i realise that 5k is running competition not fashion competition but don't you think the raspberry-coloured sniglet will make me run more fasterly?

for my next trick, i will grab some things that i didn't know i wanted to read.

ridicularious
today i made up this word: ridicularious. it's a combination of ridiculous and hilarious, as in "that's ridiculously hilarious!" - "that's ridicularious!" you are welcome to use this anytime you want b/c i have opted not to register it as a trademark. the only requirement is that when you use it, you think of me because i could really use some gold stars in my karma bucket.

as a general rule, i refuse to provide that which does not exist.

one ringie-dingie
i have lately been getting calls at work from a collection agency. i don't answer them and they don't leave messages - but i know it's a collection agency b/c i reverse look 'em up. today, they finally left a message -- for adelicia roadhouse. my name is not adelicia roadhouse. my name is ace. clearly ms roadhouse faked the number on her credit app. i would venture to say with a name like adelicia roadhouse that she faked the name, too. my phone's on a trunk line, so you wouldn't even know the number existed. you could say her choosing my number was serendipitous but only if you didn't know the meaning of that word because what she did is pretty much the opposite of serendipitous.

never put a ladybug in your mouth. they are not as tasty as you might have been lead to believe.

snack facts
today at the non-food-vendor vendor meeting, the non-food-vendor vendor brought malted milk balls in vanilla & strawberry, which i lurve, and izzes which i thought were high in sugar but which are in fact fruit juice with no added sugar, and a chocolate cake from zoë's which when they cut this cake the icing made a marvelous crunchcrunchcrunch because unlike the izze it was la-ho-ded with sugar. but i didn't eat it b/c i don't like chocolate. she is really good at this food thing and if she ever lost her job as a non-food-vendor vendor she could probably be a food vendor or she could be a caterer for non-food-vendor vendor meetings.

there is no i in stupid.

3312
today at the non-food-vendor vendor meeting, coworker found in the sample book the item she wanted. it was #3312. vendor axt for the number. this convo ensued:
--
coworker - «three three one twelve.»
vendor - «three three one twelve?»
coworker - «yes, right below three three oh two. three three one twelve.»
vendor - «three three one two.»
coworker - «yes, three three one twelve.»
--
from my perch, i could peruse vendor's paisley-patterned project planning pad, so i observed her record the order thusly: 332. 3.3.2. between the all of us, it's a wonder we can produce an order worthy of ladybugs on toast.