headlines!

«Jennifer Hudson Gives Birth To New Baby Boy» -- ballerstatus.com -- good thing, eh? i mean, no one wants to give birth to an old baby cause that's just wack.

«US official gropes to explain Clinton's outburst» -- associate press -- heh. fairly certain the a-p saw the irony of using "gropes" and "clinton" in the same sentence.

«Orange Beach & Seacliff State Beach closed after shark attacks porpoise» -- san jose mercury news -- okay, seriously folks. if you're going to close the beach every time a shark has lunch, there won't be any open beaches anywhere. circle of life and so on. just stay outta the freakin' shark's way, and he'll naturally eat seafood - because those sea creatures? feeding sharks is their... porpoise. ppfahahaha!

«Sapporo Gains After Nikkei Reports Brewer to Buy Pokka Stake» -- bloomberg -- words of all english my language of speaking yet meaning of words to me invisible.

«Mexican Drug Gangs Diversify Into Oil» -- forbes -- don't want to be putting all your eggs in that maryjane basket, do you now?

«Genome Sequencing Gets More Affordable» -- atlanta journal constitution -- whew. this is a relief to me & all middle class americans who have been struggling to pay for our genome sequencing.

«Stay-at-home mom rips Arlen Specter a new one» -- examiner.com -- ppfahahaha! that's just funny, i don't care what your politics are.

«Taiwan mudslide hundreds 'alive'» -- bbc -- 'alive'? like 'zombies'?