tripping to the liberry

why is it so freaking hard to find a good book? i wandered around the liberry tonight for over an hour and when they announced «the liberry will be closing in 15 minutes» and i got really desperate for something - anything! - to read, i finally remembered i wanted to read ken follett's world without end - sequel to one of my all time faves, the pillars of the earth. i am fairly certain wwe is not going to be as good as pillars b/c it's just so much to live up to but the POINT of this BLATHER is that i spent over an hour wandering around the liberry, looking in the liberry catalog online, looking up «people who bought this also bought that» on bn.com, wandering, scanning shelves, using computers, wandering, gazing, wandering.

here's one thing i realized while wandering - if you want to have a bestseller, pick a pen name that will get your books shelved near a Big Name Author. this holds true for bookstores and liberries both and is especially important if you are going to write in a particular jonray. like, if you are going to write legal thrillers, use a pen name that will get your books shelved near grisham. i suggest grishal or grishan. either of these names will put you right there next to ol' john. and see here's the idea - folks come looking for grisham and all the grishams have been purchased [bookstore] or checked out [liberry] so they will go for the nearby book of same jonray and wahlah - it's your book. here's some pen name idears for ya, by jonray:

horror - koonty
legal thriller - grishal
chic lit - evanovici
mindless blather - steeld
talking animals being oppressed by the man - orwelm
talking animals that are actually plush toys - milnf

and so on. see? easy.

tonight while wandering, i picked up several books & did not put them back where they belong. most places moving the merch around is Not Approved, but in the liberry there are signs everywhere telling you not to attempt to reshelve the books yourself. if you remove a book from its appointed place, and you do not wish to check it out, just put it down. drop it like it's hot! put it on a table or cart or simply place it on an empty shelf. do not under any circumstances attempt to reshelve the book yourself. highly dangerous. something would probably splode.