i was hoping they'd hand out pistols, but all we got was a looseleaf binder.

so, i went to the self defense class because my old man thinks it's a good idea. here is what i learned tonight:

- if your husband really loves you, he will get you two mobile phones.
- it is important to do the homework reading for this class, even if you have to do your reading on the pot.
- contrary to popular belief, women have no desire to be raped.
- do not let strangers into your home.
- it is not recommended that you pick up hitchhikers.
- it is a good idea to know the make, model, & color of the car you personally drive.
- to find out what a rainbow party is, ask the instructor in private.
- be wary of vehicles bumping into you to simulate an accident.
- when on an elevator, be aware of other people.
- some men go to the gym to pick up the ladies.
- the internet in general is a dangerous place with many sexual predators.

next week, we start practicing the hitting. one of the great things about these types of classes is that you practice hitting on a realistic attacker... you know, if you live in giant red plastic man world.