randomosity throughout the day... chatting w/ elvis

ace: if someone is kind of choking, you know, on their own spit or maybe on a drink of water, and they are coughing constantly, is it rude to say, "shut it!!"
elvis: no, it's health advice.

elvis: Jesus was a Community Organizer
elvis: Pilate was a Governor
ace: okay, well, who won that battle, eh? ol' pilate there with a bowl of wawa and a little blood on his paws, but he's not nailed to no freakin' cross, is he??
elvis: LOL
[hey, i never said it wasn't going to be sacreligious, did i? elvis LOLed.]

ace: what's a word that means - reliably correct... like correct every time.... reliable..... i know... never mind.... used the thethauruth
elvis: reliable... able to be relied upon
ace: shuttup. i got it.
elvis: trustworthy
ace: shuttup.
elvis: elvisish
ace: i didn't say antonyms.
[hey, i never really promised it would be funny, either, did i?]

elvis: 6utgwh35t
o,k hgyhN<
ace: hi beavis!! hang on while i download a translattion program
ace: would you like a cheerio?
elvis/beavis: jhkjxhygh ebjy
ace: well, tell your pops he's a dolt. cheerios are good for you.
elvis/beavis: t6 hterhbFY&!@IO M 'J b x
ace: here, i will soften it up by dipping it in coffee.
elvis/beavis: m
[hey, even baby beavis knows coffee's yummy!]

elvis: pay them whatever they want
elvis: just left me a 3 minute message of his pocket
elvis: LAME
ace: the books are split only for the readers. there are several people involved with the process, but the readers are the only ones who might have their work split up. she split up everyones' work. payment pieces. lame like a buttcall.
elvis: LOL
[hey, i love it when elvis LOLs!]

ace: i have to pee, but i am too lazy to get up. i am going to start wearing depends. everyone will wonder why my office smells like a urinal. i will be like, "plumbing, sheesh." they will think i am talkign about the building's plumbing, when i refer to my own pipes. hah!
elvis: ok that was funny you get a point
ace: ding!

ace: my cube neighbor just said, on the phone, "i am not in the youth unit anymore."
ace: i thought she said, "i am not using anymore."

ace: obama...yo'mama...i thought she was a llama

ace: first, it was an "american warplane", then an "american jet", then a "western aircraft", and now....
ace: Iran forced an aircraft carrying Hungarian military officials to land after it entered its airspace, Hungary's Defense Ministry said Tuesday.
ace: maybe they just wanted to get somethign to eat.
ace: get it?? hungary?? eat??
ace: *rimshot*
ace: i'll be here all week folks. don't forget to tip your waitress.

ace: so, my boss is wearing a heart monitor. fine. get some baselines, it's all good. but, this thing is in a pack the size of a camera case, with an overtheshoulder strap. he looks like a tourist. we live in an age of advanced technology. surely there is something smaller.

ace: ::sigh:: talking to myself again

ace: the next person who says, "isbn number" gets a bonk upside the head
ace: dolts.

ace: ho hum...suck my thumb...playing on a big bass drum

ace: omg.
ace: omg
ace: b/c of the heart monitor, my boss has not taken a shower in like 2 days.
ace: omg

okay, that's all there is. funny stuff, i know. you're rolling in the floor laughing. i know. glad to be here for ya.

sheesh.