the difficulty, of course, is that it happened so quickly. you left your mind unattended for only a moment but that was enough - it devoured itself.

people are always axing me, "ace, how did you get so smart?" as if there were a secret to it, and if they knew the secret, well then they could be smart like i am, but i just smile and shake my head. i used to tell the truth, but i don't anymore because when i tell folks the truth, they get all offended. they think the truth is a lie that i am using to cover up the secret, to hide it, to keep it to myself and away from them. they would rather think i am a selfish prat than accept the truth.

the truth is that i didn't GET smart; i AM smart. i was born this way. my IQ is pretty much off the charts. yeah, sure, there are plenty of people around who have more formal education than i do, but formal education doesn't make you smart, it makes you educated. and yes, there are people with higher IQs, but most of them are kept very busy being astronauts or neurosurgeons or winos or scientists in laboratories discovering things and winning nobel prizes. srsly. my IQ puts me in a group of like 2% of the population so obviously the rest of the really smart people are nowhere near me most of the time, resulting in my appearing to be dazzlingly brilliant in my native habitat on any given day.

any given day NOW, that is. in the house in which i lived as a child, everyone was a genius. srsly. there were six of us and we were all geniuses. well, at least 80% of us were. it is profoundly odd to be simultaneously so rare and so common.

i realize people will read this and perceive me as arrogant, but this perception is less about my intelligence than it is about your stupidity. i mean, duh, of course i am dissing you - you are an idiot. try to see it from my point of view: compared to me, you are like a rock, a talking rock maybe, but a talking rock that manages to make about as much sense as... well... as would a talking rock. hey, now - don't be a hater. don't hold my being intelligent against me. c'mon. i don't blame you for being stupid.