a high maintenance wolf in low maintenance sheep's clothing

so that year he gave me a gift certificate to get a pedicure at the spa and of course when i opened it and saw what it was, my head started spinning around and pea soup spewed out my mouth. i was either yelling or perhaps just talking a bit too loudly about not being that kind of person and why couldn't he just accept me for who i am and not try to change me. yeah. uh-huh. and needless to say, he was bewildered because who views a certificate for a pedicure as mandate to change their core personality? someone who is mad, that's who. freaking completely barking mental. who can take a gift of pampering given with care and turn it into a giant gaping hole of screaming fear? again, only someone who is completely mental. blah blah blah. time passes. waters flow under bridges. pages turn in the books of our lives. sands through the hourglass. et cetera. i am certainly not the one who can vouch for my being worth the trouble, but there must be something to be said for the adventure that is me because yesterday he went with me to get my first ever pedicure. and surprisingly, i lived to tell about it.