sharp side would outweigh the danger. and secondly, as per elvis & junior, the southpaw would require the southpaw fork or else they'd just be cutting up their fingers and be no further along on the 'zza and that's just an aggravation.

the waitress brought our check, and we were both wanking away at our individual iphone, and my old man goes to the waitress «we've both been sucked into email - haha.» and she goes «that's okay. it's thursday.»

well, come in!