ace's got a brand new bag

got a bag from r-e-i to carry my workout stuff to work and it's an oddish bag b/c the handle is on the bottom, see? the string pulls from one end and the handle's on the other end. so you pull it up tight and then turn it over to carry it which i must say is a wee bit disconcerting b/c you're just pretty sure all your stuff is going to come unstuffed & be on the sidewalk, but sure-nuff it holds the stuff. pretty cool, eh?according to the r-e-i website, this item is «imported». hrm... imported from where, one wonders? one suspects somewhere in asia. china most likely. hrm... speaking of asia, north korea sure has been in the new a lot lately, eh? «nkorea» as they call it in the press. ol' kim jong-il is a freakmaster and is over there sploding nuquelar bomps. what a complete eejit, and isn't it comforting that the rest of the world is just putting their collective foot down & putting ol' kim jong in time-out. yeah - that's the way to show him who means buziness - tell him we all «disapprove». hey! news alert! kimmy jong jong don't give a ping-pong what the rest of the world thinks. our disapproval is not going to stop him from sploding up things. we might want to consider sploding up him! he's now named his son kim jong-un as his successor. well, good, because the world needs fresh it some fresh kim jong jong to keep rolling along-long.an offshoot of nkorea's celebrity as a country is the renewed reporting from & about its capitol - pyongyang. now, clearly, the word in korean is not «pyongyang» b/c they do not write with the same letters we use. that's the representation in our language. pyongyang sounds similar to but should not be confused with phnom penh - the capitol of cambodia. here's a map of southeast asia, which is scrotumesque in shape. oh, it is, and you know it so just stop laffing. this map does not include korea - which is further east of china. here's a map of korea. see how it's sort of hanging off there... from the end... like... uh... right. whatevs. like nothing. like korea.now - if you want to pronounce pyongyang correctly, and by «correctly» i of course mean how they do it on npr, this is what you do -- hold your nose and say «peeYOON-yehng» sort of shooting out the YOON part after a short "pee" and sort of holding the yehng for a count. «peeYOON-yehng» -- try it. try!it! here's the thing about korean - it's very different from english. it's nasal & atonal. one would venture to say it's unattractive & easily mocked, but that's just xenophobic. so, one will say it's unfamiliar. and, atonal. and, nasal. so, we will not mock the korean language. we will mock kim jong-il! kim jong a ping pong ding dong! don't worry - making fun of k-j-i is not xenophobia b/c he's a freaker. so, it's freakerphobia. and, when it comes right down to it, who's not afraid of the freakers? it only makes sense to be afraid of the freakers.

ace OUT!