italian restaurant optional

we are not what you'd call connoisseurs, but we know what we like. he likes a bottle of red, i like a bottle of white. preferably under $12.

my old man used to drink cycles gladiator or red guitar. the former has a bicycle on the label and the latter a guitar, and he's a guitar-playing cyclist or a cycle-riding guitarist and either way, there you go. then, he attended an event at a local winery and discovered he liked a more expensive wine. go figure. but he took this knowledge to the local wine store and got some advice about things he might like in our price range. they advised he try toasted head and ménage à trois. in contrast to the alignment of label-to-activity of his former choices, he participates in neither of these activities. however, he says the wines are to his liking.

red wine gives me a headache. i like rosé, but somehow it seems like cheating - like it isn't real wine. stupid? maybe, but i am drinking it so i get to make the rules. i explored the whites by my usual method of picking out attractive labels. chardonnay, sauvignon blanc, pinot gris, chenin blanc... yawn. i kept trying sweeter and sweeter wines but i was getting nowhere. the frustration was crushing! [not really.] here's what i didn't know - i don't like sweet wine, i like dry wine. d'oh!

someone who knows suggested riesling and i was willing to try anything at that point. i used my usual shopping method of perusing for a pretty label and in the riesling department found one with a picture of stark, gray rocks that looked like something you'd see in a stream on a rainy day - perfect! the label says, «a region of steep slate hills and winding rivers» - double perfect! clean slate riesling is crisp and not too sweet, smooth with a bit of a tingle but no bite, and has a wee splash of minerals. «haha,» you say, «minerals? what do minerals even taste like?» well, i am here to tell you. minerals taste like rocks. yum! rocks! what, you don't like rocks? guess what - you do like rocks and you don't even know it. if you have ever tasted water from a wild stream or a woodland spring? it's fresh, cool, crisp... mineral.

enough talk - let's drink!