it's weird that van den bosch and bullock won't be out there on our side today.

so yesterday i went grocery shopping at kroger's's which i hardly ever do anymore because i go to publix but i like to periodically visit kroger's's to remind myself why i don't go there. people say that kroger's's costs less but for instance, the blueberries were $2.50 at kroger's's and they are $5 at publix, but here's the facts, jack - the carton at kroger's's was half the size of the carton at publix. so, you can't just go around saying blueberries are cheaper at kroger's's. the perception that publix is pricier is pervasive - people believe it and don't compare.

false lower prices - reason not to shop at kroger's's.

yesterday they had some sort of karaoke tailgate party going on in the produce section. while there are no tailgates inside the store, making that title a bit of a misnomer, luckily no one was karaoking, but oddly, the DJ was playing old cry-in-your-beer sad honkytonk heartbreak songs. nothing says "yay grapes are on sale" like a cheatin' song.

bizarre musical events - reason not to shop at kroger's's.

i was thinking it might be difficult to explain this next one without offending some folks, then i remembered i don't give a frog what you people think. here's the thing - the shoppers are kroger's's have too little clothing covering too much flesh. these fat fatties in bathing suits and daisy dukes are purchasing fried snacks, sugar cereals, processed meat products, and beer. they are waddling around the store hollering at their progeny about cheese doodles and donuts.

i am better than this - reason not to shop at kroger's's.

i sought yogurt covered raisins and this yogurt-covered-raisin-search was actually one reason i went to kroger instead of publix. publix has not had them, despite my asking, but now that i have found them at kroger's's you can be sure of this: i will tell publix next time i am there that i, a very loyal customer, had to go somewhere else to locate a product that i have been axing for. bad publix! bad!

yogurt covered raisins - reason to shop at kroger's's.

my yogurt-covered-raisin-search was stalled out by my not knowing where anything is at the kroger's's. i attempted to jump-start the search by inquiring of a store employee where i might find this item. store employees are scarce at kroger's's, but i finally located a couple ladies gossiping behind some boxes they were no doubt supposed to be unloading. when i asked about the yogurt covered raisins, i was pleasantly surprised that not only did the ladies know where this item was located, one of them walked me directly to the product. this is precisely what the publix staff does, and they are much easier to find, so even though she was helpful, her hiding counts against.

difficult to find helpful staff - reason not to shop at kroger's's.

and when i got home i realized i had an item for which i had not paid. i considered different methods of going back and paying for it because there was no way i was keeping it without paying since that's how karma tricks you into the darkside. it was small so i decided i'd go back to a different kroger's's carrying the item in an undisclosed location about my person. when arriving at the store, i'd pick up another couple items, bring out the unpaidfor item in a secluded aisle, and pay for them all together. this worked brilliantly and karma was thwarted.

karma lying in wait to snare unsuspecting goodfolk - reason not to shop at kroger's's.