30 days hath september, april, june, and november, all the rest have 31 except february which rides a unicycle and eats peanut butter.

i've signed up for a lifeguarding class and tomorrow's the first day - the pre-course swim test. you've got to pass the test to qualify for the course, which is pretty much why they call it the pre-course test. duh. yeah, shut up.

the first section of the test is swimming endurance. you have to swim 300 yards in the order listed below. it's not timed, but if you stop and hang on the side you have to start over. this should be easy-peasy except i really hate front crawl.
- 100 yards front crawl using rhythmic breathing and a stabilizing, propellant kick.
- 100 yards of breastroke using pull, breathe, kick, glide sequence.
- 100 yards of either front crawl using rhythmic breathing or breastroke.

i am not sure what rhythmic breathing is. i mean, i could guess that it's breathing in a sort of pattern and not just randomly, and maybe it specifically means breathing on the side and not at the top of the stroke. i am sure that i will be doing the correct form because i was taught at brigadoon over the course of many years. in fact, i took lifesaving back in the day at the 'doon. i have swum miles and miles and miles. i am sure i will do it correctly. the problem is that 100 yards is up, back, up, back - 2 laps or 4 lengths. i usually do crawl, breastroke alternating. crawl just wears me the hell out. but, still, i am sure i can do that all.

now, the second part is a bit of a challenge and i would have liked to have practiced this but just didn't get around to setting it up. it's the 10-pound brick test. starting in the water, swim 20 yards using front crawl or breastroke, feet first surface dive into 7-10 feet, retrieve a 10-pound object, return to the surface, swim 20 yards back to the starting point holding the object in both hands and keeping your face above the water and exit the water without using a ladder or steps. whew. the hardest part here for me will be getting out without the steps. the second-hardest part will be the object retrieval. the swimming, both without and with the object, should be no problem. "should be" i say.

the very most difficult part of the day will be sitting around in my swimsuit with a bunch of svelt teenagers. the next most hardest part will be writing a giant-sized check to pay for the class ($125!!). the next most hardest and next most hardest will be the two parts of the brick test. the next most hardest will be the 100 yards of crawl.

wish me luck!

DO IT!!

the best part will be if i pass the whole course, i will earn the right to wear one of these. yipee ki yay!