post #1300

today's adventure in dentaldom included a visit to a dentist and an endodontist. this particular dentist will probably now be "my dentist" although the phrase "my dentist" is a bit imprecise, don't you agree? i mean, it's not like i am carrying him around in my pocket or that he is at my beck & call. it would be more accurate to say - he is the dentist that i see for my dental care needs.

back in the day, we didn't receive much dental care no matter what our needs might have been. it speaks to the natural resiliency of the human body that i have any of my original dental units. on the other hand, elvis has a mouth full of falsies, so mayhaps i am simply lucky.

at any rate, today i saw the third dentist in 5 months.

dentist #1 had been the dentist that i saw for my dental care needs for maybe like 25 years and i liked him. he always made a big deal about my fabulous strong teeth and he didn't make me have novocaine when he filled my cavaties. however, over the past several visits, something has changed. he's all scrunched up and humourless and installed a bunch of closed circuit teevees around the office that run an endless loop of ads for tooth accoutrements - whitening, caps, implants, et cetera. i conclude his accountant embezzled his retirement savings so he's been reduced to peddling tooth enhancements like a tinker with cart. he also charged too much for a crown and would not consider a price reduction, even for a long-time patient such as myself.

dentist #2 offered a reasonably priced crown but after he had already shot my mouth full of novocaine, he announced that i could choose between a crappy crown at price i had been quoted or Good Crown at $100 additional. not only could i not make an educated selection between the two choices, i had to make this uneducated decision immediately. how could i possibly NOT choose the Good Crown? it was obvious i was not the first patient he had backed into this particular corner. i will not bore you with further the details -- i'll just cut to the chase and say he's a bit of a prat.

dentist #3 has so far been gentle, honest, and caring. he actually listened to my rambling Monologue des Dents, but couldn't help and suggested i see the endodontist.

endodontist is from the greek "endo" meaning inside and "odon" meaning tooth. in case you didn't know, there's like a whole world going on inside each tooth. the endodontist kind of specializes in snuffing out the lives of the poor weetle teefees by performing root canals which consist of replacing the living tissue inside the tooth with quick-crete.

endodontists apparently make a great deal of money performing tooth executions. as evidence of this i offer their finely appointed restroom. the pic doesn't reveal the size, but i stepped it off and it's approximately 135sqft. this is in comparison to the bathroom attached to the master suite in my house, which measures approx 72sqft, including the shower.

the good news is that my tooth was given a stay of execution. the bad news is this extension of grace has not lessened it's ceaseless objection to living. despite its pain, it's really quite a healthy tooth. it simply has an unfounded death wish. there's a moral in there somewhere. make like an endodontist and dig it out.