we still say "tape that show" even though the vcr has been replaced by a dvr.

when you eat a baked tater, do you eat the skin? i do. my old man does not. he is all like - hey, that's gross, you don't know if they cleaned it. but the truth is he doesn't like tater skins so it really doesn't matter if they are clean, he is not going to eat them anyway. it's also true that i do like them so it really doesn't matter if they are clean, i am going to eat them anyway. i mean, if there were like clumps of mud hanging off, well no i would not eat THAT and i'd actually be very likely to send it back. i mean, i'd send it back if i were at a restaurant. if i fixed myself a baked tater and there was mud on it, i would not eat the skin, but i would still eat the tater. i would not send it back to myself because i am really likely to spit in the food if i have to refix it and spit trumps mud. as far as tater skins go - the best are the ones that have giant salt crystals all over them. mmm!

our cutlery is a sad lot. we've got a mélange of forks, knives, and spoons that make the drawer where they live look like a bin at goodwill. some of the pieces are uselessly misshapen, and the sad thing is they were made that way on purpose. forks with no substance to them and knives with no weight in the handle and spoons with bowls that are made for turtles' mouths. there's some stuff that bothers me so bad i cannot even eat with it. i give it to my old man. he doesn't notice.

we have a nice box of stainless flatware in the other room, for company, and a box of silver in the basement, for looking at. i have considered moving the nice, matching stainless to the drawer and using it as our everyday but the problem is that there are a few pieces in the ménagerie that are special. there's my cereal spoon, my ice cream / yogurt spoon, and my butter knife. the cereal spoon is a vintage dig 'em spoon, one of which me & my pals each sent away for with boxtops saved at brigadoon. these are apparently now a collectors item. the ice cream / yogurt spoon was lifted by the shaman from an american airlines flight meal. back in the day, they handed out actual stainless with the airplane food. this is also apparently now a collectors item. the butter knife is the only piece i have left from the stainless of my childhood, doubtless also a collectors item if i knew where to look.

i have to guard these carefully b/c as i said, my old man doesn't notice. he will use them with total disregard. i do keep them in a separate part of the drawer, but sometimes they get into circulation via the dish drainer. i am ever vigilant and have been known to replace a special utensil in my old man's hand with a plain utensil. you would think after all these years he'd realize that some of the pieces are not intended for his use. sheesh.