betty boot lessons

as betty boot & i have travelled thru this summer, she has taught me many lessons.

when people see me with betty boot, they will ask either -

«what happened?»

-- or --

«what did you do?»

i have noticed that guys usually go with «what did you do?» and gals do «what happened?». guys assume that i did something that caused the injury because guys are all the time doing stuff to cause injury. gals as a rule are more passive - if they are injured, it's b/c something happened to them. people inquire about others from their own context.

another thing i've noticed is that when you're on crutchers, people will try to help you by holding doors & carrying your backpack & such. these people fall into categories as follows:

» those who actually don't try to help at all.

» those who try to help because they feel sorry for me. ick. they are awkward and all with the "bless your heart". ick. pity is so completely useless, absolutely serves no purpose at all. i really try to avoid accepting any help from them b/c i don't want to validate the pity, but then they end up saying something stupid like "you're doing so good" as if crutchers have made me a drooling eejit. [with apologies to all actual drooling eejits out there]

» those who try to help because they think they are supposed to - they are not exactly begrudging of the help, but not exactly cheerful either. to them it's a chore to be completed.

» those for whom helping me is inconveniencing them, so it's like i'll owe them something if they help me. i don't actually need much help, and i don't want to owe anyone for something i didn't even need, so i'll do my best to avoid accepting the help of these people. usually can accomplish this by simply continuing to move along - not allowing them the time they need to get their act together to help me.

oh, and here's the irony - in many cases to accept help, i must go out of my way, slow down, wait. is it really help if it's not really helpful?

where was i?

right.

» those who try to help b/c they think it makes them look good. performance assistance. these people will only help if there are other people around to watch them helping. unpleasant.

» those who help b/c it is in their nature to help. to accept this help, i don't even have to accept it. does that make sense? these people are such natural helpers that they instinctively know how to help without inconveniencing themselves or me. they can open a door at my pace while stepping out of the way. they can reach for a backpack or a water bottle without being awkward at all. they get there first and don't even ask what i might need. they just naturally do it without calling attention to themselves at all. these people are all that and a bag of fritos.